darkmoon Posted February 19, 2012 Posted February 19, 2012 why do men ask this? what do they want to know for? i think it's bad to go over the past myself I have never asked a guy, not been concerned, but i have a feeling that if i agree to go out with a guy i know his friend will expect me to tell him. feel got at with no answer to give that will be ok
ascendotum Posted February 19, 2012 Posted February 19, 2012 Trust me women ask this too. They want to know how stable you are in relationships or how promiscuous you were in the past. You might not think its a big deal if you have sucked 45 c**ks before you hooked up with current bf, because the past is the past, but he will if he is serious about you (well not all guys, but I expect most will). I don't get why you say, you say "feel got at with no answer to give that will be ok". There is ok answers to this question. Why do you have a high sex partner count? (also what some guys will consider too many others wont). If you were to tell the truth, which most women here say you should always, what would you say?
turt Posted February 19, 2012 Posted February 19, 2012 Why is it such as bad thing to share? As for me, I wouldn't want to be with a woman that's been with a ton of guys just to have sex. It shows that you may be less capable of creating a relationship and it's unsanitary.
gaius Posted February 19, 2012 Posted February 19, 2012 He doesn't really want to know. Just be vague about it and keep the number on the low end if he absolutely demands to know.
Author darkmoon Posted February 19, 2012 Author Posted February 19, 2012 the boyf's friend does not like me, so am v. nervous of being ok, not been dating for a while. i don't think what's gone on in my knickers his business because i'm not his girl but would understand the heart-to-heart talk a boyf might need but minus the details of any exes' sexual performance - a cruel topic imho his friend does not like me, he's made it plain
turt Posted February 19, 2012 Posted February 19, 2012 the boyf's friend does not like me, so am v. nervous of being ok, not been dating for a while. i don't think what's gone on in my knickers his business because i'm not his girl but would understand the heart-to-heart talk a boyf might need but minus the details of any exes' sexual performance - a cruel topic imho his friend does not like me, he's made it plain It's none of the friend's business so don't worry about it.
alphamale Posted February 19, 2012 Posted February 19, 2012 why do men ask this? because we triple what her answer is...if she says 6 it means 18
carhill Posted February 19, 2012 Posted February 19, 2012 why do men ask this? That's a great question to ask them in the moment. Try it next time Myself, I've never asked it that way. I ask 'have you been married?' or 'what do feel has been your most meaningful romantic relationship?' or similar.
FrustratedStandards Posted February 19, 2012 Posted February 19, 2012 because we triple what her answer is...if she says 6 it means 18 Not true. Some women are honest and don't have many sex partners at all. You shouldn't generalize this way.
ThatDudeXO Posted February 19, 2012 Posted February 19, 2012 It might be an ego thing. No one wants something a bunch of other people have already had. If I was ever serious about someone, I wouldn't want to be number 25 or something. I take sex more serious than most people my age, so who I have sex with will have had an important role in my life. I don't want to be with someone who just has sex with someone because they liked the look of them.
FrustratedStandards Posted February 19, 2012 Posted February 19, 2012 hahahahahaaha In that case, good luck finding a woman who hasn't been around the neighborhood
Author darkmoon Posted February 19, 2012 Author Posted February 19, 2012 i do not like promiscuity too unhygenic (sorry if that's sounds miserable) so do I say to the frind that's none of his business?
Ashleymisseshim Posted February 19, 2012 Posted February 19, 2012 This is because very few people would date someone that's been on the block during their youth. However, if the guy has been having multiple sex in the past then I don't see how is it really fair for him to still demand an woman with very low partners or pure woman?I think if you want a decent person with low partners then be decent yourself too. I hate that double standard when it comes to sex. It makes me so mad.
Ross MwcFan Posted February 19, 2012 Posted February 19, 2012 i do not like promiscuity too unhygenic (sorry if that's sounds miserable) so do I say to the frind that's none of his business? Promiscuity has nothing to do with hygene.
ascendotum Posted February 19, 2012 Posted February 19, 2012 the boyf's friend does not like me, so am v. nervous of being ok, not been dating for a while. i don't think what's gone on in my knickers his business because i'm not his girl but would understand the heart-to-heart talk a boyf might need but minus the details of any exes' sexual performance - a cruel topic imho his friend does not like me, he's made it plain If I'm reading this right, then its your bf's friend who is asking you this question. If so, tell him its none of his frikken business or mess with him and say somehting like, you stopped counting after 70, it was hard to keep accurate track of how many there was when you were drunk.
Author darkmoon Posted February 19, 2012 Author Posted February 19, 2012 I say to the friend - tell him it's not your business?? blurt it out??
KathyM Posted February 19, 2012 Posted February 19, 2012 First off, it's none of this "friend's" business about your past sex life. As for the guy who is dating you, it's a fair question to ask. People want to get to know who you are, where you've been, what your attitudes are about a variety of subjects, to see if you are a match, or someone with similar or compatible attitudes. Without giving an actual number, which seems kind of crass, you could say something more general, such as "just a few", or "I've had some", or "I've had a fair amount of experience", or something along those lines. If you don't say anything, he'll probably assume it's a lot more than what it really is.
kaylan Posted February 19, 2012 Posted February 19, 2012 A good predictor of future behavior is past behavior. It makes us who we are today. Luckily I have no need to hide my past from chicks.
Author darkmoon Posted February 19, 2012 Author Posted February 19, 2012 First off, it's none of this "friend's" business about your past sex life. As for the guy who is dating you, it's a fair question to ask. People want to get to know who you are, where you've been, what your attitudes are about a variety of subjects, to see if you are a match, or someone with similar or compatible attitudes. Without giving an actual number, which seems kind of crass, you could say something more general, such as "just a few", or "I've had some", or "I've had a fair amount of experience", or something along those lines. If you don't say anything, he'll probably assume it's a lot more than what it really is. which?? I was racy in my youth but not now at all, but racy was the truth, was, but am not like that now though racy is frowned upon but i see what you mean - vague to the friend, polite but vacuous
kaylan Posted February 19, 2012 Posted February 19, 2012 He doesn't really want to know. Just be vague about it and keep the number on the low end if he absolutely demands to know. If you tell him, dont listen to this advice and lie. Because if the guy has any way of ever finding out differently than what you have told him, youll be screwed because of the lie. Not because of the number. If it was me, Id rather a chick be honest and a bit promiscuous, than a liar who was promiscuous. At least I can trust the former.
ascendotum Posted February 19, 2012 Posted February 19, 2012 I say to the friend - tell him it's not your business?? blurt it out?? Yes! Its not his business...full stop! Shoot him a dirty look when he does it next, and ask him does he audit all his mate's gfs in regards to their past. Get narky with him if he pesters you about this. Ask him what numbers the other have given and did he approve of them + their answers. Just avoid giving him an answer which he is not entitled to.
kaylan Posted February 19, 2012 Posted February 19, 2012 OP, you are entitled to tell, the same way hes entitled not to date you based on that. Ive been around enough to know that girls who are secretive about their past are bad news. Id trust someone more who can be open and honest with me.
mickleb Posted February 19, 2012 Posted February 19, 2012 It's none of his friend's business, whatsoever, so, yes, just tell him to hush. I agree that a non-specific answer is probably best. Just say 'Well I'm not a virgin, if that's what you mean. ' It's probably more valuable that he learns a little about your previous relationships than your 'number' but if you don't want to talk much about that, again - it's up to you. If you like the guy, try not to worry about it too much. If he presses you for more info than you're happy to give, or is more concerned about numbers than how you are with him, he's not worth much anyway.
kaylan Posted February 19, 2012 Posted February 19, 2012 (edited) i do not like promiscuity too unhygenic (sorry if that's sounds miserable) so do I say to the frind that's none of his business? If you think this, then why are you too ashamed to answer the question about how many people you have slept with. Someone whos promiscuous wouldnt say what you did there. And some who wasnt promiscuous wouldnt have an issue sharing their sexual past. In my experience, its the slutty gals who want to be seen as good girls, who have an issue with this question. A girl I slept with in the past had a rep, and would say her rep was simply based on people talking crap for no reason. She made me think the rep she had was unfounded, but when I found out some things about her she sure did deserve her reputation. Either way, I say people should own their actions. Dont be ashamed of it. If I had been with fifty women, I wouldnt be ashamed to admit it. I wouldnt be ashamed if I had only been with 2 women either.This is because very few people would date someone that's been on the block during their youth. However, if the guy has been having multiple sex in the past then I don't see how is it really fair for him to still demand an woman with very low partners or pure woman?I think if you want a decent person with low partners then be decent yourself too. I hate that double standard when it comes to sex. It makes me so mad. Agree with this. No one should judge others by a standard higher than what they judge themself. Otherwise its just hypocrisy and bs. Edited February 19, 2012 by kaylan
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