Dibbs Posted February 17, 2012 Posted February 17, 2012 (edited) Long story short. We were together for about 10 months. It was definitely the best time of our lives (she told me that many times even after bu), the emotions were so high, we were so in love with each other it was hard to believe it, the sexual attraction was really enormous, we like and dislike the same things... etc. It really felt like we belong together. Unfortunately I've done and said some really stupid things (we're both 23 yo), but I never cheated on her. I was afraid to commit and I was telling her the exact opposite of how I really felt about her. One day she just couldn't put up with this anymore and decided to leave me. And it changed me right away. This really opened my eyes, I understood she was really the one for me, but I took her for granted and never told her how I really feel about her. I was devastated, I've done all the things they say not to do after being dumped. Begging, crying, promising I would change, flowers, letters, big romantic gestures... literally everything This went on for a few months. Basically she was keeping contact, I didn't really know why she was doing it since she broke up with me. Now I see it was only typical breadcrumbs. This was only creating false hope for me. Every time she contacted me I thought it was a sign she wants to reconcile, but that wasn't the case. She had some weaker moments, telling me she misses me, she thinks about us etc. but it didn't realy meant anything. After about 4 months I told her not to contact me unless she wants to talk about us and reconcile. We kept no contact for about 1 month and I was starting to move on and getting my life back together. But one day I looked at my phone and saw a missing call from her... First I ignored it, assuming she must have dialed my number by accident or something. I don't really know why I did it but after a couple of days I asked her on FB why she called back then. After a few short conversations she said that it was something important and that she can tell me about it when we meet if I want to. I asked her to be sure, If she wants to talk about us, and she said yes. Unfortunately she's really busy with her studies and work right now and she can't get along with her mom (still lives with her parents) so she wasn't in mood to serious talk or she she simply didn't have free time. We tried to meet up for over a week, I didn't insist because I didn't want to come across needy. But the longer this went on the more frustrated I was getting because I really wanted to get back with her and I still love her so much but I had to play tough and indifferent. So I insisted we meet on Valentines day, joking it's the perfect day for a conversation like the one we were about to have. She replied it's a good idea and I thought everything is going in the right direction and I will finally win her back. So I text her on V-day around noon, telling I will pick her up from work in the evening and take her to my place, where I had my room prepared, full of candles and a dinner which I made myself. She replied after some time something like "I don't know if this meeting is a good idea"... I was in total shock... after all she was the one that broke NC and wanted to meet and talk about us... I asked her what happened she changed her mind and she just replied she is afraid and that she thinks things are better for us like they are now. She called me later after work to talk about it, she seemed really unsure about all of this. I told her that what she is doing is really unfair and childish. She agreed and said we probably have to meet and talk about all this afterall. We had a nice long conversation, a lot of reminiscing about how we were great together and stuff. She said she's busy right now but she'll let me know when we can meet... Yesterday morning she asked me if I'm free tomorrow from 11:30 to 1 pm. I just came back from lunch with her. I guess it went pretty ok. We both said how we feel about us. She said she has sometimes weaker moments when she really wants us back together but then she changes her mind. She told me that generally she never comes back to something that ended for a reason but she can't help thinking about me even after 6 months after BU and that she knows what we had was really special. I proposed in my eyes the most reasonable solution in this situation. I told her that these thoughts probably won't go away quickly and we both might think until the end of our lives what it would be like if we decided to reconcile. So the best thing to do is to take it slowly, renew contact, call each other and talk, hang out, go to some movie, for a walk or on dinner etc. and see how it feels like after some time. Of course without any declarations and expectations so that nobody gets hurt again. I made it clear I don't want to be friends and that this period of slowly getting to know each other again will be just to see if there's a real chance if we can be together eventually. She agreed it's a good and reasonable idea but she clearly stated she can't promise anything and that "we will see"... Tell me what you think of this situation. Thank a lot! Edited February 17, 2012 by Dibbs
Love_sick_me Posted February 17, 2012 Posted February 17, 2012 (edited) I quickly read through your story. You probably feel really uncertain about this, because it seemed like you really left the ball in her court. Just don't over think this. She obviously still misses you and still thinks about you. It's not a bad place to be in. It sounds like she wants this, and I hope that's the case here. Just make sure you really show her that you have changed. Slowly earn her back. I feel as though if things move too fast both physically and in relationship time, then she'll get scared and wanna push you way. It's a really really delicate time. Just make sure things don't go back to the same cycle again. I guess just go in with no expectations, and treat it as if you're just starting to date again. Good luck Edited February 17, 2012 by Love_sick_me
Tiera D Posted February 19, 2012 Posted February 19, 2012 dude u have a clear mind what u want she is giving u chances,not playing games with u its the best scenario give her a little more space go LC.You are in a scenario i have been 3 months ago,its the decisive period dont screw up like me. good luck TD
Author Dibbs Posted February 19, 2012 Author Posted February 19, 2012 dude u have a clear mind what u want she is giving u chances,not playing games with u its the best scenario give her a little more space go LC.You are in a scenario i have been 3 months ago,its the decisive period dont screw up like me. good luck TD I really hope it's a chance not a game... How did you screw this up exactly?
Tiera D Posted February 19, 2012 Posted February 19, 2012 well dibbs u can always go see my thread and advise me too ..O no matter its a chance or a game u wont know unless u try it since she seems sincere take it slow then.you have one shot only bro,make it count Gl actually,my ex asked me to give her 2 weeks cool down time to consider whether to reconcile or not,me being paranoid screwed that opportunity up.. Hint: to know what kind person is your ex,best way to know is to note how she talk about her exes or treats them TD
Author Dibbs Posted February 20, 2012 Author Posted February 20, 2012 Tomorrow is her birthday... how do you think I should act? Casual wishes by text? call her? go to her place with flowers (well that probably would be stupid)
NopeNah Posted February 20, 2012 Posted February 20, 2012 Text...if that even. She's still asking for space, if I'm reading correctly? I don't even think I'd text tbh..give her space and time alone to miss you.
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