PinkInTheLimo Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 Am I the only one for who this is a dealbreaker? I cannot see me being with a guy who owns a motorcycle, let alone rides one (way too dangerous). I am in contact with a guy via a datingsite. We had several email exchanges and he sounds like a good guy BUT he is a real motorcycle man. It's his passion and he made his job out of it. So the guy breaths motorcycles. He's hinted several times to meet but I think it is useless because I know that I will never be able to accept this motorcycle business. It's so not my world and I don't want anything to do with it. I hate the noise, the smell, the crowd around it and I think it is dangerous and bad for the environment. I mean, I had a boyfriend who loved sailing and although I had never done that in my life, it really appealed to me. I could share it. Or if the guy was a farmer, I also would be interested in it. But motorcycles, NO NO NO. I don't want to waste his time nor mine, so I'll mail him that further contact is useless. It's a pity because it really seems like a good and interesting guy but we are simply not compatibel. Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 MOve on. A lot of girls, myself included, LOVE motor bikes!!!!!!!1 In fact, some girls like guys who are risk takes; will climb a roc face with no rope. My boyfriend rode a motor bike through central America, on the most dangerous roades on the planet. He walked some of themost dangerous streets in the word, and got kidnapped at nice point once. SOme people are risk takes, and there are a lot of women who are also adrenaline junkies. If you cannot even stomach him riding a bike, you are definately not suitable for a long term relationship. The fact he rides bikes, may indicate he is generally more of a risk taker, in other areas in life, which may not sit well with you for you. I do not like my boyfriend doing this behaviour al the time, but I am actually turned on by his risk taking attitude, because it is who he is, part of the whole package. Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 I read the whole post, and have to say, there is NO WAY u will work with this guy, unless it is a one nigth stand or casual affair. U need to take an INTEREST in a guys main passions; HATING the things in life he is the most passionate about, is A DEAL BREAKER. 100% for sure. IT WILL NEVER WORK. Good luck in finding a guy who is more sutied to u:) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author PinkInTheLimo Posted February 20, 2012 Author Share Posted February 20, 2012 U need to take an INTEREST in a guys main passions; HATING the things in life he is the most passionate about, is A DEAL BREAKER. 100% for sure. IT WILL NEVER WORK. Totally agree and vice-versa (I want a guy to take interest in my passions). And yes, I am absolutely not a risk taker and could not be with a risk taking guy. I just regret it because it's been a long time that I had such a good genuine email exchange with a guy on a datingsite. And since there are no other prospects, well, it's back to zero once again. Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 OMG why? I cannot understand this! I LOVE motorbikes! The faster, the better! How can you not like it? I even have my own leathers and helmet. Thankyou you for reminding me to go on OLD and seek out bikers. If you don't want them, I'll gladly go out with them! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 Haha, SAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wow, it it turns me on so much the times I have ridden with my boyfriend on his bike!!!!!!!!!!1 Sugar- my boyfriend is a very experienced rider, made me very horny riding on the back with him, seeing how good of a rider he was... hmm it is a good pre sex thing for me to do with him haha. Please, let some other girl get off over it if u cannot haha 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Branda Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 Once I had the same thing, do not worry everything will work out. Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 Am I the only one for who this is a dealbreaker? I cannot see me being with a guy who owns a motorcycle, let alone rides one (way too dangerous). I am in contact with a guy via a datingsite. We had several email exchanges and he sounds like a good guy BUT he is a real motorcycle man. It's his passion and he made his job out of it. So the guy breaths motorcycles. He's hinted several times to meet but I think it is useless because I know that I will never be able to accept this motorcycle business. It's so not my world and I don't want anything to do with it. I hate the noise, the smell, the crowd around it and I think it is dangerous and bad for the environment. I mean, I had a boyfriend who loved sailing and although I had never done that in my life, it really appealed to me. I could share it. Or if the guy was a farmer, I also would be interested in it. But motorcycles, NO NO NO. I don't want to waste his time nor mine, so I'll mail him that further contact is useless. It's a pity because it really seems like a good and interesting guy but we are simply not compatibel. and you wonder why you are single anything slightly more important than what his hobbies are perhaps? his character? his value system? whether he treats women right? whether he wants kids or not? no, it's about a frikken motorbike. Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 Yes those things are important, but just for once I'd like to date someone who shares The same enthusiasm. It Is a plus. Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 Yes those things are important, but just for once I'd like to date someone who shares The same enthusiasm. It Is a plus. Agreed. Looking for minor and superficial reasons why you CAN'T date someone however is a minus Link to post Share on other sites
Author PinkInTheLimo Posted February 20, 2012 Author Share Posted February 20, 2012 and you wonder why you are single anything slightly more important than what his hobbies are perhaps? his character? his value system? whether he treats women right? whether he wants kids or not? no, it's about a frikken motorbike. If you would have read my opening post carefully, you would have noticed that this is also this man's JOB. In other words, his whole life circles around motorcycles. He collects them, buys them, sells them, races, goes to races. Lives next to his business so it's motorcycles all over the place. It's unavoidable to be confronted with them... Character, value system, whether he treats women right are important but someone's lifestyle is also important! I'm just not the kind of woman who would go to a motorrace, too noisy for me. I admit that I like something more posh like a tennis tournament or a golf tournament. For those who like men on a motorcycle, yes, there are plenty of such guys online, esp. among men over 40... Well, at least there is at least one other woman on the internet who understands me: Dating is Warfare: Motorcycle Men Link to post Share on other sites
Author PinkInTheLimo Posted February 20, 2012 Author Share Posted February 20, 2012 Agreed. Looking for minor and superficial reasons why you CAN'T date someone however is a minus I don't think that having a very different life style is a superficial reason not to date someone. Everyone has to decide for themselves what is important and not. This is important for me so there is no need for you to be so judgemental about it. You are probably still young but if you are my age, you have seen enough relationship break-ups to know that a different lifestyle can seriously jeopardise a relationship. I know what is important for this man and I don't want to have anything to do with it. Link to post Share on other sites
Ninjainpajamas Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 I think you're making the right choice for yourself, in the end that's going to be an area of conflict. Some men are attracted to dangerous things..I'm not sure IF all men who ride motorcycles are that way but I can so for myself, riding a motorcycle makes sense for me...It's right in line with who I am. I've had more personal injuries than I can shake a stick at...and I'm about to get another surgery this coming March. And on top of It I ride a motorcycle (street bike) which will probably leave me killed or another injury, and I accept that and it doesn't scare me...It's hard to explain, but you and I would not be on the same page for example because you're someone who doesn't like to take risks, or put yourself in harms way...I on the other hand run right into with arms wide open! Plus this guy is really into motorcycles, so that just increases the risk. When I go out and ride I get close calls every day practically...I almost got knocked out of my lane on the freeway and a car almost made a left in front me and it was a good thing I was in the far right lane so she had enough time to spot me...and this was very obvious and I was right there, but some people drive distracted and don't motorcycles can blend into the background they're very narrow...that could have been the end of me right there though...do you want to be with someone knowing that? Most people think motorcycles are exciting and the men who ride them as cool/dangerous/sexy...I don't ride for those reasons, I just do **** that's risky and that's just another one of them, it's for myself. Yet I risk my life everyday riding that thing, so it's not so sexy when every bone is broken in your body and you have pins and screws all over the place like I've seen some guys...how sexy is that? I'm rather not be THAT sexy, but it's not my choice If it happens. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author PinkInTheLimo Posted February 20, 2012 Author Share Posted February 20, 2012 I've had more personal injuries than I can shake a stick at...and I'm about to get another surgery this coming March. And on top of It I ride a motorcycle (street bike) which will probably leave me killed or another injury, and I accept that and it doesn't scare me...It's hard to explain, but you and I would not be on the same page for example because you're someone who doesn't like to take risks, or put yourself in harms way...I on the other hand run right into with arms wide open! Well, that guy actually says in his profile that he has quite some scars... Don't know the how and the where but he has done races in the past so it's likely that he hit the ground a couple of times. I get that it gives a kick but it's not my thing, even the guy seems really nice. I have a girlfriend who's single and rides a Dukati, I should set them up... Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 OP I understand. My ex and I talked about this when we were together. her dad rode and Harley and she wanted to get one and learn to ride when she had the money. I didnt like that idea one bit. Obviously I wanted to protect my girl, so the idea of her getting hurt falling of a bike scared the death out of me. If this is a deal breaker for you OP, then so be it. Its cool for you to not want to put yourself in that position. Especially after reading Ninjas post, I definitely hate the risks of riding bikes even more. Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 MOve on. A lot of girls, myself included, LOVE motor bikes!!!!!!!1 In fact, some girls like guys who are risk takes; will climb a roc face with no rope. My boyfriend rode a motor bike through central America, on the most dangerous roades on the planet. He walked some of themost dangerous streets in the word, and got kidnapped at nice point once. SOme people are risk takes, and there are a lot of women who are also adrenaline junkies. If you cannot even stomach him riding a bike, you are definately not suitable for a long term relationship. The fact he rides bikes, may indicate he is generally more of a risk taker, in other areas in life, which may not sit well with you for you. I do not like my boyfriend doing this behaviour al the time, but I am actually turned on by his risk taking attitude, because it is who he is, part of the whole package. Because with this attitude your bf has showed himself to be a guy who really cares about your needs right? =/ Your recent thread would say to me otherwise. Plus, theres far more girls out there who wouldnt date a guy with such a risk taking attitude. Why get close to someone who constantly puts them self in danger of getting killed. People dont enjoy that feeling. Especially if hes dumb enough to travel through Central America alone on a motor bike. Kidnappings on foreigners happen at ridiculous rates in some of those countries and you should always travel in a car. He could easily be bed and hacked up up with a machete. Walking dangerous streets willingly? Smart guy. Luckily I know the type of girl whos attracted to these guys is far from the kind of girl Id find suitable for a LTR, no offense. I just dont see why the OP should feel weird for wanting to date someone whos a little more smart about their safety. Link to post Share on other sites
Author PinkInTheLimo Posted February 20, 2012 Author Share Posted February 20, 2012 Oh no, it's getting worse. On the basis of what I know about him, I found out his family name, googled him and it turns out the guy still participates in races, and what is worse is that following a crash, part of a foot had to be amputated! But he is still doing races!!! And this despite having kids. OK, that makes my decision easier. The guy is nice but he is a moron. I would not automatically refuse dating someone who is wearing a prosthesis but someone who has a prosthesis because he wanted to participate in a stupid motorbike race? No way... Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 ^Id have to agree. Being alive for his children should be his TOP priority. This guy is being selfish. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 There's a bit of a difference between a lawyer who goes for a cruise on Sunday on his beloved Softail and the guy who makes a business out of motorcycles and races bikes, as the gentleman in this thread apparently does. It's a different mindset. I've known both kinds of men over the years and had a close friend who transitioned from racing open-wheel USAC cars to a Harley when he retired from racing to get a more sedate and 'safer' thrill from cruising, sadly losing his sight to diabetes in his 50's. Very different from a guy who rides daily and races and breathes bikes. If motorcycles are a dealbreaker, they are. How do you feel about quads/ATV's, etc? I know a lot of guys/gals who go quad riding at the beach or in the desert and that can be pretty dangerous too, but a lot of fun. Are you averse to physical risks in general, or are there levels of risk which are tolerable? I think it's healthy to clarify that. Myself, being risk-averse, I stick to closed cars at sanctioned tracks with full safety gear. More stuff between me and the guardrail 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author PinkInTheLimo Posted February 20, 2012 Author Share Posted February 20, 2012 Are you averse to physical risks in general, or are there levels of risk which are tolerable? I think it's healthy to clarify that. Myself, being risk-averse, I stick to closed cars at sanctioned tracks with full safety gear. More stuff between me and the guardrail Carhill, thanks for bringing up the word cruising. If it would be cruising and the guy is really nice, I would probably do an effort to accept it. But it's motorcycles all over the place, and especially this racing even after having a serious accident is totally unacceptable for me. I am with you on the "closed cars at sanctioned tracks with full safety gear". And for the record, I don't even have a car. I don't like risk seekers (parachute and bungee jumpers, mountain climbers, motorbikers) but I also don't like people whose idea of fun is to drive a motorised vehicle with a lot of noise in places where they are not supposed to come. I find it childish. I even don't like mountainbikers because they ruin nature. My hobbies are walking, tennis, riding a bike on the street, gastronomy, going to a concert,... I find life exciting enough that way. I am the kind of person who would not do a bungee jump if they offered me 50 million dollars for it . No kidding. Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 It's okay. I think it's mature of you to recognize that what he loves and his lifestyle and yours are not ever going to mesh. It can be very painful and I don't think it EVER works out when one person feels strongly against what the other person's life revolves around. He probably IS very nice - but not your man! Link to post Share on other sites
veggirl Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 and you wonder why you are single anything slightly more important than what his hobbies are perhaps? his character? his value system? whether he treats women right? whether he wants kids or not? no, it's about a frikken motorbike. Oh come on. Motorcycles aren't this guys hobby, they're basically his life. He's probably not gonna want a girl who doesn't like them, anyway. OP I agree with you. It's a dealbreaker for me! I dated a guy with a motorcycle once and he was OBSESSED with it. It was SO annoying. I went on it 2x and was terrified and uninterested. I wouldn't date a guy who's that into them again, ever. As Carhill said, an occasional ride on the weekend--sure (not that I'm gonna go with, and for some reason motorcyclists seem offended when you don't want to participate) but anymore than that is a definite dealbreaker. Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 Oh come on. Motorcycles aren't this guys hobby, they're basically his life. He's probably not gonna want a girl who doesn't like them, anyway. OP I agree with you. It's a dealbreaker for me! I dated a guy with a motorcycle once and he was OBSESSED with it. It was SO annoying. I went on it 2x and was terrified and uninterested. I wouldn't date a guy who's that into them again, ever. As Carhill said, an occasional ride on the weekend--sure (not that I'm gonna go with, and for some reason motorcyclists seem offended when you don't want to participate) but anymore than that is a definite dealbreaker. I don't think that was clear from the original post BUT does this mean anything someone is very passionate about is a dealbreaker? Link to post Share on other sites
Author PinkInTheLimo Posted February 20, 2012 Author Share Posted February 20, 2012 I don't think that was clear from the original post BUT does this mean anything someone is very passionate about is a dealbreaker? Of course not. There's just some activities that don't appeal to me. Also, if a guy makes a particular hobby his number 1 priority, he's not relationship material. The relationship needs to be the number 1 priority. Link to post Share on other sites
veggirl Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 I don't think that was clear from the original post BUT does this mean anything someone is very passionate about is a dealbreaker? Of course not, I'm sure if he was passionate about...gardening or something, OP would be okay with that. I'd be fine with that. I just HATE motorcycles, as does the OP, so that is a dealbreaker. Nothing wrong with that...we all have dealbreakers. Passion in general isn't the issue here, at all. Link to post Share on other sites
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