dandilion Posted February 19, 2012 Posted February 19, 2012 I was seeing a guy for just over 3 months- i realise this is hardly any length of time at all- but during this period i grew to really like him. We met through mutual friends in a bar, and at for the first 2 months i had no doubt in my mind how he felt. He told his parents about me pretty soon, always wanted to know when he could next see me, he would text/call, and we could spend hours together just hanging out. Sounds silly but it really felt like it could go somewhere. Then for no apparent, he completely put the breaks on I would suddenly be the one to chase him, he would take ages to text back, and he just didn't seem as bothered about meeting up. He has a really stressful job so i know this came into it but it was upsetting that he wasn't acting as keen as before. I messaged him asking if we were still cool and he said he had genuinely been busy, that he liked hanging out with me and wanted to keep it that way. By the 3 month stage i felt like i wanted to know where things were going...one evening we started having 'The Chat' and i asked him if, at the stage we were at, he would get with anyone else (to which he said no). I said I wanted to be able to see him more than once every 2 weeks, which is what we had been doing (we live in different towns). He said he didn't want to disappoint me if he couldn't meet up any more than that because of work etc (hmmm). He also dropped into the convo later that he liked spending time with me but didn't want a gf as he'd been really messed up by his last relationship (this is something he'd mentioned before, and we have a mutual friend who had also told me about it). That same evening i made the decision to end things based on the fact he didn't want a gf, and the fact he'd cooled off a bit lately. We didn't argue or anything, it was just quite sad. That was just after new year and i haven't heard from him since I kind of thought i would have done....i've missed him a lot and had hoped that if he'd missed me he would have got in touch even just to see how i was doing? One of the last things he asked was if i would respond if he got in touch, to which i said yes. But no contact yet...Now i'm not sure if i've made a mistake by trying to tie him down too quickly when i just should have let things develop more naturally?? Especially as his last gf messed him about...I can't help feeling if i'd just chilled out a bit we could have still had something going on, as we enjoyed eachothers company a lot. Sooo, if you've made it to the end of this you have the absolute patience of a saint and i thank you! I realise 3 months is not a big deal at all, but i really like(d) him. Any ideas on the next step? Do you think he'll get in touch, or would want to hear from me if i contacted him? Cheers
CaliBabe Posted February 19, 2012 Posted February 19, 2012 I personally would not contact as he is clearly asking for some space. Respect him and give that to him. If he really wanted to hear or talk to you he would have reached out. He did not want to work on the relationship while you did which is all the more reason you need to let him come to you.
Recommended Posts