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The importance of having affection reciprocated.


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Posted
Here's an example. I dated a guy who noticed my sink was slightly leaking. Next time he came over, he BROUGHT HIS TOOL BOX WITH HIM, put a washer on the faucet, and FIXED IT FOR ME. Did this impress me? Yes, I was floored.

 

 

 

My current bf has done something similar twice now, and it had the same effect. A man taking initiative to solve a problem when he sees is just.....awesome. Makes me smile every time I look around my place lol. ^-^

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Posted
My current bf has done something similar twice now, and it had the same effect. A man taking initiative to solve a problem when he sees is just.....awesome. Makes me smile every time I look around my place lol. ^-^

 

I know what you mean. Before I got back with the guy this thread is about, I met someone else through a mutual friend. It was never more than friendship, but when I got a flat tire on the way to where we were going he changed it without having to be asked and without complaining. I remember feeling very warm and grateful. Unfortunately, he had some other issues that I couldn't look past, so we're still just friends that see each other once in a while in a mutual circle of friends.

 

And thank you, Graceful. Your insight is always appreciated, and remarkably accurate. I don't have a set of standards, not a clear one at least. I have certain things that I look for, but it's very flexible, too flexible. I trust easily, and maintain the romantic notion that if someone cares enough, anything can be worked out. I end up repeatedly running into walls with this mentality.

 

A large improvement made is that I don't "chase" anymore. Something broke inside of me after my previous relationship ended and when a relationship is over I just let go now. No endless talking, begging, clarifying details, etc. I still grieve, but I have zero interest in making contact. This is important if I am going to progress and find what I so deeply want.

 

I'll get there.

Posted
I've read her other threads, and I would say she definitely prioritized him over her own needs, which was probably why this tiny thing became such a large issue. That's usually how it works---when you're just getting scraps, the scraps become important.

 

Understood, and agreed.

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