Stncldgent Posted February 18, 2012 Posted February 18, 2012 Hello all, So far I have been no contact with my ex for about 7 months, She has a bf that she left me for, During those 7 months I have worked on myself and have moved on for the most part. The monkey wrench in everything is that we were best friends for many, many years. So losing two relationships at the same time took a bit of a toll. anyways, I am better now, even though I still think about her from time to time. A couple weeks ago one of our mutal friends asked me if I was going to send my ex a birthday message, and I said "While I would like to talk to her again, I just needed to let things be with her because the ex did not seem like she wanted to talk to me anymore either" and left it at that. Well Yesterday was my birthday, and got a text from her wishing my a happy birthday as well as trying to joke around that we are both getting old, The reason why she joked about it is because her birthday is today. I did not respond to her birthday text, but now I am at a loss at what I should do here? Would protocol suggest that I send her a simple "happy b-day" text or just leave it be and continue with NC. I mean we were best friends before all of this went down. I dunno part of me has a suspicion in how this all went down, because part of me feels that the message from my ex was only sent because of what I told our mutual friend. I don't offer our mutual friend very many tidbits of my life since the breakup. and don't talk to her very much because they both live in the same town about 30 mins from where I live. So they know nothing about what I am doing with my life. The other part of me says eh....it's just a simple birthday text message what is the harm in wishing her a happy b-day. since she wished me one yesterday on my bday and today is her bday. any advice? Thanks....
jus d'orange Posted February 18, 2012 Posted February 18, 2012 Just look at it for what it is... She sent you a birthday text because she thought about you and wanted to wish you a happy birthday. It doesn't mean anything more, and unless you mean anything more than wishing her a happy birthday by sending her a text, you should feel free to do so too. Be prepared to get nothing in response, and also be prepared not to take any sort of response as anything more than friendliness.
ThatDudeXO Posted February 18, 2012 Posted February 18, 2012 My friend she is just saying happy birthday. Do the same and leave it at that. Don't expect any thing more, she's saying it to you as a friend.
Author Stncldgent Posted February 18, 2012 Author Posted February 18, 2012 I don't question that she is saying it out of friendship It seems that she had the mutual friend fishing for information. and part of me thinks the ex still needs to feel that she has "power" over me. My mistake was saying that I would like to talk to her again to our friend, because I really feel that if I had not said that I would not have heard from the Ex yesterday. I know that I send the text back to her I will get no response, so what is the point in breaking NC just to be "friendly"? If there is no friendship now, and no possibility of a friendship in the future, that is counterproductive isn't it? Kinda hard for me to be receptive of her friendship when she was perfectly fine pushing me out of her life completely 7 months ago..... I guess it just make me question her motives. I know it sounds rash what i am saying but I have since put my walls back up and everything. Ugh I should have never read that message......
ThatDudeXO Posted February 18, 2012 Posted February 18, 2012 One scenario could be that she is completely over you and feels that it may be time for you to be JUST friends. If you feel like you can't, keep NC. She's with someone else dude, stop worrying about her or her intentions. She isn't important to you if she's with someone else.
Sugarkane Posted February 19, 2012 Posted February 19, 2012 At least you got something. Today's my birthday and I've never heard from my ex, not even once since the BU. I guess he never cared at all.
Author Stncldgent Posted February 19, 2012 Author Posted February 19, 2012 well I texted her a simple "happy b-day" and nothing more........ surprisingly I got a response from her, trying to get another reply from me. I'm going back to NC though......I am not a fallback plan, I am not a second choice. I refuse to allow that to happen to me again. anyways it's done now, thanks for the responses.
ThatDudeXO Posted February 19, 2012 Posted February 19, 2012 well I texted her a simple "happy b-day" and nothing more........ surprisingly I got a response from her, trying to get another reply from me. I'm going back to NC though......I am not a fallback plan, I am not a second choice. I refuse to allow that to happen to me again. anyways it's done now, thanks for the responses. Proud of you! E
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