Str8Rippin Posted February 20, 2012 Posted February 20, 2012 Hey everyone/anyone. I'll start out by saying I really appreciate any advice/insight you can offer, and if not still thanks for reading. Well it started two years ago my sophomore year in high school, this girl and I started dating. We were eachother's firsts, and it was truly magical. We loved eachother- I know it doesn't mean much coming from a high school teen but you know, first loves and all that. We were the happiest people alive together for the beginning of the relationship. The first year or so was near perfect, I mean we had our problems and some small breaks but not even really any major fights. However after the first year it started going downhill and more and more became an emotional roller coaster. We fought a lot. The good times were good and the bad times were bad. But we never truly left each other, and we were so happy when it was working. The problem was definitely me (partially her, but mostly me) and it was that I got complacent, and I got stupid. I messed it up. The last few months were pretty horrid as far as up and down pretty steeply. Then last week we both decided it was hell, and we needed to stop it because neither of us was happy. However, I decided the next day screw that, we were happy once, we can do it again. So I showed up with flowers and stuff and we got back together for four days and it was happy again- till she just ended it out of no where. She said it didn't feel right and was a mistake and too soon after all of our fights. I accepted it and gave her space. Then, about four days after she broke it off, I called her because I had a bad gut feeling. She said she was busy "with a friend" and couldn't talk and hung up. Sure enough, two days later she tells me she's talking to another guy and I confirm she lied to me. It hurt- a lot. I begged and pleaded to be taken back, it was bad. She sat there coldly, hiding an actual smile on her face while I cried (I assume she felt justified, because I did hurt her pretty badly a couple times in some bad fights) and said no, she didn't want to try again. She was just "done." She said she felt a little of our love still there, but mostly it was gone. So, I couldn't eat for three days and felt like someone ripped out my soul. It started getting better, very slightly (by that I mean I can actually eat now, and it's been about two weeks since she broke it off). I gave her a letter a few days ago, basically reminiscing about the happy times, admitting I ****ed it up and how sorry I am and wish I could take it back, ended it saying there's a hole in my heart forever reserved for her, that I'll always be there for her if needed, and she's always welcome back. Then I said I didn't expect a response, just had to tell her. That helped, knowing I'd put the ball in her court and if she truly loved me, she'd come back and if not, then my love is irrelevant and I need to move on. Well, today she just started dating that guy she found after breaking up with me, and it pretty much killed me. We're seniors in the same high school, and she found this guy that graduated a couple years back and is currently in college. Yeah. So, I don't know what to do. All I feel is how much I wish I was with her. I'm trying to avoid any texts/calls/contact with her because I know it'll just drive her away. I'm hoping it's a rebound relationship, because she's already dating him two weeks after ending our loving two year relationship. I can't be sure though, because her feelings might have just slowly degraded over the last months while our relationship was going sour and she legitimately might be just happy with this guy. Thing was, we loved each other- I mean we were the couple constantly holding hands falling over each other, that talked about just how much we loved each other and wanted to be together forever, and I just don't think those strong feelings could have vanished so fast and moved onto another guy. Sorry for the length and whatnot, but that's my story. Trust me, I wish I could just move on- I've tried. But it's just so painful, and she pervades my mind no matter what I do. We don't have any classes together, and I only see her for like 10 minutes a day in the homeroom at my school. Any help again, is much appreciated. Thanks.
kwoman99 Posted February 20, 2012 Posted February 20, 2012 I know its hard specially because she was your first love but you need to move on. you are both very young still and still have a lot of growing to do. at your age I felt like I had already grown so much and really realized what I had wanted, but now 4 years later I realize that im still growing. just use this as a learning experience. acknowledge what might have gone wrong with your relationship and use this time to focus on changing it for your next relationship. In the mean time go out and stay busy, its the only way to get over this. time heals all and later on in life if things are meant to be you will find your way back to each other. hang in there!
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