JazzyFox Posted February 18, 2012 Posted February 18, 2012 Well, actually, more like 38. Ok, I dont know if he is actually a virgin, but a friend of mine has been single forever and seems to have erased the possibility of a relationship and sex from his mind. I dont even think he "looks" at girls. He is super sweet, but no ambition, no confidence, always hemming and hawing for the silliest things. I want to set him up with some friends of mine, alpha-female types, but Im afraid he just doesnt see any reason to bother. What gives? PS no, I dont think he is gay
ThaWholigan Posted February 18, 2012 Posted February 18, 2012 Lack of confidence is what gives. He needs a bit of a boost or some subtle encouragement. Have you tried inviting him out or getting him involved in some hobbies that require him to be around people, especially women?? He's probably had/allowed his self-esteem to be so eroded that he simply doesn't have the heart to try anymore. Very sad
fortyninethousand322 Posted February 18, 2012 Posted February 18, 2012 I'm one of those people who thinks that if he can't get the "go get out there and date" motivation from himself, your efforts to set him up with someone aren't going to do much except cause heartache and pain for somebody. I say let him stew in his own juices.
Professor X Posted February 18, 2012 Posted February 18, 2012 Well, actually, more like 38. Ok, I dont know if he is actually a virgin, but a friend of mine has been single forever and seems to have erased the possibility of a relationship and sex from his mind. I dont even think he "looks" at girls. He is super sweet, but no ambition, no confidence, always hemming and hawing for the silliest things. I want to set him up with some friends of mine, alpha-female types, but Im afraid he just doesnt see any reason to bother. What gives? PS no, I dont think he is gay Maybe he is asexual? And at any rate, if he isn't interested in a RS, than it's really none of your business to set him up with any. What makes you think that THAT will make him happy? No offense, but unless he told you he actually wants a RS but can't seem to find the right person or something like this, I think you're coming across as a bit nosey.
FitChick Posted February 18, 2012 Posted February 18, 2012 I know a 55 year old virgin who is asexual. I think there are a lot of them these days for some reason.
Author JazzyFox Posted February 18, 2012 Author Posted February 18, 2012 I know a 55 year old virgin who is asexual. I think there are a lot of them these days for some reason. Maybe, to badly quote a local radio psychologist, "they have been castrated by the women in their lives"?
ascendotum Posted February 19, 2012 Posted February 19, 2012 He could be asexual or he could have just given up on the possibility of ending up in a relationship with a sexy girl. I agree with Prof X, that you would be on safer ground as regards setting him up with your friends if you had heard him lament his lack of options or how he wished he had a gf. Apart from that aspect.. You have good intentions, but I really think its a waste of time setting up your 'alpha-female' friends with a guy you describe as 'no ambition, no confidence, always hemming and hawing'. You find him a sweet guy, they wont.
FitChick Posted February 19, 2012 Posted February 19, 2012 Maybe, to badly quote a local radio psychologist, "they have been castrated by the women in their lives"? This 55-year old virgin never had any women in his life. That's why he's still a virgin! He denies being gay.
Author JazzyFox Posted February 19, 2012 Author Posted February 19, 2012 This 55-year old virgin never had any women in his life. That's why he's still a virgin! He denies being gay. I assume everyone has had a mother or mother figure In their lives.
gaius Posted February 19, 2012 Posted February 19, 2012 I think some guys just have a sexual hangup they never get over. FitChick is right in saying there are a ton of them out there, and not all are honest about it. Many times they try to hide in plain sight, always have some excuse as to why they aren't dating or can't find the right girl. Occasionally pursuing a girl who wants nothing to do with them and ignoring or rejecting those who do. I don't know what causes it, but if he hasn't managed to get himself laid at 38 he's probably not looking for it. Any female friend you try to hook him up with is probably in for a lot of excuses and missed dates.
Sith Apprentice Posted February 19, 2012 Posted February 19, 2012 Leave him be. He is probably happier alone than most guys in relationships.
Fondue Posted February 19, 2012 Posted February 19, 2012 What makes you think he wants to be setup? Or even be in a relationship? If you were to just randomly started to try and set him up, he might (and most likely will) take it as an insult. Additionally, you are almost clearly stating that he is doing something wrong by not going out there himself and making himself available. Maybe he simply isn't looking for anything. You think you will be doing him a favor, or act like an awesome match maker when all you're doing is making him feel about his decision to not pursue women. Leave him alone, in my opinion. Besides, you might not know what actually goes on behind closed doors, or what he isn't telling you. He might be a wild sex fiend who goes out at night to huge orgies and gets his jollies off, and then during the day time he acts like an introverted individual, hehe.
AD1980 Posted February 19, 2012 Posted February 19, 2012 Im in his position at 31..You kind of lose motivation after awhile and if youve never attracted women by a certain age the idea is so far away and foreign to you that you stop trying.. Plus after suffering rejection after rejection you get tired of it and the useless cliches people tell you about attracting women so you figure why bother when you know how its gonna end when you hit on a women..
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