amberq Posted February 20, 2012 Posted February 20, 2012 (edited) A friend told a mutual friend about a seedy shameful experience I had. I feel really betrayed, like it was none of her business to tell anybody. I know we all make mistakes, but I do not need this being spread around. Shall I confront her? The problem is that I don't want to make a fuss, or cause an arguement. In fact, there's nothing in particular I want from her by telling her (don't want an apology, don't want her to feel guilty, don't want her to think i'm never trusting her again etc). But it would make me feel better, and surely it can't be good to resent someone secretly? Edited February 20, 2012 by amberq
pie2 Posted February 20, 2012 Posted February 20, 2012 I don't think a confrontation is really the best you don't want to cause a fuss...but I would definitely have a conversation with her. Just stay relaxed and as upbeat as possible, letting her know that you would like to keep that story private from here on. Had you told your friend to keep the information private? You shouldn't even have to tell her not gossip about your business, but if you ever trust her again in the future with very private information, I would just offer a reminder that it's just between you and her. I hope you get it resolved...she probably didn't mean to hurt you, but just spoke without thinking. It's happened to all of us, and I know I have accidently said things without thinking too.
The Outlaw Posted February 21, 2012 Posted February 21, 2012 You at least need to sit down with her and discuss what happened with her. Yeah, you're right, it's nobody's business what happened, but she needs to know that so it won't happen again.
whichwayisup Posted February 21, 2012 Posted February 21, 2012 A friend told a mutual friend about a seedy shameful experience I had. I feel really betrayed, like it was none of her business to tell anybody. I know we all make mistakes, but I do not need this being spread around. Shall I confront her? The problem is that I don't want to make a fuss, or cause an arguement. In fact, there's nothing in particular I want from her by telling her (don't want an apology, don't want her to feel guilty, don't want her to think i'm never trusting her again etc). But it would make me feel better, and surely it can't be good to resent someone secretly? Yes, speak up and tell this so called friend that you're hurt, angry and feel betrayed by them, that you trusted them and they didn't use common sense and good everyday judgement - Meaning they should have KNOWN what it was you told them was private and personal and not to say a word to anybody! Just show this friend your pain and how they need to be more careful and respect people's privacy and personal issues.
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