When you know you should break up but you can't do it...

[Tigerstripes16]

I love my boyfriend of three years more than anything. How I feel has made me act in ways that aren't like me at all. I hardly recognise who I am anymore. I feel like our relationship is in a rut but that he sees it as something broken. I really feel we are meant to be together in life but I'm running out of ways to keep us on any kind of track. I know there's a complete imbalance in our relationship....Its embarrassing for me to say that I have and will let everything else in my life slip to try and make it work with him...I suppose my head knows I should walk away but I literally cannot make my heart stop wanting to stay. Part of me is convinced that if I broke up with him and sorted out my life then we could come back to a better relationship later. But I also feel like I need him in my life-my self esteem in shattered and I have no confidence anymore. I know it's unfair on him for me to wrap so much of my own happiness up in him. But I can't face life without him. I suppose I'm asking for some advice on how to get out of this relationship and be strong enough not to have the rest of my life fall apart. All our friends are shared and because they live and work around/with him, I know I'l lose them mostly too. I do think breaking up is the only option I have left. But t the moment I'm staying in a relationship that I'm lonely and neglected in anyway just hoping it gets better. How can I fix it? How do I get out without breaking my own heart? I feel like he would respond to a break up by moving into a new fling immediately and i can't bear the thought of it. I need advice. I know I deserve better but I can't walk away.

[Mag-Lone-Freak]

Hey, I'm in the same frame of mind right now in a similar situation. Me and my bf have been together for nearly 3 years. This last year we have even lived together. He's been troubled from the start causing me grief, but I decided to give him time to better himself, but things got even worse now since he's expressed to me feelings for another girl and telling me he wants to explore different types of girls cause he's only been with me and I haven't been satisfying him in certain ways. The thought of breaking up with him also really bothers me and imagining him with another girl right away hurts too. I thought and have asked on here if me having a fling would help me feel better. I didn't want him walking away to some other girls arms leaving me alone in our apartment feeling like a loser and all alone with no one else out there for me. I thought a fling might help me forget about him or at least know of someone who would take his place, but I've been told it wouldn't solve the problem. Anyways, its hard for me to answer your questions since mine are the same. What I'm trying to do right now is meditate on the thought of us being a part and getting used to that mentally and the up side of it, while also trying to let go of the need to have someone in my life to be happy and let my other passions in life take his place..I'm also trying to warm up to the idea of us being friends to some how make it easier.. Good luck

[rach24680]

If your with him because ur lonely and dnt wana feel neglected you know ut wrong. In your heart you know that this relationship wont work so youd be better saving yourself more grief and guilt by doing it sooner rather than later, you may end up resenting him if you dont, then chances of you ever being together again wont happen. Hope you find the strength you need!

[Rorschach64]

Neglectful how?

 

Have you talked to him about your feelings? Have you suggested/thought of counseling for your relationship?

 

If he isn't willing to work with you on the relationship then all you can do is walk and bite the bullet on the loss. You probably should tell us what you did do to actually salvage the relationship up to this point.