somedude81 Posted February 19, 2012 Posted February 19, 2012 So eliminate those beliefs using the Lefkoe Method and your problem is solved. Unless, of course, you enjoy wallowing in self-pity like your female counterpart at LoveShack (who shall remain nameless since she's an attention whore). Maybe you two could get a group discount. LOL, half the time I can't tell if you're serious about the Lefkoe Method stuff or not. It's almost your running gag now. Honestly, I don't need some method thing to remove my negative beliefs. All I need are some positive experiences. Going full circle here. The best way for a short man to get improved confidence, is for him to actually get women.
PlumPrincess Posted February 19, 2012 Posted February 19, 2012 In a perfect world, we'd ALL love to be able to attract someone from the opposite sex without much hassle. Unfortunately it doesn't work that way. People get rejected everyday in different circumstances and continue on. Women are going to reject you. It's just the way it is. You have to overcome it. You were ignored today, but you could be received with open arms tomorrow. There are still times when I'll see a woman I'd like to approach, and instead of doing it, I make excuses--then when she leaves, I feel a huge sigh of relief because I didn't have to put myself out there, but then I feel like crap later. That's a pain far worse than rejection. At the end of the day, if you really want it enough, you'll deal with the obstacles along the way. I once saw this quote and somehow it stuck with me. I don't remember it verbatim, but it was something along the line that every time you don't face something and walk away, you lose a part of your life essence. It has an esoteric touch to it, but it's still something quite worthwhile to think about. You must not allow fear to rule your life. Every time you give in to it and stay in your comfort zone, you become weaker.
PlumPrincess Posted February 19, 2012 Posted February 19, 2012 LOL, half the time I can't tell if you're serious about the Lefkoe Method stuff or not. It's almost your running gag now. Honestly, I don't need some method thing to remove my negative beliefs. All I need are some positive experiences. Going full circle here. The best way for a short man to get improved confidence, is for him to actually get women. Obviously your narrow-mindedness is stronger than your desperation. You can wait a long time for your positive experiences, because with this attitude women will not feel attracted to you. You either get off your lazy butt and improve your confidence through other means than women or you just stay in your situation.
PlumPrincess Posted February 19, 2012 Posted February 19, 2012 Oh plum princess some people work out for health. I could care less what girls think I look like. Also I agree with you the sixpack look is overated. So, you don't have a six-pack. The article gave these dating tips to men - dress with style, be confident and work out. I think in this context working out was meant as, "look your best physically." Being healthy is important, but it's still not the same as looking good (like having a belly - not unhealthy, but it could be better, right?).
Els Posted February 19, 2012 Posted February 19, 2012 Well then I'm sorry but unless you're adept at playing the long game, it's possible that you may always have this problem. And the long game never works, unless you're able to sustain a level of attraction over a LONG time. Pff, speak for yourself. Every single guy I've been with has done what you call 'the long game'. If they don't, I don't agree. OTOH, if SD is having trouble with his method then it certainly doesn't hurt for him to try other methods. LOL, half the time I can't tell if you're serious about the Lefkoe Method stuff or not. It's almost your running gag now. I swear she must get a commission for every person she inducts into that scheme or something. Honestly, I don't need some method thing to remove my negative beliefs. All I need are some positive experiences. Going full circle here. The best way for a short man to get improved confidence, is for him to actually get women. Well, such is the case with many things in life. Eg jobs. Have job -> some cash to spare -> can afford higher education, car, better wardrobe -> more options. I don't agree with paying someone who isn't even clinically qualified $200/hour to just talk to me either. But that isn't the only thing you've not wanted to try, eh?
PlumPrincess Posted February 19, 2012 Posted February 19, 2012 I don't agree with paying someone who isn't even clinically qualified $200/hour to just talk to me either. But that isn't the only thing you've not wanted to try, eh? $200/hour is way too much! I liked the book on self-talk that someone recommended here.
Els Posted February 19, 2012 Posted February 19, 2012 $200/hour is way too much! I liked the book on self-talk that someone recommended here. It is, isn't it? I recall FC stating before that that was the price though (as a counterargument to someone saying that she would not pay a few thousands for a weekend session).
xxoo Posted February 19, 2012 Posted February 19, 2012 I just can't see it that way. No matter how little I like the girl, I see rejection as an attack upon me and it's something that confirms the beliefs I hold about myself. Challenge that self-talk. Why not conclude there is something wrong with her? I like how you asked the girl to join you. She obviously lacks grace and social skills in how she ignored the invite, but whatever. Ask 10 more girls out the same way this week. Keep doing it until it gets easier. Fake it til you make it!
somedude81 Posted February 19, 2012 Posted February 19, 2012 Challenge that self-talk. Why not conclude there is something wrong with her? Because I've asked out somehow around 25 girls in my life that I knew fairly well and they all rejected me before or after the first date, never even getting a kiss from any them. At this point, I'd have to be pretty stupid to think that something isn't wrong with me. I like how you asked the girl to join you. She obviously lacks grace and social skills in how she ignored the invite, but whatever. Ask 10 more girls out the same way this week. I don't know 10 more girls that I can ask. And I'm not going to ask out random girls I see on the street.
iris219 Posted February 19, 2012 Posted February 19, 2012 The best advice for short guys is for them to date women who are also short (5'2" and under). The short women I know either prefer shorter guys or don’t mind if a guy is short.
somedude81 Posted February 19, 2012 Posted February 19, 2012 The best advice for short guys is for them to date women who are also short (5'2" and under). The short women I know either prefer shorter guys or don’t mind if a guy is short. Arbitrarily limiting ourselves to women 5'2 or under is a huge mistake. First of all, the average women is about 5'4, so only going for girls 5'2 and under cuts out a huge amount of women. Next, just because a woman is short, does not mean that she's going to accept. No, the best thing for a short guy is to ask out women of all heights, and basically pretend that his and their height doesn't matter.
iris219 Posted February 19, 2012 Posted February 19, 2012 Arbitrarily limiting ourselves to women 5'2 or under is a huge mistake. First of all, the average women is about 5'4, so only going for girls 5'2 and under cuts out a huge amount of women. Next, just because a woman is short, does not mean that she's going to accept. No, the best thing for a short guy is to ask out women of all heights, and basically pretend that his and their height doesn't matter. Sure, but just know that you'll have better luck with shorter women. You'll get more rejections from taller women.
Shaun-Dro Posted February 19, 2012 Posted February 19, 2012 I read that a while ago. Not much to go by and it actually insults short guys. "Shorty Pete Wentz might be a mere 5’6" Really now? Tips were basically, wear good clothes, have style (yes they mentioned clothes twice), work out and have confidence. Of course there is no mention of how to actually get confidence when you've been constantly rejected. I'm 5'6 but I don't think height has been much of a problem in the dating world. I've been the problem; standing in my own way, so-to-speak. I've had women taller than me by several inches express interest in me. I have a woman now about 5'8 flirting with me every chance she gets but I think it's mostly because she has a fetish for younger men since she's 40, is my guess. She got excited when she heard I was 33 so I wonder.
Cracker Jack Posted February 19, 2012 Posted February 19, 2012 Sure, but just know that you'll have better luck with shorter women. You'll get more rejections from taller women. What exactly is "taller" when it comes to women?
iris219 Posted February 19, 2012 Posted February 19, 2012 What exactly is "taller" when it comes to women? Above average height. Something like over 5'6". Some taller women won't mind a guy who's shorter, but there's a better chance of this with short women.
xxoo Posted February 19, 2012 Posted February 19, 2012 I don't know 10 more girls that I can ask. And I'm not going to ask out random girls I see on the street. You can't do this, and you won't do that. How will you get enough practice if you just....won't? Ask out girls that work at places you frequent: supermarket, coffee shop, game store, library, etc. Start going to NEW places if you want to meet new girls. Be friendly a couple times (ask for help the first visit, say "Hi again!" the next visit), and then casually ask her out the third. Repeat 10x. 1
johan Posted February 19, 2012 Posted February 19, 2012 I find it common for short women to really desire tall guys. I also know plenty of taller women who don't care at all how tall a guy is. It goes about every way you can imagine. Guys who worry about this stuff simply lack confidence. It isn't society inflicting loneliness on them. They may also be so inexperienced that have never gotten to know someone well enough to forget all the superficial stuff. Someone who knows you well will stop seeing you as tall or short. She will also stop seeing you as fat or fit. She will stop seing your warts, and your third arm and your missing leg. If she likes you, she'll start noticing little things she finds attractive. And she'll forget all her "criteria" and start dedicating her free time to you. The important thing is to let go of the urgency and let them get to know you. Quit worrying about all this and just be with them. Lighten up and show that you have a personality. Don't treat every woman like she has the keys to all your happiness and she'd better come through or you'll be back living in your cold, dark hole for another 6 months. 2
somedude81 Posted February 19, 2012 Posted February 19, 2012 The important thing is to let go of the urgency and let them get to know you. Quit worrying about all this and just be with them. Lighten up and show that you have a personality. It's amazing how much contradictory advice there is out there about dating.
somedude81 Posted February 19, 2012 Posted February 19, 2012 Sorry we can't do your thinking for you. You'll have to figure out whats true yourself. Although its quite obviouse you refuse to use logic or listen to reason. If my eyes could roll any further back they'd pop out of my head.
somedude81 Posted February 19, 2012 Posted February 19, 2012 Honestly Dust, when I think of logic and reason, you're the last person to come to mind.
johan Posted February 19, 2012 Posted February 19, 2012 It's amazing how much contradictory advice there is out there about dating. What is the contradiction? Honestly Dust, when I think of logic and reason, you're the last person to come to mind. Dust tends to be right though. At least with respect to this stuff.
Imajerk17 Posted February 19, 2012 Posted February 19, 2012 Because I've asked out somehow around 25 girls in my life that I knew fairly well and they all rejected me before or after the first date, never even getting a kiss from any them. At this point, I'd have to be pretty stupid to think that something isn't wrong with me. You don't know what rejection is. Sorry, but you don't. I've approached 25 girls in a month once. I've approached 5 women in a day. And back when I was much younger and clueless about women, I had a long-term crush tell me to get lost. Not "we can be friends" but "get lost, don't talk to me". Yes my ego was pounded into sand. Difference between us is that I got back up. A friend of mine had his fiancee cheat on him. When he was away on business, the woman he was getting ready to marry was bumping and grinding with another dude, in my friend's bedroom (he and the fiancee lived together). My friend grieved for a year but he got back up. He is engaged again. I don't know 10 more girls that I can ask. And I'm not going to ask out random girls I see on the street. Why not? I've done it. You might be pleasantly surprised!
somedude81 Posted February 19, 2012 Posted February 19, 2012 What is the contradiction? You say to let go of the urgency, and other people tell me to ask out girls as soon as I meet them.
somedude81 Posted February 19, 2012 Posted February 19, 2012 You don't know what rejection is. Sorry, but you don't. And back when I was much younger and clueless about women, I had a long-term crush tell me to get lost. Not "we can be friends" but "get lost, don't talk to me". If that's not rejection then I don't know what is. And yeah, that's happened to me a few times.
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