who_knew Posted February 20, 2012 Posted February 20, 2012 This may seem pretty childish, but I guess I'm afraid of girls. I'm ****ing 19, why should I be? I just get very nervous around attractive girls, not so much mediocre girls to my standards but anyone that is sexually attractive. I usually open up over time, but it's really been bugging me that I'm not good friends with any girls. My first ever relationship with a girl ended about a month ago and I'm still pretty depressed about it and I want to be more confident around women again. I felt like it was a fluke that I even was able to have a relationship. I'm not saying I'm unattractive and I won't lie I think I'm a fairly attractive young man, but my shyness over powers that. I want to be able to meet new girls as friends and not have them just as aquantinces, but build up long lasting friendships with them. I want to have girls that I hang out with and that want to hang out with me. I want girls as friends that i can talk to and text. I've never continuously texted a girl other than with my ex. Maybe I'm just boring to them. I feel like I change my personality and become more bland when I talk to a girl because I just get all nervous and I want them to think im interesting, but I end up just being really shy. I go to an engineering school where the girl to guy ratio is 1:3. It sucks and I just feel so introverted that it makes it much worse. I'd say I'm in the better looking portion of the guys here, but I still haven't figured out how to start and continue ongoing conversations with them. I don't think of myself as a boring person, i actually do a variety of things that I'm proud of, but I obviously don't want to bring those up as a convo topic right away. I'm not a naturally funny guy and I find it hard to keep a conversation going with not jus girls but a lot of people. I keep thinking I have a social problem, but I think im just a quiet person. Ever since breaking up with my girlfriend who was a very extroverted person I've wanted to become more outgoing. I just don't know how? Any help?
riverman Posted February 29, 2012 Posted February 29, 2012 Sometimes in life we are lucky but eventually a time comes where we have to make our own luck. Basically just force yourself to leave your comfort zone,talk to girls who are 9 and 10s,it's gonna seem awkward but just push thru it and eventually things will click. Getting to know more people and increase your social circle. Admire a women beaty but don't let it overwhelm you. Also if you fail so what try 100 more times. Trust me man do this now b.c at your age getting girls is simple as you get odler things are more complicated. Try flirting with random girls or start small have a little convo,even if your not super smooth the girls will admire your confidence . Look in to joining something outside of school that involves girls or pick up at part time job at some retail store. Find a wing man to go out with and guide you. That cool girl friend you had probably seen good things in you, if you don't put yourself out there who gonna notice you. It's hard but simple like I said,leave you comfort zone and just be friendly with attractive girls. Try not over thing it too much,as time passes it will come along better. Man enjoy being young,flirt and have fun,the girls will come. I wish could go back to being 19 with the mind set I have now.
InBloom Posted February 29, 2012 Posted February 29, 2012 when I was your age, I made an effort to Not treat female friends any different than I would guy friends and we would do more things together on a friend level. They seemed to be more comfortable around me and i felt that maybe it was because I wasn't being different or acting so nervous around them or treating them different just because they were a girl. I think some girls like that. I'd get nervous around totally gorgeous girls too, but I'd try to treat them normal and pal around with them just as i would my guy friends. It shows confidence
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