Pharren Posted February 18, 2012 Posted February 18, 2012 OMG I don't think my marriage cold get any worse. I can't stop crying. DH is tired of arguing and won'ttalk right niw. My head is spinning. Does counseling work. I can't take anymore... I need soneone to talk to now. Why can't I stop crying
DashedToBits Posted February 18, 2012 Posted February 18, 2012 I have felt what you are feeling...many, many times. How are you this morning?
Author Pharren Posted February 18, 2012 Author Posted February 18, 2012 Thank you. I feel a little better this morning. emotionally spent, but better. DH and I talked. We always talk after a fight, and seem to take a step back from our attack mode. We have an appointment with a counselor on monday. Our first one. We spent the day out together and talked a little more. We even had fun and smiled and laughed a bit. Neither of us wants a divorce. I am praying it never comes to that. But we can't communicate and he thinks every single thing I say or do is an attack on him. I don't know how to answer that. I am very confused. We have always (20 years) had our ups and downs and been prone to bickering, but nothing like this. I am afraid he has PTSD from so many military deployments. I am no saint in the relationship, but I feel so much animosity from him.
Yasuandio Posted February 19, 2012 Posted February 19, 2012 Sometimes talking is the worse thing to do. It can push your spouse away. Have you tried listening very carefully, and validating him - even if you don't agree or like what your hearing? Get a grip. You will be ok. There are websites that can teach you these types of techniques. I wish I had the chance to try them myself, but it is probably too late. Divorce Buster's site, and Mort Fertil (sp) speak of alternate methods than "talking about problems.". Good luck, yas
Author Pharren Posted March 2, 2012 Author Posted March 2, 2012 Thank you. We saw the counselor and it was good....bu then we fought over money and he blew up. He lost control. He wasn't physically violent, and I wasn't scared of that, but emotionally he went off. Now he will barely speak to me about anything even the weather because he says he won't anymore to avoid ever getting that mad again. He just watches TV. Our counselor has been out of town and our next appt is Monday. I feel compelled to talk and talk to him and you are right it is driving him deeper into his shell. Talking is how I cope though, so I will have to work hard at letting it go for a while until we can get back to the counselor. The good news is that he is still willing to go.
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