I really don't want virgin women

[insertnamehere]

Don't want virgin women? Move to Ohio. Problem solved.

 

So ends another edition of Easy Answers to Easy Questions. Tune in next week when we address, "Where I can I find a man with a Texas accent?"

[oaks]

Yes, I know it's not normal to be a virgin at this age, but why do people feel like it's a red flag?

 

I think you answered your own question. Some people like "normal" so much that they come out with pitchforks and burning torches for anything else.

 

(I'm not saying that's right or fair, just how it is.)

[Canguy]

I don't blame you. The '"bleeding" issue would only happen the first and maybe second time you had sex with a girl, so that really shouldn't be that much of a concern. And you are right, if you take a girl's virginity she is bound to grow very attached to you. Or perhaps not. Some lose their virginity with a guy and enjoy it so much that they want to experience many different dicks. Hahahahahaha I've heard it go either way.

 

I wouldn't want to be with a man who is a virgin because dude would last about 2 seconds and most likely be a fumbling idiot. No thanks.

 

 

Yea, hahahaha, you call these type of girls sluts, plain and simple, done deal stamped.

[FredRutherford]

Originally Posted by Cypress25

There are a million reasons why someone might still be a virgin past a certain age. It doesn't necessarily mean they're conservative or have a narrow-minded view of sex. That's the problem with your attitude: you think "virgin" is a personality trait. Virginity has nothing to do with your personality. You're lumping all older virgins together as if they have the same personality type and the same view of sex. They don't.

 

 

 

Try dating girls you actually like. Then waiting a few months for sex won't seem like torture to you.

 

 

 

Poor baby! How you must have suffered! You didn't like her anyway, so what were you doing with her? By the way, 8 months is nothing.

 

 

I must admit, 8 months does seem quite excessive.

 

I'd wait 8 mos. or even more, if it were the right girl, and I saw a future with her.

My future wife, she wasn't a virgin in her 30s when we met, but only had one other partner years before we met.

 

We didn't ML until 3-4 mos. into the relationship.

 

She didn't resist my sexual moves. Asked her one night on the couch if I could unbutton her shirt.... (wanted to explore).

She saw through that of course and asked if we could wait to a future weekend (we were in an LDR).

Really, wasn't in any hurry so had no problem with that.

 

Even if she said as a Christian woman that she wanted to wait until marriage/ engagement, at that age (I had just turned 30), honestly, I would have waited and wouldn't have had any problem with her stance.

[FredRutherford]

I'm a 28 year old female virgin. Mostly it's because I was always really, really shy around guys, and very introverted. I have a sex drive, but I'm just super shy. Yes, I know it's not normal to be a virgin at this age, but why do people feel like it's a red flag?

 

Wouldn't have been a red flag to me in my late 20s.

Actually preferred dating virgins, but was merely a preference, not a requirement.

Plus, a guy wouldn't know a woman's a virgin early in the dating.

 

@26, once dated for 6 mos. a 30 y.o. virgin.

She confided that fact to me. And she wasn't some politically conservative woman, the opposite. She was more leftist and not my cup of politics.

 

I didn't press her for sex and wasn't really considering that though TBH, might not have turned her down had she offered herself to me...

.

She told me she saw us getting engaged, and I was patient. That was my first real adult relationship.

 

Really, there's no hurry.

And you shouldn't feel low of yourself for not having sex.

[FredRutherford]

Maybe your own issues are painting the numbers, but I don't believe that at all, and although I'm nowhere near 25, if I was a 25 year old virgin, I wouldn't care.

 

I'd had a girl or two come onto ME, but since I didn't just screw them at the time, there's something wrong with me? Must not be if I could confidently turn down a female while some of the guys on here can't even approach one. Maybe there is no correlation between one's virginity and their mental state.

 

That happens quite often. Have read about virgin men here and on other boards turning down "opportunities" bec. they didn't really have feelings for the girl or didn't feel right about it.

 

Lost mine @17-18 to my steady HS GF, waaaaaaaaaaaaay too early IMO, but became of faith in college and tried to live a sexually responsible life.

 

But rarely getting second or third dates --- from women who didn't know I existed --- not getting any handholding, kissing or hugging !!! -- that can sometimes make a guy do things he shouldn't....

 

Started feeling desperate in my mid-20s and took advantage of a couple of "opportunities" @25-26, oddly, within a month of each other and like a week before I met a woman I almost married --- my first real adult relationship.

 

Thing was, the casual sex made me feel even lower than I had being a semi-virgin in my mid-20s....

So declined some other casual sex offers I got in my late 20s....

 

So in hindsight... would have preferred to remain sexually responsible through my 20s...

[FredRutherford]

This is true, in the very few times I confessed my virginity IRL, I was met with slight disbelief. It did not help me to do so. I have considered not disclosing it, but lying is never a good idea. I'm still at a juxtaposition as to how I am going to successfully date a woman knowing I will have to disclose my lack of experience at some point.

 

Tell a woman who asks you such personal and invasive questions that you don't feel comfortable discussing that.

 

Or... turn the tables on her.

Start peppering HER with questions about HER sexual history.

 

Watch her squirm and get uncomfortable and quickly change the subject, especially if she's a "Christian" woman. Yes, have read many of them too "think less" if they learn the guy isn't "experienced.":(

 

Really, sex shouldn't come up early in a regular relationship, unless one of the partners only wants to get into the woman's pants...

 

If she presses you or you feel she won't stay with you, tell her something like this:

 

Look, sex is important to me and I want to make my time with women meaningful.

Casual sex is empty and I want to ML to someone -- making love as putting your heart, soul and passion into the other....

I value our relationship and want to see our future. I don't want to mess-up what could be a great relationship here...

See how that kinda evades a direct question designed to intimidate an inexperienced guy?

Edited April 4, 2012 by FredRutherford

[mark 40]

I don't blame you. The '"bleeding" issue would only happen the first and maybe second time you had sex with a girl, so that really shouldn't be that much of a concern. And you are right, if you take a girl's virginity she is bound to grow very attached to you. Or perhaps not. Some lose their virginity with a guy and enjoy it so much that they want to experience many different dicks. Hahahahahaha I've heard it go either way.

 

I wouldn't want to be with a man who is a virgin because dude would last about 2 seconds and most likely be a fumbling idiot. No thanks.

 

this is a prime example of the disdain women have for virgins, using terms like idiot. sex crazed, mean, nasty. this is what today's women have become.

[RiverRunning]

This issue brought up a bit of a problem in my last relationship: I lost my virginity to him when I was 21 and he was 26, but his virginity was long-gone to an ex-girlfriend. He was at the point in his life where he was fine with the idea of sleeping with ONLY me for the rest of his life. And of course, I was curious. Maybe even on some petty level I envied that he had gotten to experience another woman, but I'd never get to have that experience so long as we were together.

 

Of course...there were other issues dissolving all that...

 

I'm in my mid-20s now. It's pretty much a guarantee that I WON'T find a virgin. At this point in my life, that doesn't really bother me anymore unless he's the type of guy who will sleep with anything who walks. If he's got under 5 partners, and especially under 3, I'm happy. If I knew a guy had been with more than 5 partners, I'd probably not be interested.

 

I think it's fair if you aren't a virgin to want someone more experienced. Just like, if you're a virgin, it's acceptable to want someone who's also a virgin. No harm either way.

[mark 40]

This issue brought up a bit of a problem in my last relationship: I lost my virginity to him when I was 21 and he was 26, but his virginity was long-gone to an ex-girlfriend. He was at the point in his life where he was fine with the idea of sleeping with ONLY me for the rest of his life. And of course, I was curious. Maybe even on some petty level I envied that he had gotten to experience another woman, but I'd never get to have that experience so long as we were together.

 

Of course...there were other issues dissolving all that...

 

I'm in my mid-20s now. It's pretty much a guarantee that I WON'T find a virgin. At this point in my life, that doesn't really bother me anymore unless he's the type of guy who will sleep with anything who walks. If he's got under 5 partners, and especially under 3, I'm happy. If I knew a guy had been with more than 5 partners, I'd probably not be interested.

 

I think it's fair if you aren't a virgin to want someone more experienced. Just like, if you're a virgin, it's acceptable to want someone who's also a virgin. No harm either way.

 

there is harm. read what shannonmi posted. virgins above a certain age are disdained, mocked and laughed at but not slept with.

[matte123]

It's not wrong. It's just one of your requirements for a relationship but I think being a "jealous freak" is a personality issue rather than your ex being a virgin. Some of the virgin posters here shouldn't worry about their virginity being deal breakers. There are plenty of people who will still date virgins. Just have sex whenever you feel like the time is right for you. I've had a few friends who had regretted losing their virginity too early. I'm going to stay a virgin until marriage. Don't know how long that will take but it'll come when it comes. Maybe I'll be an old granny by then hehehe

[mark 40]

It's not wrong. It's just one of your requirements for a relationship but I think being a "jealous freak" is a personality issue rather than your ex being a virgin. Some of the virgin posters here shouldn't worry about their virginity being deal breakers. There are plenty of people who will still date virgins. Just have sex whenever you feel like the time is right for you. I've had a few friends who had regretted losing their virginity too early. I'm going to stay a virgin until marriage. Don't know how long that will take but it'll come when it comes. Maybe I'll be an old granny by then hehehe

 

for a woman it's acceptable to some. for a man, its a deal break among deal brakers. the plenty of people are men. a woman who'd date a virgin at my age of 40 is very very very rare.

[mark 40]

Why? Boys have higher drives of sex. You guys are all horny horn dogs you have no excuse to be an older virgin. Girls take time to get warmed up. It's simple biology. Men are hunters and girls like to be pursued. Get used to it.

 

this is how it is. the hate she shows against virgins is palpable. get used to being a virgin is right.

[matte123]

for a woman it's acceptable to some. for a man, its a deal break among deal brakers. the plenty of people are men. a woman who'd date a virgin at my age of 40 is very very very rare.

 

It's not a deal breaker for all I would still date a 40 year old virgin if I was interested in him and if I was around my mid thirties or older. I guess it really comes down to personal preferences. As you can see from above, age would be one of my deciding factors, not virginity.

[mark 40]

It's not a deal breaker for all I would still date a 40 year old virgin if I was interested in him and if I was around my mid thirties or older. I guess it really comes down to personal preferences. As you can see from above, age would be one of my deciding factors, not virginity.

 

you're younger than the mid 30s? will you think the same way when you get there? maybe you're the one in a million?

[matte123]

you're younger than the mid 30s? will you think the same way when you get there? maybe you're the one in a million?

 

Hahaha yeah..I'm in my early twenties. I believe I will think the same way. My views concerning relationships have been pretty consistent from when I was a teen till now. Nah I believe there are some people who share the same view as me. There are just too many people in this world that it would be impossible just to have one opinion on this.

[Pierre]

As a 25 year-old man I prefer a woman within my age range that knows what she wants, I don't have to worry too much about not hurting her feelings, has goals in life and I can have a future with. I don't want to deal with possible bleeding nor emotional attachment issues.

 

IMO I think virgins should be with virgins. Other than that, I don't feel like teaching (I taught once as a 19 year-old, not this time).

 

I just recently turned down an older virgin women (she was 3 yrs older than me) my cousin try to set me up. Someone called me a jerk for that but I was simply being honest. I don't want to then end up feeling responsible if the relationship doesn't go right. I'm I the only man that refuses to date virgin women?

 

If you prefer a well used vagina with a lot of mileage so be it.

 

An experienced woman is not necessarily more horny or better in bed than a virgin.

[RedRobin]

If you prefer a well used vagina with a lot of mileage so be it.

 

An experienced woman is not necessarily more horny or better in bed than a virgin.

 

Neither is an experienced man. Especially when the penis is attached to a hypocrite.

[musemaj11]

I dont understand why virginity in a woman is so highly prized by many men.

 

Honestly a whore has higher value in my eyes than a virgin woman. Whenever I hear a virgin woman, I picture a woman who is like a dead fish laying still on the bed knowing nothing to do. Such a turn-off.

[TimmyTuckerR]

If you prefer a well used vagina with a lot of mileage so be it.

 

An experienced woman is not necessarily more horny or better in bed than a virgin.

I'm just not interested in teaching everything from the start nor doing all the guiding. I want her to show me her tricks too.

 

If I have to do all the leading, it's a waste of time for me. I'm done with the ''taking things very slowly and waiting for X months till or a year'' stage.

[TimmyTuckerR]

I dont understand why virginity in a woman is so highly prized by many men.

They want an experienced freak in bed that's a virgin at the same time, which obviously doesn't exist.

Honestly a whore has higher value in my eyes than a virgin woman. Whenever I hear a virgin woman, I picture a woman who is like a dead fish laying still on the bed knowing nothing to do. Such a turn-off.

Not just that but there can be blood and the girl then develops an ''Will you be with me forever now'' thing.

[CrystalCastles]

Not just that but there can be blood and the girl then develops an ''Will you be with me forever now'' thing.

\

 

Wow. That statement is so ridiculous I don't even know where to start.

 

It's not a virgin thing to develop an attachment. It's a woman thing. And not every woman is going to be that way. I wasn't. You're making some very big generalizations and it annoys me how you try to make virginity sound like a bad thing, which it is not.

 

When I was a virgin I knew exactly what turned me on. I looked at provocative paintings and photos and masturbated almost every night. I also knew which places I got the most arousal from, and which positions were the best. I never watched porn because I didn't need to. I'm a woman in case that wasn't clear.

 

Waiting for the right man to have sex with isn't the disgrace you make it sound. A woman should have the freedom to choose what to do with her body without some guy urging her to drop her pants already.

[TimmyTuckerR]

\

 

Wow. That statement is so ridiculous I don't even know where to start.

 

It's not a virgin thing to develop an attachment. It's a woman thing. And not every woman is going to be that way. I wasn't. You're making some very big generalizations and it annoys me how you try to make virginity sound like a bad thing, which it is not.

 

When I was a virgin I knew exactly what turned me on. I looked at provocative paintings and photos and masturbated almost every night. I also knew which places I got the most arousal from, and which positions were the best. I never watched porn because I didn't need to. I'm a woman in case that wasn't clear.

 

Waiting for the right man to have sex with isn't the disgrace you make it sound. A woman should have the freedom to choose what to do with her body without some guy urging her to drop her pants already.

Off course she can choose what she wants to do. No one if forcing her, which is why I'm not the one to keep on waiting many months or 1-2 years for a relationship to finally get to that stage. I'm not the guy for her.

 

You must be an exception but in general, they don't know what they're doing and do get attached quicker than an experienced woman. I actually had a terrible experience with a virgin long ago.

[Titania22]

And was it the best 2 minutes of your life?

 

I wrote that post a year and a half ago. And I never said it was good, just that I did it. I got many other perks to compensate me.

[emva07]

The whole attachment thing can go both ways.

 

Sometimes when a man takes a girl's virginity he feels like he owns her and will never stop calling/taunting her even when she moves on because she is "his".

 

I lost my virginity to one of my friends because I never wanted a man to feel entitled to feel i was "his" for the rest of my life....and yes also because I didn't want to lose it to a douchebag relationship that I would later regret losing it too. If I had lost it to my ex ( I met him almost a year later),I would be really mad to have that memory with him.

 

Yes I know, it sounds stupid, but there is a method to my madness. I come from a culture where virginity is a huge ****in deal to men and once a man takes your virginity he "owns" you. So to avoid being anyone's property I lost it to a friend. That way any man who was with me moving forward was with me for me and not because I was a virgin.

Edited August 29, 2013 by emva07