brokentreasure Posted February 17, 2012 Posted February 17, 2012 (edited) Honestly, if one were to ask me if I he liked me, I would say yes. Most of his behavior suggests that there is definitively some major interest on his part. He will actively seek me out, randomly approach me, look at me from across the room, playfully nudge me, flirt with me - that sort of thing. He will occasionally text me but our conversations never last too long (he did however text me that when he doesn't see me, his days are not quite the same). We have hung out - most of the time at my request. I get the feeling he's somewhat inexperienced with the whole dating thing (he's only 21). But this has been going on for a few months now (grrr But sometimes, I get the feeling that, while he likes me, he's not actually interested in dating me. I know they say don't make excuses for the boy - if he likes you, you'll know and if he doesn't you'll be confused. But here's the thing, I have a lot of male friends (and female friends too!) that I openly engage with and do things with (without it meaning anything). Quite a few times these guys will approach me in places where my crush will be. They'll hug me, chat with me, laugh with me - the same things I do with the guy I liked. And he sees it. He sees me acting the same with these guys as I do with him - friendly, open, and just myself. Now I'm afraid that this guy thinks I've friendzoned him. I'm afraid he's thinking, 'she treats me like one of the guys - I'm not going to put myself out there for sure rejection'. If you looked at our past conversations and outings one could hypothetically chalk it up to us just being friends. We went out for lunch and then went to a local theater to see a play - which I initiated by saying let's 'hang out'. He picked me up but didn't pay for either of the outings (which I can only assume it was b/c he was afraid to push it as a 'date' when he thinks I only just want to be friends...). So, I'm willing to put myself out there and ask. I can't take this constant torture I put myself through - does he like me? Does he not like me? Does he think we're just friends? I want to try one last time. I want to invite him out on something casual - a run, a bike ride, a coffee and just ask him. Ask him if there's something there b/c there are times when I feel like there are and other times where I feel like he totally just blows me off. People of the internet, I need your voice of reason. What should I do? I am at a loss. Edited February 17, 2012 by brokentreasure
OpenBook Posted February 17, 2012 Posted February 17, 2012 Foolish! Don't ask. You should never have to ask. A guy who is totally into you will want to make sure you never have to guess about him or his intentions. Next!
january2011 Posted February 17, 2012 Posted February 17, 2012 It is neither wise nor foolish. However, if you like him and you're the 'shoot from the hip' type of girl who feels that she has nothing to lose, then I suggest telling him that you've had fun, enjoy spending time with him, are attracted to him and would like to see where this leads. Then ask him what he thinks/how he feels about that.
Author brokentreasure Posted February 17, 2012 Author Posted February 17, 2012 It is neither wise nor foolish. However, if you like him and you're the 'shoot from the hip' type of girl who feels that she has nothing to lose, then I suggest telling him that you've had fun, enjoy spending time with him, are attracted to him and would like to see where this leads. Then ask him what he thinks/how he feels about that. I were to do it, face-to-face would be preferred over text/message right?
january2011 Posted February 17, 2012 Posted February 17, 2012 Yup - text/message is not the best medium for 'relationship talks'.
turt Posted February 17, 2012 Posted February 17, 2012 I were to do it, face-to-face would be preferred over text/message right? Yeah, ask him. It may be the only way to know.
Oxy Moronovich Posted February 17, 2012 Posted February 17, 2012 Foolish! Don't ask. You should never have to ask. A guy who is totally into you will want to make sure you never have to guess about him or his intentions. Next! Ugh! Tired of women using this bogus lie. I guess women who say the bolded part don't know there are shy guys who have a difficult time talking to people.
TheFinalWord Posted February 17, 2012 Posted February 17, 2012 If it will give you peace, then you should do it. I've done it before myself: You get the feeling someone likes you, but you aren't 100% sure. In my case I pretty much knew the answer but needed closure so I asked Ended up, she didn't like me, but at least I had an answer and could move on. Definitely NOT over text. Texting should only be used for brief interactions. Never anything serious or has the slightest potential for misinterpretation.
Author brokentreasure Posted February 17, 2012 Author Posted February 17, 2012 but at least I had an answer and could move on. That's exactly what I'm looking for. Now just have to work up the nerve to do it...
ScienceGal Posted February 17, 2012 Posted February 17, 2012 Make sure you're sending the right signals. Next time you're with him, make great eye contact and listen intently to what he has to say. Make sure to look at his lips sometimes. Smile and laugh. Touch his arm or hand if it's possible. All innocent enough and you won't make a fool of yourself (you seem worried about that). He should get the hint and make an advance if he's interested. Or, he should back off if he is not. Good luck.
tigressA Posted February 17, 2012 Posted February 17, 2012 Don't ask him if he likes you. That's a silly move for anyone to pull and it just makes things awkward. How would you feel if some guy you hung out with just dropped a bomb like "Hey, do you like me? Because I like you..." or something like that? Ick. Ask him out on a date--ask him for coffee or lunch or a movie, in a fun and flirtatious tone. His reaction will tell you all you need to know.
Author brokentreasure Posted February 17, 2012 Author Posted February 17, 2012 Ask him out on a date--ask him for coffee or lunch or a movie, in a fun and flirtatious tone. His reaction will tell you all you need to know. The only problem is that I don't see him daily... so to ask him out it have to resort to other methods... i.e. texts
Titania22 Posted February 17, 2012 Posted February 17, 2012 The only problem is that I don't see him daily... so to ask him out it have to resort to other methods... i.e. texts Then call him on the phone and ask him out. You can psyche yourself up for it and just do it.
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