kwoman99 Posted February 20, 2012 Posted February 20, 2012 my boyfriend of a year and 1 month just broke up with me. we were in a long distance relationship because we go to different colleges but I was still seeing him almost every weekend. first we went on a break because we had been spending a lot of time arguing. we didn't talk much for 3 days but there were still a couple of times where he told me he loved me. he called me on the 3rd day saying hes been thinking a lot during our break and half the time he just wanted to call me and tell me this was all a mistake and wanted to be with me but the other half of the time he was thinking he wanted to break up. his reasoning was "he just wasn't 100% in it" and its not fair for me to be with someone like that. I was in complete shock that he didnt even want to try to work things out with me. I asked him multiple times if there was someone else that he was thinking he might be happier with and he kept saying no thats not the case at all, I just dont know what happened to make me feel differently about you. a week later I find out that hes hanging out with this girl he always said was a friend from the gym. they went out to lunch the day after we broke up and then spent valentines day together the day after. now the girl keeps updating her fb saying shes with a "special someone " and posting pics of things he is doing for her. all of this seems so weird to me because not even two weeks ago everything was perfect and he was telling me how he loves having me in his life. we were making plans to take a trip later that month and now all of a sudden him and this new girl are doing everything together. I just feel like she has to be a rebound or he's just infatuated with her because shes something new. does this seem like the case?
flitzanu Posted February 20, 2012 Posted February 20, 2012 labeling her as a "rebound" isn't going to change what's happened. he left you for her, simple as that. if you continue pursuing him or "why" it happened still leaves you as being his second choice, if that's the role you want to play. doesn't sound like he's into you anymore.
jus d'orange Posted February 20, 2012 Posted February 20, 2012 What your ex has done doesn't sound particularly loving and respectful. As flitzanu said, it doesn't matter what this other girl is to him; he is no longer with you. You won't respect yourself and he won't respect you if you don't walk away from this with your head held high. You don't deserve to be treated like that. If this other girl is simply a fling or rebound, then he'll eventually realize it and it won't have done him any good. At that point, he may want to rekindle things with you. However, that could only happen if he still respects you. At that point, you'd need to ask yourself if you still respected him. Hope this helps!
PinkCarnations Posted February 20, 2012 Posted February 20, 2012 THis breakup is easy for him because he already has someone else. They are probably dating now, kissing, having sex, whatever. I'm sure you're heartbroken... It's painful, I know. And she may be a rebound, or she may someone he really likes and wants to get know better.. But either way, you're not with him. Chances are you, he might miss you at times and may want to return to you when things don't work out with the new girl. Will you still want him? If you do, then the misery you feel right now will lead to a better tomorrow - a tomorrow where he chose to come back to you and maybe your love will be more intense. But right now, realize that he is not with you, and you should try your best to move on. As in, do not contact first or ask about his girl. Be distant, but still courteous. Do not let him have you as if you are still his girlfriend because he will never want you back if he is able to have the attention/affection from the both of you. Talk to new guys, live your life, and he will probably be wondering about you. People don't lose feelings that quickly. In the process, you might just find someone better.
Author kwoman99 Posted February 20, 2012 Author Posted February 20, 2012 It's not that I want to get back with him. Ive accepted the fact that we broke up but I'm still just really pissed about the whole situation and knowing she's just a rebound would make things a little better. But still doesn't make me want to try to get back with him. I just don't understand how His feelings change that quickly
jus d'orange Posted February 20, 2012 Posted February 20, 2012 People are weird... and feelings are even weirder. If it helps you to know, I don't know of many new, healthy relationships that rise from the fires of a just ended relationship. Nevertheless, you've got to realize that his decision-making isn't worth your thoughts at the moment. Time to focus on yourself!
Philosoraptor Posted February 21, 2012 Posted February 21, 2012 It's not that I want to get back with him. Ive accepted the fact that we broke up but I'm still just really pissed about the whole situation and knowing she's just a rebound would make things a little better. But still doesn't make me want to try to get back with him. I just don't understand how His feelings change that quickly I understand that it would make you feel better. You're likely in the place where you feel not good enough compared to this new person. Take nothing from their relationship, your self esteem is just that... from inside.
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