she is starting to try and contact me again, i told her not to if she couldnt work th

[rd1978]

ok we have been done for 5 weeks,, told her not to call me no contact whatsoever,, so she told me she misses me after a couple of days,, so i said NO contact whatever you have to do ,, do it,, if you dont feel you cannot work this out we cant talk,,,.so i told her lets give it some time...

 

so she called me for days after that i refused to awnser,, because i dont want to be strung alone, and she is def not havnign her cake and eat it to with some ugly dude that she grew atached to because he was nice ...so she has begun to im me after to weeks then she called a couple of times so i finally awnsered thatw as the last thing she expected,, she was estatic that i did and sounded all happy.... but we didnt talk about much i was telling her i was running an errand and i was there so i had to go ,, so i left it like,,,,, hey listen i have to get going but i guess ill talk to you sometime maybe,, and left it like that,,, let me remind you i havent contacted her at all and fo all she knows i have another girl in the pic now,, Last time i talked i told her i love you more than anything but im going to move on if you dont want to work it out,,, so im sure she is wondering her little head off about what and who ive been doing,, even though she is hangin out with this other guy,, which i already knew and dealt with.... the call i awnsered was yesterday

 

 

so there was this other guy in the pic,, that was asking her to hang out etc. etc. we would get into small fights and it would be like well fine ill go hang out with so and so ,,he wants to be more than friends and shows an interest,,, or something like ill go hang out at someone's apartement... just acting childesh... BUt honestly i didnt give it my all,, i know she loved me more than anything and tried and tried,, maybe tried to much maybe i took it for granted somewhat,, I ddint give her the affection she needed,, for what reason's i dont know , and if i dont try we wont ever know if itll work,, so this kid isnt anything great porb just treating her right and filling her head with lines,,, Ishe is very jelious of everything i do ,, i also have alot of girl friends which i told her i would drop for her,, and i told her i would spend alot more { quality time} i know she wanted to believe everything i said and not to fall back in the same old rut, and my love for her is much more now than it ever was {but i am def getting over her}i just look at things in a differnt light with this time apart,, and i knew she couldnt jump right back into anything because it wouldnt have changed if we didnt give it time time

 

im kinda wondering what the HELL she is thinking ,, like i said i dont want to be a di*k to her but i dont want her thinking im waiting around for her to have her fun,,i really do think i know how she feels but this time is by far the best thing that could have happened for us whether we get back / or we bolth move on... im just so sick of stupid immature games,, but i feel like i have to play them with her even though i told her im done with games

ANY ADVIcE WOULD BE APPRECIATED im dealing with this much much better aS THE WEEKS GO ON but i wishe more than anything she would have taken her time alone to think rather than run off with the dude to keep her mind busy,, im almost sure ittl bite her in the ass when she calms down and realizes what she did,, she is a good girl going thru a semi bad girl phase goiogn out drinking blah blah,,, but she has calmed down alot and is relaizing { i hope} i cant stress enough how i told her not to call me if she didnt feel it could be worked out,,

[genie]

It sure sounds like you are doing everything right as far as the no contact. I sure do envy you for being so strong. I just feel all you can do now is wait and see if she has a change in heart and wants to try again. Good luck and stay strong.

[rd1978]

dont get me wrong i do miss her,,, and i know she is missing me to and the more time goes ont he more i think she will,, she was out having her fun drinking hanging out with someone new... etc. etc. but it gets old like anything else,, she is SCARED real scared,, she did everything she could to get out of this relationship including making sure she had someone to hang out with when we were done,, which im not a fan of,,, because thats bull,,,,, i know she is scared to contact me she knows i wont awnser,, and im not going to at least not untill next week,, its funny because,, she wants to call thats fine,, but if i were to call her,, i would get a WHAT DO YOU WANT.. where she can act all tough and bitchy to make herself on thop of the world,, she deff has her issues of lack of self esteem so she makes up for it by trying to act tough,, but i know her games ,, but the thing im not a fan of is her lies, and her instability ,,, whoever she thinks she is right now is not her... she is trying to be somone else.... i feel like im playing a big game , although im not caring much anymore because it's childish,, and it only makes me want to be with her less,, 1 week after we brok up i saw her out with this kid and she was all of a sudden holding his hand and hugging him like right in front of me ,, i was about to beat his ass but it wastn worth it i ddint want to give her that satisfaction it was like her new prize... kinda funny though because she downgraded big time .... but she was feeling all big and mighty there for a while,, if the tables were turned and she saw me with a girl her heart would break in a million pieces and she would realize what the hell she was doing,, or even if she heard i was with someone,, she would run straight to this new guy then realize and not know what the hell to do,,, the thing is i was honest with her and told her what i wantd and told her NO GAMES but that just made her feel better about herself and be able to walk away easier and it just baught her more time ,,, so she thinks { i would just like to find a nice girl who's been thru the crap and understands what she wants and what it takes to be in a relationship,,,,,

[genie]

As much as you miss her and as much as you hurt, you sound very solid. You sound like a very mature person and knows what he wants. That is attractive to people with that incommon. Your ex is playing games, but I honestly feel she isn't doing it on purpose, she is just really screwed up. Keep up the good work and maybe the right will come by soon, maybe it is your ex. Let her grow up.

[rd1978]

you know im not going to lie ,, i played games with her i didnt put in %110,, but i didnt because i didnt want to be that couple that jumped into something and was married in 2 years and divorced in 5 esp...esp.. since it was bolth our first relationships.. and not knowing anything else tends to make people wonder ,, you tend to learn from every relationship,,,,, but the thing is she was this way, that way, up ,down, all around she could confuse the hell out of herself by what kind of icecream she wanted,,in a lose term kind unstable but she was always there for me,,, i didnt pull the full 100% in because i was scared by the unstableness and the fact that i knew nothing else ,, but didnt want to lose her at the same time,, which isnt fair for either of us,, all i can say is i dont argue or fight with anyone i have no enemies , i know many many people girls guys ect that would do anything for me ,, but for some reason this girl got on my nervs big time always complained and draged me down but she wouldnt do it around anyone else only the people she gets close to so when or if she gets close to this kid the **** id going to hit the fan because she is very anal

[stareyes]

wow. u sound EXACTLY what im going thru. im the girl in the relationship with a new guy etc, etc. its been a year with this new guy and u saound exactly like my x. whatever he has done , has worked. i still think about him everyday and want him back now (ithink). so ill just remind you, keep doin what ur doing. play the game , you have to. and also kept the laid back attitude, act confident, it works. us girls dont even know why, but it does. no girl wants to be told what to do and ur x may be going through a phase, but let time run its course. sex is sex, but love is different. she is going to do what she wants for now but dont let it get to you. if she comes back, she comes back and ur relationship wll be stronger than ever. good luck

[rd1978]

yeah like i said it needed to be done,, we lost respect and the great feeling for one another,, there are curiosity's that neede to be fullfilled before we could be at peace with each other,, this power trip thing is annoying the hell out of me,, I dont know who in the hell she thinks she is,, she started playing this game like a month before we plit where shewas mean to me so i would be nice { ya know how that goes,, so i think she got the idea she could buy herself some time,, and it prob made her feel better about herself,,and this guy,, and he friends and her new job,, and SUMMER.... But i know her and she is going to cling on to this guy unless we work things out and i know she is scared to call because she called for a week straight and i would not return or awnser any calls { i already told her what i wanted so i felt there was no reqason to talk and if she had something she really needed to say she could write an email,, the day after i refused to talk to her she was out at all the bars i would normally go to with this joke,holding hands ,, its just so funny how she is trying to make me jelious but she broke it off,, something doesnt sound right,,, she is really insecure ,, although she is a beatifull girl i got complimented all the time,,,

 

so now i fig ill just stay away from the bars and go elswhere for a while to make her wonder and think what the hell im up to,, i refues to call her { she knows what i wanted} if she call im not awnsering,,, only so often,,, IT SUCKS i hate games but the mind needs to feel like it challenged before it can truly realize what it doesnt have and the reality to this,,, the new guy will get old,, if she is truly in love with me,,, its just something different and new and exciting she is experiencing,, but this kid has wanted to be with her for a while and really likes her so im sure he treats her extremly well,,,,, But i know she is still thinking about me because she calls or im's i just refuse to let the calls or im's go to the next level we need our space and she needs to lose her comfort,,, { she had said to me my biggest fear is if i take some time to myself to think { which it seems like she isnt doing much of because she keeps herself busy} then that ill lose you forever and ill be stuck by myself..... that could be like i dont want to lose you forever or// i just dont want to be bymyself.... But for all i know maybe she is over me and really likes this kid,, i mean our relationship got pretty boring and we didnt do much towards the end ,, we got comfortable,, and i know they go out,,nd go to baseball games and what not,, but she still calls? and she was the 2 months ago telling me she wanted to work this out in tears telling me she was going to do whatever she could to fix this relationship ,, and she WASNT going to let it go down the tubes,,, maybe she got tired of trying because this guy constantly asked her to hang out?...All i know is she is being strong.. [ things are helping her} the whole pewer trip thing annoys me BUT { what comes up must come down } She really needs to hear ive been seing someon else,, or se me with some one else so she know i am moving on if she wants to play games,,, your rigth sex is sex and love is love when your the one sleeping around it doesnt seem like a big deal but to the other person,, its the world ,, i know she is probally banging this guy ,, BUt honestly if there isnt any love there then its semi meanlingess and its just sex..... Dont get me wrong im having my fun to but im making sure the girls understand im not ready for anything but to have my fun......... and if she does come back and we can bolth accept what was done inbetween ,, ill be everything she ever wanted.....

[beautiful]

Its a game the both of you are playing.!

Work on yourself and get some help and move on.

Good Luck

[slimmontana]

This is pretty interesting stuff I would like toknow how it all shakes out in the end..This type of stuff happens with YOUNG LOVE. Trust me I been through it as a matter of fact of going through it now..but you are doing all the right things to echo a sentiment of another poster...stay strong!

[stareyes]

well i didnt realize she brings her guy in front of you- that is just plain wrong if she knows u want her. WHATS THE GAME HERE? BUT you are doing the right thing by staying away from those bars cause either way- she will wonder what your up too, if your happy where you are, and at the same time you wont be hurt seeing her with him and u will slowly think of her less and less.

 

Im trying to give advice - not sure if you want it , cause you are doing a good job!!! But stay strong from not pickin up her calls, however pick up sometimes , act like your happy whether you are or arent. dont act like a tough guy but dont be too nice. i think you can TEll her you love her and what not . You see in my case i was with new guy but loved to hear how my x still loved me. i never told him i was confised (maybe I WAS seeing if new guy was better than him) he just knew it, which showed me he understands everyone is human. maybe she had doubts in you. this is what happened with us- new guy is perfect, gorgeous, responsible, etc. etc, HE IS Better than x in many ways however, i love my x. and i learned no matter what comes along nothoing will stop my love .

anyway, i dont want to get ur hopes up cause not all girls are the same. she may want to stay with her new guy, who knows. but it will kill her to see u happy without her (well, maybe) but it cant hurt cause if it doesnt kill her, and u act sad without her- that will push her away more. also , its better for ur self to act happy & try to be truely happy. sometimes when u act happy with yourself , you find that u are happy in a way. so while u are trying to act happy and have fun without her, you are focusing on something else- yourself., and losing the thought of her constantly. i dont know if im making any sense so ill end here. if u have questions, please ask.

[rd1978]

im going to use the words insecure,, i would NEVER hold hands in front of my ex,, with someone a week after i just broke up with them,, regardless if i was the dumper of dumpee,, it just plain not right, she made an obvious show of it,, as i write this now,,,she is trying to instant message me but im not replying,, not to be cocky because i am not that way ,, i am alot better looking than this guy hes not all that good looking and hes really tall and really skinny ,, but its not event that he seems like a nice guy he dressed and looked like a punk......although i am sure he tells her what she needs to hear..... i think she is either realizing what is starting to happen it's been 6 weeks,, or she is realizing this kid wasnt what she thaguth it was going to be,, because she is now trying to contact me more and more..... i think the fact that i let her be and showed no interest scared the crap out of her,, the longest we have gone without talking is like maybe 1 week,,,,, now its to the point where i feel if i ignore her a little more then it wont be a like well ill show him,,, she is going to get the feeling that im done for good, which i very well could be.... i realized no matter what she says or did being angry is onyl going to make it worse,, im not sad i would never act sad infront of her,, this time was the best thing possible ,, i just wish she would have kept her legs closed and thaught about what she wanted,,, she nees to grown up and stop beeing so immature,, its just annoying becasue i told her no contact and esp if we are hanging out withother people,, but she keeps trying to get ahold of me ,, of the times in the past 2 weeks the one time i wansered the phone i never really foiund out why she called in the first place,, and if i do ignore her for a little more you think that would just piss her off and make her angry ,, or more along the lines of make her miss me,, im thinking about responding maybe the next time she tries to contact me