Herpes or Marijuana

[Soxfaninfl]

I'm the original poster. The reason I posed this question is the following.

 

I've been dating my girlfriend for a year now. She was up front with me that she had herpes, yes genital, but I really liked her so I continued with her and was willing to take the risk and deal with the inherent sexual limitations.

 

My daughter recently turned 18 and I decided I wanted to revisit my youth and have a little fun on my downtime so I bought a little bag. I never do it around the girlfriend, she never has to deal with any of it. I returned her honesty with honesty of my own and told her about it, I could have easily hid it indefinitely. However she has left me now because of it.

 

I'm just feeling a little slammed because I accepted her, faults and all, and now she isn't doing the same for me. I was just hoping she would stick with me as I did with her. The herpes has far more actual effect on the relationship than the drug use, but that's my opinion. On the other hand, I acknowledge that what I'm doing is by choice whereby she is not choosing to live with her infection, she has no choice.

 

It seemed like an even trade to me, but I also have to respect her decision about what's right for her.

 

You were doing an illegal drug. You could have gotten her in trouble with the law if you both got busted. Herpes won't send you to prison.

[xxoo]

It seemed like an even trade to me, but I also have to respect her decision about what's right for her.

 

Ah, I see. Yes, you have to respect her decision.

 

It kind of sounds like you think she should tolerate more, because she is damaged goods. Fair?

[kaylan]

No, I'm trying to educate the ignorant. Clearly, I'm failing.

Educate me on what?

 

You are simply trying to force me into the belief that I must accept dating someone who has a disease I dont want. Im not trying to tell you to date pot heads am I? I simply said thats your call and left it be.

 

But look at how you go on?

 

 

 

I asked you a question. How does it harm your health? Please answer that question.

If your body has to create antibodies to fight it off than thats an adverse affect to your health. I dont want rashes for life, nor to potentially have to take medication to suppress a disease. Why is that an issue?

 

I don't know why you're getting all crazy about this. I didn't start this thread. I merely answered the question. It's a no-brainer to me. I'd NEVER date a pot smoker. Period. Someone with herpes is entirely different. Would I date any old person with herpes? No, because I wouldn't date any old person. But I would date an amazing, awesome person with herpes. No question.

How am I getting crazy. I simply started this is a stupid comparison and gave the logical reason for why thats so.

 

You cannot compare an incurable disease to the use of a soft drug. You can stop using drugs, but you cannot stop having herpes. Simple.

 

Why dont we compare drugs to drugs, and StDs to STDs. Thatd make more sense.

 

You wouldnt date a pot smoker period, and im ok with that. But Im getting beef because id never date someone with an incurable STD? Get the fudge outta here with that mess.

 

 

How about you, Mr. Continuing to Post Repeatedly About This?

 

You're clearly uneducated about STDs and their inherent risks, and one of the people who's terrified of HSV based on it's stigma rather than what it actually is. Oh well. Have a nice day.

Im simply replying to those who respond to me. So it is what it is.

 

Im the uneducated one huh? Ms "I dont date pot smokers because they all act like fools"....but IM uneducated? Riiiiight:rolleyes:

 

Im not terrified of stigma. I just dont want a disease that I cant get rid of. Simple. You have a nice day as well.

Huh? Why would anyone on LS need to "deal" with your issues or decisions? You're the one who has to deal with your skin problems.

Im telling the poster to deal with the fact of life that some deal breakers exclude him from some folks dating pool.

 

I dont fit into everyones dating pool either.

 

The fact that this dude is getting so bent out of shape because I dont want to take on another skin issue is freaking silly.

 

I cant stand having to tweeze ingrown hairs or having to do an exact specific shaving ritual right to the T in order to avoid them.

 

Excuse me for wanting to not have a rash on my junk and have another skin issue.

[Star Gazer]

I have no problem with your dealbreaker.

 

I just question the antibody and health argument if you (general you) aren't equally vigilant about avoiding people with HSV1 (cold sores). Over 50% of the US population carries that virus! That would make dating pretty tough

 

Right. The scientific reality is that most people are asymptomatic, the virus causes no real health problems for a vast majority of people (and for those that do, it's mental health/depression), and a vast majority (around 90%) of the Earth's population carries HSV-1, 2, or both.

[Soxfaninfl]

I have no problem with your dealbreaker.

 

I just question the antibody and health argument if you (general you) aren't equally vigilant about avoiding people with HSV1 (cold sores). Over 50% of the US population carries that virus! That would make dating pretty tough

 

25% of adults that have it don't know that they have it. Hell the girl that gave it to me didn't even know she had it. She had never had an out break.

[kaylan]

LMAO you don't know what your taking about!!! You have it ass backwards!

learn to freaking read. Please

 

I said in a minority of cases the diseases will present themselves in the area that they dont normally show up in.

 

Thats a fact.

[Star Gazer]

Educate me on what?

 

You are simply trying to force me into the belief that I must accept dating someone who has a disease I dont want. Im not trying to tell you to date pot heads am I? I simply said thats your call and left it be.

 

I'm not trying to force you into any belief. I was trying to educate you on the facts of inherent risks involved in having sex with anyone, including protected sex with someone holding a negative test result who purports to be a virgin.

 

But look at how you go on?

 

Mmm, okay. The proof is in the pudding...

 

Good luck to you, K.

[problemguy]

You were doing an illegal drug. You could have gotten her in trouble with the law if you both got busted. Herpes won't send you to prison.

 

The formulation I purchased is new. It is not illegal, (yet) and is not on the DEA's banned list from 2011. There is no legal risk to either of us unless I am driving which is no different than alcohol. I don't drink and drive either.

[kaylan]

Yup. I wouldn't date someone with nasty ingrown hairs. That's the breaks kid.

Lmao, good for you...my ingrown hairs arent even detectable to the eye, but I can feel them myself.

 

Guess how I stop them? Growing a beard. So I can be rid of them, unlike herpes.

 

But I do see what you were trying to do with your juvenile response.

[Soxfaninfl]

learn to freaking read. Please

 

HSV1 is cold sores of the mouth. HSV2 is genital herpes. You have it backwards. Look at what you wrote???

[problemguy]

Ah, I see. Yes, you have to respect her decision.

 

It kind of sounds like you think she should tolerate more, because she is damaged goods. Fair?

 

Yes that is what I'm thinking, but I don't really know if it is fair.

[Soxfaninfl]

The formulation I purchased is new. It is not illegal, (yet) and is not on the DEA's banned list from 2011. There is no legal risk to either of us unless I am driving which is no different than alcohol. I don't drink and drive either.

 

Weed is illegal and you can get arrested for it if your caught with it. My brother in law was arrested for it because he had it in his possession.

[kaylan]

I'm not trying to force you into any belief. I was trying to educate you on the facts of inherent risks involved in having sex with anyone, including protected sex with someone holding a negative test result who purports to be a virgin.

 

 

 

Mmm, okay. The proof is in the pudding...

 

Good luck to you, K.

Oh purports to be a virgin? Ok ok.

 

You are educating me on risks...but I am asking you simple questions about what risks thered be with someone who has multiple negative tests over years of time, or is a virgin on top of that.

 

All your reasoning has been, is an attempt to say to me that I should date someone who definitely has a disease because the person whos been shown to not have this disease, may in fact have it based on your assertion that the negative tests were screw ups or inaccurate. Thats stupid reasoning.

 

I guess I should just start sleep with people who currently have gono and clap too huh? I mean because their test results MUST be false positives then...right?

[xxoo]

Yes that is what I'm thinking, but I don't really know if it is fair.

 

I think she will be better off with a man who doesn't think of her as damaged goods.

 

She did the right thing to break up.

[Star Gazer]

I'm the original poster. The reason I posed this question is the following.

 

I've been dating my girlfriend for a year now. She was up front with me that she had herpes, yes genital, but I really liked her so I continued with her and was willing to take the risk and deal with the inherent sexual limitations.

 

My daughter recently turned 18 and I decided I wanted to revisit my youth and have a little fun on my downtime so I bought a little bag. I never do it around the girlfriend, she never has to deal with any of it. I returned her honesty with honesty of my own and told her about it, I could have easily hid it indefinitely. However she has left me now because of it.

 

I'm just feeling a little slammed because I accepted her, faults and all, and now she isn't doing the same for me. I was just hoping she would stick with me as I did with her. The herpes has far more actual effect on the relationship than the drug use, but that's my opinion. On the other hand, I acknowledge that what I'm doing is by choice whereby she is not choosing to live with her infection, she has no choice.

 

It seemed like an even trade to me, but I also have to respect her decision about what's right for her.

 

No, it's not an even trade at all.

 

She has a skin condition. It's part of who she is. She cannot change it. It is not something she does or chooses to do every day. It's no different than if she had some other condition, or any other aspect of her person.

 

Smoking pot, on the other hand, is a choice, and it's currently an illegal activity. Most people's behavior changes when they're high on pot. Many people find pot smoking very unattractive because of the smell and how it changes your personality.

 

As xxoo said, it sounds to me like you want her to tolerate your poor behavior because you see her as damaged or less worthy of a complete relationship partner. What's next? Expect her to tolerate cheating?

[kaylan]

I have no problem with your dealbreaker.

 

I just question the antibody and health argument if you (general you) aren't equally vigilant about avoiding people with HSV1 (cold sores). Over 50% of the US population carries that virus! That would make dating pretty tough

And your point? Black people make 13% of the American population, and many black women only date within their race.

 

Theres still enough people to have dates with right?

 

Despite any preferences most people have, theres enough folks out there that Im not struggling to enjoy my dating life.

 

And who says I was not equally vigilant about avoiding HSV 1.

[Star Gazer]

I think she will be better off with a man who doesn't think of her as damaged goods.

 

She did the right thing to break up.

 

Agreed, 100%.

[problemguy]

I've enjoyed the spirited debate. Thank you for helping me to understand her side of the story.

[kaylan]

HSV1 is cold sores of the mouth. HSV2 is genital herpes. You have it backwards. Look at what you wrote???

Yes, why dont we look at what I wrote.

 

They differ only in the areas they generally affect. However in a minority of cases they will infect the other viruses general target area...ie...HSV 1 in the groin, HSV 2 on the mouth. But as I said, a minority of cases but possible.

 

The reason genital herpes is more feared is obviously because of its area and possibly even frequency of outbreaks.

 

Either way, as someone who has neither, I aint starting now. I dont see why some folks have such an issue with this deal breaker. Its no different than drugs, body type, or anything else. Actually it is different because its about ones own personal health...so people shouldnt get upset if someone wants to avoid it.

 

Maybe I DONT WANT a skin problem...did you think about that?

 

I already deal with acne as an adult. And I deal with ingrown hairs when I shave because I am black and have super curly hair. I DONT WANT ANY OTHER SKIN ISSUES. Deal with it.

I said in a MINORITY of cases each virus will affect the OTHER viruses GENERAL TARGET AREA. This means that instead of HSV 1 going to the mouth, it can happen in the groin. And that instead of going to the groin, that HSV 2 will infect the mouth.

 

THIS IS FACT. Both diseases will happen in the other area in a minority of cases.

 

Next time read my post WORD for WORD. That way you dont skip over things and make assumptions.

[xxoo]

And your point? Black people make 13% of the American population, and many black women only date within their race.

 

Theres still enough people to have dates with right?

 

Despite any preferences most people have, theres enough folks out there that Im not struggling to enjoy my dating life.

 

And who says I was not equally vigilant about avoiding HSV 1.

 

My point is only what I just said--the health and antibody argument doesn't hold water if you aren't equally vigilant about HSV1.

 

I didn't say you were or weren't equally vigilant. This post made me question your view on the two, though:

 

Im so sick of this argument.

 

First off, obviously when people say herpes they mean genital herpes (HSV 2)

 

Secondly, many people have cold sores which is HSV 1. So no, most people do not have genital herpes, which is what we are talking about here.

 

So people need to give this argument a rest. Plenty of healthy folks out there want nothing to do with someone who has an incurable std that manifests itself with genital sores. It is what it is.

[kaylan]

I've enjoyed the spirited debate. Thank you for helping me to understand her side of the story.

You accepted her, but she couldnt accept you.

 

You are better off bro.

 

Plenty of girls out there who dont mind dudes who toke up. Plenty will toke up with ya too.

 

Good Luck

[sweetjasmine]

I run the risk of catching herpes with someone who has it.

 

Not if they're taking an antiviral.

 

It's virtually impossible to contract it if the person is taking their meds. You have a higher chance of getting infected if you have sex with someone you just met (using a condom, even) than you do if you have sex with someone who has been diagnosed with herpes but is on medication to treat an outbreak.

[Soxfaninfl]

I said in a MINORITY of cases each virus will affect the OTHER viruses GENERAL TARGET AREA. This means that instead of HSV 1 going to the mouth, it can happen in the groin. And that instead of going to the groin, that HSV 2 will infect the mouth.

 

LMAO HSV2 does not cause cold sores on the mouth. I'm done with you. Good luck not getting it.

[kaylan]

My point is only what I just said--the health and antibody argument doesn't hold water if you aren't equally vigilant about HSV1.

 

I didn't say you were or weren't equally vigilant. This post made me question your view on the two, though:

Understood.

 

About the post that made you question my point of view:

 

That post was explaining why people generally view cold sores differently then genital herpes. So I explained why people think that way.

 

I was also explaining why one cannot simply say "well since a lot of people have HSV 1, then they shouldnt be afraid of HSV 2" Which is what I felt was being said. Many people out there have neither and shouldnt be shamed into thinking they cannot choose to avoid either.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Well, you accepted her with herpes from the beginning. Your choice. But she did not choose a relationship with a pot smoking man from the beginning.

 

The fact that you think she is "damaged goods" would be a dealbreaker for me.

 

Plus, where would it end? I mean, does the fact that you were willing to accept her with herpes give you many free passes for all types of behavior, in your opinion?

 

I bet that this attitude showed itself in different aspects of your relationship, not just this one.