Exit Posted February 18, 2012 Posted February 18, 2012 For those not familiar with the site Baggage Reclaim, there are a ton of great articles there. Checked my email from my phone last night while feeling miserable and had an alert that she had posted a new article. I think this is a good read for many of us. It explores the idea that many of us chase after an ex or an unavailable person because we are hoping they will retract their rejection of us and give our self esteem and ego and sigh of relief. She says we probably really aren't so concerned about what these people think about us or not, what we are really trying to escape from is the rejection of ourselves. If you're like me, not only did you go through a breakup, but you went through the kind that really does a number on your self esteem. I've been made to feel so worthless and this article made me realize, I'm probably not so much worried about wishing my ex would love me again, as much as I am trying to run from the fact that my own self worth is very low right now, and rather than doing the hard work to rebuild ourselves, it's a nice easy shortcut to hope we can contact the person and find out they still have feelings for us or something like that. She suggests we figure out how to heal our own rejection wounds and feel good about ourselves instead of seeking the praise of the people who left. Quit Seeking A 2
who_knew Posted February 18, 2012 Posted February 18, 2012 Wise words. I think this is what I'm going through, but it's hard to tell. Maybe it wasn't a perfect relationship and I just want my self-esteem to be where it was before.
goldengirl11 Posted February 19, 2012 Posted February 19, 2012 (edited) I read Baggage Reclaim too and could really identify with this thread this morning it was a little scary! Although not that I'm dwelling of course! ;-) Edited February 19, 2012 by goldengirl11
CopingGal Posted February 20, 2012 Posted February 20, 2012 Thanks Exit, I checked out that site. Good stuff!
CopingGal Posted February 21, 2012 Posted February 21, 2012 Hi Exit. I put some info on Cluster B in the Abuse forum.
Million.to.1 Posted February 21, 2012 Posted February 21, 2012 She does write some great articles. I agree with this too. My rational mind knows that my ex and I are wrong for each other, so it's been a funny process wishing for him back but not really understanding why. Of course, it's just my ego.
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