Herpes or Marijuana

February 20, 2012

I'm with Star Gazer.

Regular mj use would be a dealbreaker for me.

HSV+ would not be a dealbreaker.

The stigma surrounding HSV is worse than the actual disease.

How do you define "regular use" like once a week, once a month?

I really don't think it should be that big of a deal. I don't think it's a big deal and I'm a complete teetotaler (never drank, smoked or done any drugs ever).

February 20, 2012

Get tested and have people you sleep with get tested before hand. Problem solved.

WRONG. HSV tests come back positive only if your blood has a certain level of antibodies with the virus in it. I forget what the number is, but say it's 3.0 for argument's sake.

Scientists have determined that at a certain number of antibodies in your blood, you're more likely to have outbreaks and be contagious, and have set that number as the positive-result reading. A 0.0 is an absolute negative result. But anything above a 0.0 means you've been exposed to the virus and have the antibodies in your system. (You will be hard pressed to find ANYONE who has a 0.0 test result.) Thing is, anything less than a 3.0 will be reported to you as a negative result. However, again, any about between 0.1 to 2.9 still means you've been exposed to the virus and have the antibodies in your system - that is, you have it. And the higher that number, the more likely you are to still have outbreaks and be contagious, despite having a negative result.

How do I know this? Because an ex of mine told me he had it - he was diagnosed by swabs taken of his sores during his first and second outbreaks - but his blood tests come back negative because the antibodies in his system do not reach the "positive" threshold. He was a damn good man and an honest person in telling me, because he could have just sat back on his lorels and said, "I have a negative test result...see?" and shown me his report.

I later asked my doctor about this when I came back as more than 0.0 but less than 3.0 for HSV-1. The response was, "Your result is negative because you're unlikely to have an outbreak/cold sore or be contagious at that antibody level, but it's still entirely possible that you will."

I suspect this is precisely why so many people have HSV-1 or HSV-2 and don't know it, particularly women, who often confuse an HSV-2 outbreak with a yeast infection (sores on the cervix and not on the genitals, or a very weak outbreak that just results in minor itching but no sores can produce similar symptoms to a yeast infection).

What happened to them sucks, but it could have been prevented.

Not necessarily, not at all, for the reasons stated above.

FWIW, HIV infection can take up to 6 months to show up in your blood to show a positive test. And there is NO TEST for HPV in men. Women ALWAYS take the risk that men will give them HPV, because there's no way to prove that you don't have it.

In short, lab tests for STDs are NOT fool proof. False negatives happen ALL THE TIME. If you're going to have sex with someone, even protected... you're taking a risk. Are they worth it? Ask yourself that.

February 20, 2012

The stigma surrounding HSV is worse than the actual disease.

I don't know based on personal experience, but based on what my friends have told me, this is indeed very true.

February 20, 2012

^So basically youre using the argument that:

"theres no way to truly know if you have herpes or not...so go ahead and date people who we know who definitely have it"

riiiiiight

As far as I know and all the tests tell me...Im healthy...and Im staying that way.

Ive never had outbreaks of anything, and have never contracted any STD and have had negative results on all tests. So Im a damn healthy boy. But using your logic I prolly have HIV and Herpes since false negative happen all the time. Doesnt matter that Ive never had symptoms nor a positive test. =/

Plus no women I have been with have had anything after being with me. So Im damn sure Im a clean and healthy boy.

Edited February 20, 2012 by kaylan

February 20, 2012

^So basically youre using the argument that:

"theres no way to truly know if you have herpes or not...so go ahead and date people who we know who definitely have it"

riiiiiight

Not really, but if you want to put it that way, you can. It's person-specific. I wouldn't walk away a from freakin' awesome, amazing guy over a lame skin rash that no one else can see. Had my Army man had he told me he had it (he doesn't), or had a few other guys I've dated that have been awesome told me they had it, I wouldn't have walked away either (and with one, I didn't). Someone who I didn't really care about, sure, I'd walk away, just because they're not worth the INHERENT risk.

But I would turn down a pot head every single time.

February 20, 2012

Not really, but if you want to put it that way, you can. It's person-specific. I wouldn't walk away a from freakin' awesome, amazing guy over a lame skin rash that no one else can see. Had my Army man had he told me he had it (he doesn't), or had a few other guys I've dated that have been awesome told me they had it, I wouldn't have walked away either (and with one, I didn't). Someone who I didn't really care about, sure, I'd walk away, just because they're not worth the INHERENT risk.

But I would turn down a pot head every single time.

I value my health a lot. My body is my temple and I put it at risk for no one. So Id be friends with an awesome person, but I sure wouldnt date them if they could infect me with something adverse to my health.

Pot is different because its a soft drug that has no proven long term negative effects. Plus someone can choose not to smoke pot. I dont mind if a girl smoke on occasion and I can choose not to smoke if I date her.

With herpes, not so much. A person cant choose to be rid of it. And I run the risk of catching it even if we have protected sex all the time. And hell, if Im in a committed relationship, I dont want to have sex with a condom all the time. Thatd be a bummer.

This thread is dumb anyhow, because its silly to try and compare a soft drug to an incurable STD.

February 20, 2012

I value my health a lot. My body is my temple and I put it at risk for no one. So Id be friends with an awesome person, but I sure wouldnt date them if they could infect me with something adverse to my health.

My body is my temple too.

However, you ARE putting yourself at risk for STDs every time you have sex, even with a condom and test results. You're deluding yourself if you think otherwise.

And how is herpes adverse to a man's health other than the occasional skin rash (assuming he even gets more than one outbreak in his life)?

Pot is different because its a soft drug that has no proven long term negative effects.

Pot makes you act like a fool, and I've never been attracted to a man who was high. In fact, I've permanently lost attraction for men who I learned used it. I did not, on the other hand, lose attraction for an awesome, amazing guy, when he told me he had herpes.

And I run the risk of catching it even if we have protected sex all the time.

Exactly right. Exaaaaaactly right. Even with a negative test result.

February 20, 2012

If you had to choose between the 2, would you choose to date a person with Genital Herpes, or who smoked legal synthetic marijuana? TYIA.

1 in 4 adults has herpes. I've been with two women that didn't tell me that they had it. Hopefully you never get it. My advice to you is don't go down on any women without you know that they have been tested. 25% of adults that have it don't know they have it. Good luck.

February 20, 2012

Weed is no different than alcohol. Besides, the person could be using marijuana for medicinal purposes.

Herpes is gross. This shouldn't even be close.

I have it, and it is not a big deal. Eventually you stop getting out breaks. I had my first one a year ago and haven't had one since.

February 20, 2012

My body is my temple too.

However, you ARE putting yourself at risk for STDs every time you have sex, even with a condom and test results. You're deluding yourself if you think otherwise.

If I have sex only with someone who has proven themselves to have no STD then wheres the risk? What if shes a virgin whos never had so much as a cold sore in her entire life?

Or are you simply arguing to argue?

And how is herpes adverse to a man's health other than the occasional skin rash (assuming he even gets more than one outbreak in his life)?

So something that is classified as a disease and needs antibodies to fend it off is not considered adverse to ones person?

Pot makes you act like a fool, and I've never been attracted to a man who was high. In fact, I've permanently lost attraction for men who I learned used it. I did not, on the other hand, lose attraction for an awesome, amazing guy, when he told me he had herpes.

Everyones response to smoking pot is different. I hardly smoke, but when I do I am really mellowed out. I hardly talk. I just chill and watch tv or fall asleep tbh. I could do without it, which is why I only drink.

You just have a different view on it, so suit yourself. Someone can quit smoking and boot it out of their life. You cant do that with an incurable disease...so this is a stupid comparison.

Exactly right. Exaaaaaactly right. Even with a negative test result.

You must have misread what I wrote. I run the risk of catching herpes with someone who has it.

Someone whos never had it and has numerous negative results over many years...how am I at risk for the disease? Unless you wanna tell me all those results were false negatives and that their antibody count was a sham.

Give it a rest.

February 20, 2012

I value my health a lot. My body is my temple and I put it at risk for no one. So Id be friends with an awesome person, but I sure wouldnt date them if they could infect me with something adverse to my health.

Pot is different because its a soft drug that has no proven long term negative effects. Plus someone can choose not to smoke pot. I dont mind if a girl smoke on occasion and I can choose not to smoke if I date her.

With herpes, not so much. A person cant choose to be rid of it. And I run the risk of catching it even if we have protected sex all the time. And hell, if Im in a committed relationship, I dont want to have sex with a condom all the time. Thatd be a bummer.

This thread is dumb anyhow, because its silly to try and compare a soft drug to an incurable STD.

You can go to jail if your caught with alot of weed and if you sell it.

Herpes won't send you to jail. Herpes is not a big deal. I would rather have herpes than diabetes.

February 20, 2012

I value my health a lot. My body is my temple and I put it at risk for no one.

Herpes is not HIV. It doesn't affect your health. It a skin problem. It doesn't lead to health issues. Do your home work. I have it and I am physically fit. It doesn't bother me at all.

February 20, 2012

You can go to jail if your caught with alot of weed and if you sell it.

Herpes won't send you to jail. Herpes is not a big deal. I would rather have herpes than diabetes.

Stupid reasoning. Thats going into a whole different issue regarding the criminality of weed in certain countries.

What if I date someone from California who can obtain legal weed with a script. What if I lived in Canada or countries in Europe where its legal? Then what is your argument?

Herpes is a big deal to someone whos healthy and without disease. Deal with it. You can get rid of drugs and stop drug use. You can not get rid of an incurable disease like herpes. If this was the clap, or gonorrhea, Id give a girl a suspicious eye for ever catching it, but id be cool about it since its curable and she cant give it to me.

February 20, 2012

I'm the original poster. The reason I posed this question is the following.

I've been dating my girlfriend for a year now. She was up front with me that she had herpes, yes genital, but I really liked her so I continued with her and was willing to take the risk and deal with the inherent sexual limitations.

My daughter recently turned 18 and I decided I wanted to revisit my youth and have a little fun on my downtime so I bought a little bag. I never do it around the girlfriend, she never has to deal with any of it. I returned her honesty with honesty of my own and told her about it, I could have easily hid it indefinitely. However she has left me now because of it.

I'm just feeling a little slammed because I accepted her, faults and all, and now she isn't doing the same for me. I was just hoping she would stick with me as I did with her. The herpes has far more actual effect on the relationship than the drug use, but that's my opinion. On the other hand, I acknowledge that what I'm doing is by choice whereby she is not choosing to live with her infection, she has no choice.

It seemed like an even trade to me, but I also have to respect her decision about what's right for her.

February 20, 2012

Herpes is not HIV. It doesn't affect your health. It a skin problem. It doesn't lead to health issues. Do your home work. I have it and I am physically fit. It doesn't bother me at all.

If my body needs to create antibodies to fend it off then it DOES affect your health. Jeezus.

An infection is an infection. A disease is a disease. It has those names for a reason.

How about you do YOUR homework. I refuse to date someone who can give me a incurable condition. If that makes you feel bad then tough cookies. Everyone has their deal breakers. Grow up and get used to it.

February 20, 2012

So something that is classified as a disease and needs antibodies to fend it off is not considered adverse to ones person?

Do HSV1 and HSV2 differ in adversity to the body?

Why is one so much more feared than the other? I think it is due to the stigma.

February 20, 2012

Herpes is a big deal to someone whos healthy and without disease.

You don't have herpes, so you know what your taking about. Herpes does not affect your health. People are so f***ing ignorant!

February 20, 2012

Do HSV1 and HSV2 differ in adversity to the body?

Why is one so much more feared than the other? I think it is due to the stigma.

They differ only in the areas they generally affect. However in a minority of cases they will infect the other viruses general target area...ie...HSV 1 in the groin, HSV 2 on the mouth. But as I said, a minority of cases but possible.

The reason genital herpes is more feared is obviously because of its area and possibly even frequency of outbreaks.

Either way, as someone who has neither, I aint starting now. I dont see why some folks have such an issue with this deal breaker. Its no different than drugs, body type, or anything else. Actually it is different because its about ones own personal health...so people shouldnt get upset if someone wants to avoid it.

Maybe I DONT WANT a skin problem...did you think about that?

I already deal with acne as an adult. And I deal with ingrown hairs when I shave because I am black and have super curly hair. I DONT WANT ANY OTHER SKIN ISSUES. Deal with it.

February 20, 2012

Or are you simply arguing to argue?

No, I'm trying to educate the ignorant. Clearly, I'm failing.

So something that is classified as a disease and needs antibodies to fend it off is not considered adverse to ones person?

I asked you a question. How does it harm your health? Please answer that question.

You just have a different view on it, so suit yourself. Someone can quit smoking and boot it out of their life. You cant do that with an incurable disease...so this is a stupid comparison.

I don't know why you're getting all crazy about this. I didn't start this thread. I merely answered the question. It's a no-brainer to me. I'd NEVER date a pot smoker. Period. Someone with herpes is entirely different. Would I date any old person with herpes? No, because I wouldn't date any old person. But I would date an amazing, awesome person with herpes. No question.

Give it a rest.

How about you, Mr. Continuing to Post Repeatedly About This?

You're clearly uneducated about STDs and their inherent risks, and one of the people who's terrified of HSV based on it's stigma rather than what it actually is. Oh well. Have a nice day.

February 20, 2012

Maybe I DONT WANT a skin problem...did you think about that?

I already deal with acne as an adult. And I deal with ingrown hairs when I shave because I am black and have super curly hair. I DONT WANT ANY OTHER SKIN ISSUES. Deal with it.

Huh? Why would anyone on LS need to "deal" with your issues or decisions? You're the one who has to deal with your skin problems.

February 20, 2012

You don't have herpes, so you know what your taking about. Herpes does not affect your health. People are so f***ing ignorant!

Are you daft? Learn to read. If you body creates antibodies to attack a disease than that is IN FACT a change to your health. It is an affect on your health.

I understand you have a tough time with people having this be a deal breaker...but thems the breaks kid. People have all sorts of deal breakers.

February 20, 2012

They differ only in the areas they generally affect. However in a minority of cases they will infect the other viruses general target area...ie...HSV 1 in the groin, HSV 2 on the mouth. But as I said, a minority of cases but possible.

LMAO you don't know what your taking about!!! You have it ass backwards!

February 20, 2012

I was fascinated, while researching some data for this thread, to find out that the DEA ordered a temporary statute in 2011, essentially outlawing for unlicensed use/manufacture/distribution many forms of 'synthetic' MJ, apparently scheduled to expire in a couple weeks. The OP might wish to consider that factor in their research.

February 20, 2012

Are you daft? Learn to read. If you body creates antibodies to attack a disease than that is IN FACT a change to your health. It is an affect on your health.

I understand you have a tough time with people having this be a deal breaker...but thems the breaks kid. People have all sorts of deal breakers.

Yup. I wouldn't date someone with nasty ingrown hairs. That's the breaks kid.

February 20, 2012

They differ only in the areas they generally affect. However in a minority of cases they will infect the other viruses general target area...ie...HSV 1 in the groin, HSV 2 on the mouth. But as I said, a minority of cases but possible.

The reason genital herpes is more feared is obviously because of its area and possibly even frequency of outbreaks.

Either way, as someone who has neither, I aint starting now. I dont see why some folks have such an issue with this deal breaker. Its no different than drugs, body type, or anything else. Actually it is different because its about ones own personal health...so people shouldnt get upset if someone wants to avoid it.

I have no problem with your dealbreaker.

I just question the antibody and health argument if you (general you) aren't equally vigilant about avoiding people with HSV1 (cold sores). Over 50% of the US population carries that virus! That would make dating pretty tough

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