Leigh 87 Posted February 20, 2012 Posted February 20, 2012 When you fall in love, or start to really like a girl, they become like the most beautiful person to you. On the other hand, at first site, and in the early stages before feelings develope, how many of you have experienced falling for someone, who u were not INITIALLY that attracted to? I was not initially very attracted to my boyfriend, physically speaking; and i recently found out, that he was not immediately that attracted to me. I thought it would hurt him, but he said it does not bother him that I was not initially that attracted to him. He says he is mroe concerned with his pesonality, and how cool I thought he was as a person. Over time, we have BOTH grown to view the other as VERY ATTRACTIVE. I see him as VERY attractive to me. HE IS actually a VERY GOOD LOOKING GUY!!! I just did not see it at first!!!! He has also seen me as much mroe attracted, the more he has gotten to like me. Of course some attraction has to be there. My boyfriend was attracted to me, but he did not find my face immediately beautiful. I am not conventioally and universally attractive, because I have a crooked nose, and not the small, girly one that is innately desired and feminine ( although it is not big and thick and that bad. Just not " good" and cute) My boyfriend, when I ASKED him to tell me ( and he was very reluctant to talk about it), confessed " I did not immediately have a great first impression, t due to the fact u had huge social issues ( I had been through a very hard time in life), I demonstrated undesirable social behaviour, such as - not looking him in the eyes - had a strange, nervous smile - was not at ease being around people. It showed. - did not have much of a soul. Sad, but true. I didn't. I had come out of a hard time in life, and had social deviations that would put a lot of people off. however, he said " I could see u had an absolutely stunning body, great hair, clear skin, and u were good looking to me. I just was not blown away by your face, since u gave off a socially abhorant, weird vibe". " as I got to know u, I did find u to be much better looking, because u did, after all, not come across attractive, based on your attitude. If you came across differently, I probably would have viewed u as very attractive straight up." This makes sense, as I do realize it is the impression a women gives off thruogh her PERSONALITY, the confidence she gives off, how happy and positive her attitude is... these ALL factor in to attractivness. OF COURSE, the attraction has to still BE there; a wonderul attitude will have guys admire u, but they will not think your beautiful phsyically, unless SOME attraction is there. It comes down to something I have always known: how u act, and the ind of person u are, can make an average/slightly attractive girl, LOOK more appealing then a slightly MORe attractive girl. ALTHOUGH: it will not make a 5 ot 6 out of 10, look like a 9 out of 10. however, a confident, positive, smiling, 6 out of ten, can perhaps look as attractive as an 8 out of 10, if they have a great attitude and energy about them. bacially: his first impression, of my f acial attrctivness, was not that great. He said how I acted, is what played the biggest part. He said " if a girl is confident, and gives off a certain image, she comes across as a fun, happy person, then I will see her as very attractive: mroe so than perhaps a mroe attractive girl, with a bad demenour" SO. He did find certain things about me attractive. I did have stunning body, literally his 100%, ideal type shape etc.. but facially, he did not think I was " very attractive" at first. ANy one else have stories, of how the person they first met was nto instantly beautiful to them, but BECAME attractive after they fell in love?
Author Leigh 87 Posted February 20, 2012 Author Posted February 20, 2012 By the way - I want to be a sex and relationship councellor, after I study at Uni.. hence my interest in making threads, about anhy experience I go through. I really enjoy and want to know other peopls experiences, perspectives, views on all things love and relationship.
Star Gazer Posted February 20, 2012 Posted February 20, 2012 By the way - I want to be a sex and relationship councellor, after I study at Uni.. Leigh, have you considered going to one yourself? You're quite troubled, and I think you could benefit a great deal from seeing a professional.
Author Leigh 87 Posted February 20, 2012 Author Posted February 20, 2012 of course - I am going to see one, seeing as I want to be one myself. Best way to learn, in my opinion. In my other thread, I explain what i want sexually, and a lot of people put my tastes and desires down to me being TROUBLED? I wish people knew, how before i became troubled, i always wanted to have 3 somes and be very adventerous in bed, before " settling down" with a guy. Let me clear this up: being monogomas has never been something I have wanted, until I settle down and start a family. SO - do not mistake my sexual adventerous desires, as me being troubled. The troubled side of me has nothing to do with my sexual preferences ( as I always had them long before becming troubled). I am troubled, and it has severely impacted my relationship, of course. I wish u would answer my question, though. It is a topic that interests me.... I mean, surely only really attractive people get the guy to view them as ' WOW holy cow thet are beautiful". ..Where as MOST people are only seen as beautiful, after the guy falls in love? I do not think love at first site happens for most people... although, being physically beautiful, as in, 9 or 10 our of ten, CAN make a guy THINK he has fallen in love..
Author Leigh 87 Posted February 20, 2012 Author Posted February 20, 2012 Wouldn't that just multiply her insanity? ... so wanting 3 somes, and wanting my boyfriend to see hookers makes me insane? to be honest, I find monogomy and settling down as very boring to me, at this stage in my life...... and yes, those who know and like me do say I am insane, but in a good way ( in terms of socialising with my friends). I am a very fun person. I am different and am happy about it. So long as I get my underlying personal issues sorted out, I laugh when ppl call me insane... because I view less crazy people as boring.
Author Leigh 87 Posted February 20, 2012 Author Posted February 20, 2012 yes I am very strange, but I am comfortable with that. It endears those who see to know me and makes the people that do enjoy me, love being around me, their crazy friend:) I do want to add that my boyfriends tells me I am beautiful to him allt he time, he always tells me I look good, and always assues me, without me asking him, that I am very sexy to him, and that he is so glad he has me, looks and personality wise. It is just INITIALLY, when he first met me, the impression I gave off hindered him finding me attractive. Obviously, he was attracted enough to me to kiss me, but he was not blown away with my facial features.
Author Leigh 87 Posted February 20, 2012 Author Posted February 20, 2012 Just to elaborate on the " crazy" tag I have been given.. I am crazy, in that I send friends random texts ( random words, or whatever weirs thougth pops into my mind)... however, I am not crazy in that: for instance, when I start seeing a guy, I will not be overzealous and call or text him incessantly, or anything freaky... Ya know. I willc al them after they call me, with the occasional texts to show them I am into them.... none of that crazy stalker bullsh*t. i actually think I know the right way to go about handling men I fiirst see... I do like to show them I am interested and not keep the poor guy guessing, but I am never over the top, either. I believe there are good crazy and bad crazy. I am messed up, in my own head, and havd personal issues I need to address... but I think I have enough self awareness, in real life at least , to not come across crazy, unless it is to ppl who want crazy and like strange peopel. I keep my cool and put my boring normal hat on, to everyone, until I get to knwo them and know for sure they like strange people.
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