jyoun Posted February 16, 2012 Posted February 16, 2012 Basically we split up because she was convinced I didn't love her and was seeking another girl. This was and still is not true. I can only admit to not loving her as much as she loved me. I didn't want to break up because I am an optimist and believed I would "catch up" to her someday. Maybe I was lying to myself about that. I also explained to her before the BU that my "distant" behaviour was due to the fact that my close friend's life was on the line and that I was asked to help. My friend is the one she thought I was secretly "in love" with. My friends BF was beating her and strangling her till she passed out, on several occasions, and was threatening to kill her and himself. He believed his GF was "in love" with me, so this also caused me to worry about my own safety along with the safety of my friend and gf. I explained all of this to my GF the night before our BU. She seemed to understand and show concern for what I was going through. So now after 4 months of NC, she sends me this 7 page letter saying I lied about everything and am a horrible person. I was just starting to let go of the guilt of our BU and her words to me haven't put me back to that place again, but I just feel so... I don't know... frustrated, that she is in so much pain over stuff that is so untrue. I realize it's probably her way of coping, to make me out to be an evil hurtful person, and I'm ok with her believing that. I just don't know if I should try yet again to tell her the truth for her sake, or let it go and continue with NC. Also, her parents are supposedly coming over to get some stuff I have of hers. Her mom was equally upset with me during the BU process so I'm scared she'll act out. I want them to get what belongs to her though, I'll probably just set it outside for them to pickup... I'm just not sure how to react if I'm confronted by them.
Philosoraptor Posted February 16, 2012 Posted February 16, 2012 A 7 page angry letter? No, I would not respond to that. You can not help another heal and she will hopefully find a peaceful path. Be the mature adult here and have all of her things to the side and ready to be picked up. Do not react if you are attacked at all by her parents. If you happen to know the time the items are to be picked up you could arrange for a friend to be over or to be out of the property at that point.
Chi townD Posted February 16, 2012 Posted February 16, 2012 OKay, What is the current status between you and this friend that was getting beat up by her BF? What's going on there?
Author jyoun Posted February 16, 2012 Author Posted February 16, 2012 My friend eventually went to the police and the guy went to jail for a period of time. He is out now; they cannot contact each other for two years. I have seen my friend only a handful of times, more so in the beginning because she was suicidal (I would go over and cook food for her and her family, hang out, etc...) My friend is now much better, but still recovering. I'm very proud of her, she has a very strong spirit. We've been good friends most of each others lives. I can't really imagine her as more then a friend, nor do I care to. She has expressed similar feelings towards me.
Recommended Posts