Saraswati57 Posted February 20, 2012 Posted February 20, 2012 I'm referring to sexual and "romantic" relationships, and the question is in the title. It seems after a certain age, a person transforms into something ill-desired by most people: an inexperienced and insecure fumbler. Sad thing is, the latter is somewhat justified. (Bleh, forgot question mark in title).
Author Saraswati57 Posted February 20, 2012 Author Posted February 20, 2012 (edited) 59 views and no replies, eh? (excluding mine). Why does silence say so much? Edited February 20, 2012 by Saraswati57
fortyninethousand322 Posted February 20, 2012 Posted February 20, 2012 I feel this way all the time. So I feel ya. 1
Author Saraswati57 Posted February 20, 2012 Author Posted February 20, 2012 Well, thanks for replying, at least.
verhrzn Posted February 20, 2012 Posted February 20, 2012 The answer are, it depends. The good news is, if you're a guy (and I assume you are), guys have a very long shelf life. As you get older, you have the distinct advantage of not having the baggage of men around you... ex-wife, kids, etc. As far as having not a lot of dating or sexual experience, I honestly don't think it's as big a deal for guys as the culture may make it out to be. Try this article: Performance Anxiety | Paging Dr. NerdLove I think it'll make you feel less alone, and take some pressure off the idea that inexperience in males is a deal-breaker.
Mrlonelyone Posted February 20, 2012 Posted February 20, 2012 No. Its just a matter of finding the right people. Those who have more relationships don't necessarily have better relationships.
fortyninethousand322 Posted February 20, 2012 Posted February 20, 2012 Just curious but how old are you OP?
carhill Posted February 20, 2012 Posted February 20, 2012 Those who have more relationships don't necessarily have better relationships. My experience tends to reflect this, though I do feel more opportunities bring more potential for a healthy relationship. What I look for, irrespective of romantic/sexual 'experience', is the person's ability to form and maintain healthy family and platonic relationships. Such dynamics require the same relationship skills necessary to maintain/build healthy romantic relationships, save for the dynamics surrounding sex and romance. What if they are a 'fumbling lover'? Well, they know how to learn from and compromise in relationships, so there can be an expiration date on their fumbling. An old 'dog' can always learn new tricks
Cracker Jack Posted February 20, 2012 Posted February 20, 2012 I think it's normal to feel hopeless about love and relationships when you've reached a certain age where nothing has gone well for you in that area. However, I don't believe it has to stay that way, so you don't have to embrace hopelessness! All it takes is meeting that one person, or working rigorously to change your situation. I've seen it happen, and I'm looking forward to making it happen myself. You can, too.
Author Saraswati57 Posted February 20, 2012 Author Posted February 20, 2012 Just curious but how old are you OP? 26, going on 27 soon. Checking for an expiration date?
Mrlonelyone Posted February 20, 2012 Posted February 20, 2012 My experience tends to reflect this, though I do feel more opportunities bring more potential for a healthy relationship. What I look for, irrespective of romantic/sexual 'experience', is the person's ability to form and maintain healthy family and platonic relationships. That's so true. I have never known someone who was really good in their romantic relationships who was not also good to have as a friend. This is why all the important romantic relationships I have had were with people I can count has being/having been friends. I wonder why so many people find that idea odd? Such dynamics require the same relationship skills necessary to maintain/build healthy romantic relationships, save for the dynamics surrounding sex and romance. What if they are a 'fumbling lover'? Well, they know how to learn from and compromise in relationships, so there can be an expiration date on their fumbling. An old 'dog' can always learn new tricks
Author Saraswati57 Posted February 20, 2012 Author Posted February 20, 2012 Good points, I'll respond later in more detail when I'm actually fully conscious.
goldengirl11 Posted February 20, 2012 Posted February 20, 2012 I feel I struggle with assertiveness, which has been remarked on in a previous bad relationship, also my last job in customer service which didn't work out. I'm 33 and it made me sick that a 23 yr old dolly team manager was telling me that! Her answer was that I should pretend to be! As for fumbling, if you feel comfortable with that person and they make you feel at ease then I don't think there should be any fumbling! I sympathise though as feel we are in similar position on the whole.
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