Angel40 Posted February 17, 2012 Posted February 17, 2012 Hi guys I'm Angel, pleased to meet you all. Here is my question. An ex boyfriend Dave who I'm on speaking terms with, (we ended our relationship twelve years ago) is on my facebook. I noticed one of his friends whose name is Adam had posted something on his wall and he was really cute, so I asked my ex Dave to put in a little word for me and tell Adam I was interested. Dave told me that Adam, thought I was nice but was apprehensive as I am Dave's ex. Dave advised me to message Adam as I had nothing to lose. Adam has only been seperated from his wife since November, she has left him for someone else, so I know he must be hurt and needs to heal etc, he also has a little boy who is his priority in this break up. we have been emailing each other a few times a week now for the past month. The emails have gone from getting to know you emails to very flirty, yet he hasn't asked me out on a date yet, but obviously due to the nature of how we met he knows I am interested. His marriage has definitely ended as he said he could not forgive adultery. If the emails have recently become a lot more flirty do you think he is interested, but just not ready for dating anyone? Or he just needs more time before asking me out? Or do you think he may just be being flirty online and doesn't want anything else except to be online friends? How should I handle this situation? Any advice would be appreciated. With thanks and regards, Angel x
veggirl Posted February 17, 2012 Posted February 17, 2012 I'd be very very very careful. I wouldn't get involved with someone so soon after a separation, I mean he isn't even divorced yet, he shouldn't be dating really. There is no way he is ready. If you are looking for a LTR, don't bother with this guy. If you just want some fun, go for it.
salparadise Posted February 17, 2012 Posted February 17, 2012 He certainly needs more time, as in about a year and a half, before he'll be ready for another relationship. Whether he realizes this or not, only he knows. Regardless, his emotions are going to be all over the place and he has a lot of work to do. If you begin a relationship with him now it's unlikely to be successful as he'll be bringing a lot of baggage into it. I'd say keep it friendly and stay in touch. He probably won't be ready even when he thinks he is. A lot of older (wiser) women refuse to go out with anyone who is fresh out of a serious relationship, and especially a marriage. BTW, he's still married and probably will be for another year unless he can prove adultery, which is unlikely. Maybe he has potential down the road, but the time in not right.
Author Angel40 Posted February 17, 2012 Author Posted February 17, 2012 Thanks Veggirl for your advice it was very kind of you. x Zeus, wow who got out on the wrong side of the bed this morning, you need to go and wash your mouth out with soap using such abusive language. If you can't be civil or constructive don't advise anything. Peace be with you x
Author Angel40 Posted February 17, 2012 Author Posted February 17, 2012 Thank you Salparadise, your post makes a lot of sense we are only friends at the moment, and I am happy for it to stay that way. I would not want to be a rebound girl or FWB. If we are meant to get together at some point I'm sure we will xx
poodle Posted February 17, 2012 Posted February 17, 2012 I don't think he's interested yet. If he were he would have asked you out already. Maybe he just needs time to get used to his marriage being over.
Author Angel40 Posted February 17, 2012 Author Posted February 17, 2012 Stop being a selfish bitch and leave the guy alone, so he can heal and take care of his boy. NOW, GET! GET! Zeus, wow who got out on the wrong side of the bed this morning, you need to go and wash your mouth out with soap using such abusive language. If you can't be civil or constructive don't advise anything. Oh and you are obviously a man who has been very hurt by someone, bless, Peace be with you x
mtber75 Posted February 17, 2012 Posted February 17, 2012 If he's flirting with you, yeah you should ask him out or be more forward? He just might have too much on his plate to be dating right now thus the hesitation. But it doesn't hurt to ask him for a friendly get together. Besides, dating is probably what he needs to cope!
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