PinkCarnations Posted February 18, 2012 Posted February 18, 2012 For 10 months now, me & him were in a happy relationship. The only thing was that he had just gotten out of a relationship, so he never asked me to be his girlfriend, officially. He said he didn't wanna jump in too quickly until he has fully healed. We lived together as roommates and best of friends during these months.. Since the beginning of our relationship, his ex was still reaching out to him and trying her best to get him back. Eventually he caved in and took her back.. So I moved out. Yes, I know that I should probably move on. But I love him.. We are very attracted to each other (he says this a lot, too), he makes me laugh, and we always help each other to be the best we can be. After the first week since me moving out, he called me and we met up for dinner. I ended up sleeping over his place and slept with him twice that day. Come Valentine's week, we were very limited contact but when we did text, he always used heart emoticons, kissing emoticons, etc.. lovey dovey sorta. He still addresses me as his "boo." On v-day, he came to my workplace and gave me flowers and a sweet card. However, I knew that he would be spending Valentine's Day with her since they are back together, or working things out now. It pained me so much because his girlfriend would tag him in pictures such as the roses he gave her & it was made public so that I could see it.. He said she's really jealous of me because of how much I mean to him. So I deleted him off facebook. We are on a bowling team so I'm forced to see him about once a week. The last time I saw him at bowling, I walked right past him when I entered the room. He asked for a hug and then was very touchy and flirty with me the rest of the night. Then outside in the parking lot, he was trying to tell me things like "I will always love you. Once I figure this out, you can bet I will do whatever it takes to get you back." Our contact is limited now, because I don't want to call him or text him while he's with another woman, and I know he usually is. But when he suggests meeting up a certain day (when she's not around), I know we're going to be intimate. But I don't want to be the other woman. How can I have him all to myself? Sigh. Or at least, maybe how to move on.. especially when I see him every week, it's like back to square one again.
alexandria35 Posted February 18, 2012 Posted February 18, 2012 Not sure why you want him back. He's a liar and a cheater and you find that attractive. Once he figures it all out he will do whatever it takes to get you back? Are you honestly believing this crap? If he loves you so much and wants you back so bad then that should make it easy for him to figure it out. Do you really want to be with a guy who can buy his girlfriend roses and spend valentines day with her, tell her he loves her, have sex with her and then come chasing you. Doesn't that make you feel sick? You need to move on and the way to do that is to stop talking to him and stop seeing him. Stop reading his stupid texts with stupid emoticons. Sending you a text with little lovey emoticons does not equal love, respect or anything else. Cut him off and get on with your life. Find someone you won't think so little of you to put you in this position. 1
kareena Posted February 18, 2012 Posted February 18, 2012 I agree with alexandria, the guy has made his choice and trust me you don't need this! just try to let go and I'm sure that you will be able to do so eventually..as for you seeing him at bowling events,well IMHO I believe you should keep it formal and distant in a way,you don't want him to get the wrong message and don't allow him to get all flirty and touchy with you..he can't have both of you,and he already made his choice. good luck
MissBee Posted February 18, 2012 Posted February 18, 2012 Not sure why you want him back. He's a liar and a cheater and you find that attractive. Once he figures it all out he will do whatever it takes to get you back? Are you honestly believing this crap? If he loves you so much and wants you back so bad then that should make it easy for him to figure it out. Do you really want to be with a guy who can buy his girlfriend roses and spend valentines day with her, tell her he loves her, have sex with her and then come chasing you. Doesn't that make you feel sick? You need to move on and the way to do that is to stop talking to him and stop seeing him. Stop reading his stupid texts with stupid emoticons. Sending you a text with little lovey emoticons does not equal love, respect or anything else. Cut him off and get on with your life. Find someone you won't think so little of you to put you in this position. I agree with alexandria. When I read this I immediately thought of my male friend who cannot survive without having a harem of women around him, whom he strings along with empty gestures WHILE he has a gf. He even tried to do it to me. I was never romantically interested in him, but when he would interact with me he would try to say I was his future wife and also send lovey-dovey emoticons and flatter me , except for me it was not flaterring but annoying, and when he got a girlfriend and continued this behavior, it became downright rude to me that he would still do that. He not only does it to me, but other women as well, as he sleeps with other women not his gf and I'm sure he's telling them all sorts of garbage too and buys them stuff as well. This guy sounds just the same....one who has a gf but also wants to have another woman around who loves him and wants him and whom he also shows attention to, when HE feels like. You are no priority of his and even if you were his gf, he would probably have no trouble doing what he does to his gf to you. He is also getting great joy out of pitting you against her and turning it into a competition, telling you she is jealous of you so you feel special somehow. And it is working as now you are hell bent on "winning" him....he is playing you and playing you good. Don't allow him to. No woman needs to "win" a man's love from another woman. If he wanted to be with you he would be.....he is happily where he wants to be. He is not married, they don't have kids, they don't live together....so he has NO excuses. He is not that great of a catch it seems so please don't allow him to fill your head with nonsense. 1
Author PinkCarnations Posted February 19, 2012 Author Posted February 19, 2012 Thank you guys. This is why I'm on this forum... Because I need a serious reality check. He's been non-responsive to me these past few days, and I texted him asking him why he's ignoring me, why he's going from 60 to 0, blah blah.. I know he's hanging out with her and sleeping with her and whispering sweet nothings in her ear. It makes me sick to my stomach to the point where I lose all appetite. When he finally replied, he said he needs to take things one at a time and doesn't want to hurt me anymore... Meaning he doesn't want to string me along. I suppose he really is making things work with her. So after reading your replies, I feel a lot better. I will let things run its course and not try to contact him or win him back. Just stay as casual friends. If anyone has similar stories to mine, please share.
Author PinkCarnations Posted February 19, 2012 Author Posted February 19, 2012 agree you said in your opening post you aren't reaching out to him, yet the above shows different. he's non-responsive because he is busy with his girlfriend. he chose her. why do you keep texting him, calling him, trying to get him to respond to you? how would you feel if he was showing his girlfriend all your messages and they were laughing at how needy you are? you can't stay friends because you want more. it won't work. it is almost like you are hanging around waiting for any scrap he throws you. you deserve much better than to be someone's play toy. respect yourself more than caring about him. refuse to be his secret sex partner. refuse to allow him to continue to use you. let him go. No, I haven't contacted him prior to that. I just asked one question, and he didn't respond so I called to see what's up.. Then I simply asked why he was ignoring me all of a sudden.. Anyways, I'm not trying to be desperate, and when I say "casual friends" it just means a quick hi and bye when we see each other. I know.. Move on. Yeah, hopefully it'll get easier with time.
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