How do I figure out how he feels about marriage without freaking him out?

[kiss_andmakeup]

He's a lucky guy to have you because while he does he can always kiss and make up! He totatly wants to make babies with you.

 

Ha! I hope not. Not so sure I want kids. But I've told him this and he's fine with it.

 

Well usually it's the woman who is afraid to bring it up early on because she's afraid to scare him off. I say why? Scare him off.

 

Nope, you're absolutely right. I talked to him and I didn't scare him off, so mission accomplished.

[Dust]

Ha! I hope not. Not so sure I want kids. But I've told him this and he's fine with it.

 

Well you'e so young and cool its no suprise you arn't thinking about kids now. Maybe you'll change your tune when you're 30.

[hotloader]

I want to clarify before I begin that considering my boyfriend and I have only been together for 9 months, marriage is not something I'm expecting or considering any time soon (years down the line, perhaps).

 

However, I can't help but wonder how he feels about marriage in general. Many men (and women) now (understandably) see marriage as a dying institution and have no interest in ever becoming married, regardless of the success of their relationship.

 

I'm ambiguous about whether I want children and from what I can tell so is my BF. However, I have always wanted to get married when I found the right person, and I still do. I'm a very monogamous, committed person, and I feel that once my relationship develops to a certain point, that marriage is the level of commitment I'd like to have from my partner.

 

That said, my boyfriend has never mentioned a single thing about marriage (and to be fair, neither have I). I just really want to figure out his mindset. If marriage is something he never sees on the horizon for himself, not even necessarily with me as we haven't been together that long, but in general, that's something I'd like to know. How do I have a conversation about this with him without coming across as asking him when we are going to get married?

 

We have a great relationship and I'm extremely happy. I don't want to mess things up by bringing up this topic.

 

Treat him like utter crap for about about two months, and deny him sex so that he has to return to masturbating. If he still seems happy, then you'll know he's the marrying type.

[kiss_andmakeup]

Treat him like utter crap for about about two months, and deny him sex so that he has to return to masturbating. If he still seems happy, then you'll know he's the marrying type.

 

I can barely live without sex for two weeks, let alone two months...but thanks for the advice.

[hotloader]

I can barely live without sex for two weeks, let alone two months...but thanks for the advice.

 

Get a ring on your finger and see how fast that all changes.

[Dust]

Get a ring on your finger and see how fast that all changes.

 

Get out of here they're in love.

[Woggle]

I think that most men are like this guy. When we see the marriages our friends have and how many of them have gone through nasty divorces where she had an affair and all of a sudden wanted out it makes us want no part of it. Also the ones that do stay married tend to become castrated shells of themselves and our worst nightmare is becoming like that so we say we don't marriage but what we don't want is a marriage like that.

 

When we meet a woman that truly is worth it men like myself and Kiss and Makeup's bf tend to want to go all the way with her. Our attitudes about marriage very much depend on whether or not we have a woman in our lives worth marrying.

[carhill]

IMO, the cool thing about being a man who is marriage-centric is that, disclosed, a lady can clearly see if he is marriage-centric about her. If he's not walking the walk, where his actions are clearly leading down that path, either he's not feeling it with her or his actions and words aren't matching which is a canary/red flag.

 

Thanks for the update and best wishes to you and your BF.