Author Kei Morioka Posted February 16, 2012 Author Posted February 16, 2012 Out of curiosity , does he kiss you after you've giving him oral or is he really particular? In my experience, I am kind of turned off/offended if I give oral sex but he won't want to kiss me after. If I can put my mouth right there, he should be able to put his mouth on mouth even after it's been right there. This might indicate how particular he is about this stuff if he doesn't. This is actually something I've read/heard about before, so I've made a point to kiss him after the oral sex on a couple different occasions to judge his reaction. He's always been happy to kiss me every time though. And how does a guy reach adult-hood without being aware that oral sex is a regular part of sex for many, many people? Is he part of an extremely conservative religion or something? He's more agnostic/atheist actually and is pretty liberal in most of his viewpoints. He just an unusually low interest in what other people do in their sex lives (he's expressed this idea verbally before and his choices in erotic materials definitely reflect this). Hardcore porn of any sort doesn't interest him, so it doesn't surprise me personally that he hasn't been exposed to the idea much. Unlike a lot of people here, I haven't dismissed his reaction as simply because he isn't into it and never will be. I think there are some things that you can't say you like or dislike for sure until you've tried them once or twice. With him this is particularly true since he's been slow to relax with other sexual things as well. The first several times there was any sexual touching he'd feel embarrassed afterward. The same was true with the first time we had sex (even though there had been sexual touching for a long time at this point). Although with those two activities I knew beforehand that he viewed them as normal parts of a relationship, whereas with oral sex he doesn't necessarily. Still, I can't help but to hope that maybe if he experienced receiving more or giving at all, he'd become more comfortable with the idea.
Cypress25 Posted February 16, 2012 Posted February 16, 2012 Unlike a lot of people here, I haven't dismissed his reaction as simply because he isn't into it and never will be. I think there are some things that you can't say you like or dislike for sure until you've tried them once or twice. How many times will he have to try it before you believe him when he says he doesn't like it? I had this problem with an ex-boyfriend of mine. I had never tried oral and I didn't want to, but he was convinced that I would like it if I just gave it a chance. He said the same thing: "How do you know you don't like it unless you try it?" So I tried it and hated it. He said I just needed to try it a few more times, and I would learn to like it. Over the course of our relationship, I tried it a few more times and hated it every time. (Had nothing to do with the taste or the smell. I never let him cum in my mouth.) Eventually he had to accept the fact that I just don't like oral sex and never will. Of course, I knew that already. I don't need to stick my head in the garbage can to know it stinks.
Saxis Posted February 16, 2012 Posted February 16, 2012 I certainly wouldn't discount him just yet... Some people really are reluctant to try something new, simply because they've heard elsewhere that it's not good/normal and for whatever reason they trust that source. My GF was like that. The first time I tried with her, I kissed and licked from her mouth and neck, collar bone to nipples, stomach to her hip bone and down her thigh, all the while feeling her get more and more nervous, until I came back up her inner thigh to the crease where it meets her groin. That's when she quickly pulled her knees up and said "Don't do that, I don't like it.". I just smiled, said OK, and we continued. Later that night I asked her about it... She had never received oral from her previous partners because they always told her it was gross. She'd just never been with someone who liked it and really believed that it must be because that's what they all kept telling her. So rather than take the risk of grossing me out, she just told me she didn't like it. I couldn't believe no one had done it to her, as she's very clean and shaven. I assured her I would not be grossed out and that she was quite a perfect candidate for a quality tongue lashing, whenever she was ready. It took some time to build a little trust and her friend urging her to try it, but I finally got my chance. She was still very nervous, but that faded quite quickly. I am now allowed down there whenever I please! Mine was a reversed situation, but I still wouldn't discount him yet. Let him build some more comfort and trust and he should at least be willing to give it a try. If not, shame on him.
Leigh 87 Posted February 17, 2012 Posted February 17, 2012 There are 3 types of guys, relating to oral: 1 - guys who LOVE IT. Obsessed with it. Cannot get enough of it. Will go down on a girl they find attractive the first time they hook up. 2 - guys who hate it, but are willing to try it for girls they LOVE, or if they land a super model, they " cannot help themselves" 3 - guys who flat out will never be able to stomach it, and are not open people to trying new things. Or maybe the 1% of guys who are adventerous in other ways, for some reason, have a dead set AVERSION to oral, despite their otherwise OPEN MINDED nature.. MY boyfriend was a 2. He did not give girls oral, it turnded him off. He tried it with a girl he loves and enjoyed it, and then he tried it on me once he fell in lpove with me, and now he loves seeing me happy. Your boyfriend sounds like he either just is too stuck in his ways, or MAYBE, if u said to him " if we truly love each other, we should be prepared to really try things, in order to mae each other happy...... I understand that a lot of guys do not like the idea of oral. It is not for every one However, I do not think I can be happy with you, l;iving without it. either you try to lean to enjoy it, or at least learn to TRY it, or we are not going to work out" Seriously, some guys are willing to at least DO it. If u have a shower and are very clean down there just before he does it, u could teach him how it is done:) My boyfriend did not like it with me ast first at all... He wanted to try it becasue he wanted to please me. It took him falling in love with me, and him being OPEN to liking oral, for him to like it.... My boyfriends attitude was " I hate it, but I really like u, and I am prepare to learn to like it". Some guys can learn to enjoy it. SOme can't. I hope your guy can:)
Cypress25 Posted February 17, 2012 Posted February 17, 2012 My boyfriends attitude was " I hate it, but I really like u, and I am prepare to learn to like it". And you were OK with that?! God, that would make me feel awful, knowing that the guy I loved was making himself miserable because of me. How could you enjoy it, knowing he was down there cringing, wishing it was over? And you say you loved him?! I really don't understand people who think they shouldn't learn to live without it, their partner should just learn to like it. Why don't you learn to like NOT getting oral, instead of saying your partner should learn to like giving it? Because your feelings are more important than your partner's feelings, apparently.
Titania22 Posted February 17, 2012 Posted February 17, 2012 And you were OK with that?! God, that would make me feel awful, knowing that the guy I loved was making himself miserable because of me. How could you enjoy it, knowing he was down there cringing, wishing it was over? And you say you loved him?! I really don't understand people who think they shouldn't learn to live without it, their partner should just learn to like it. Why don't you learn to like NOT getting oral, instead of saying your partner should learn to like giving it? Because your feelings are more important than your partner's feelings, apparently. Would you still like sex if you didn't orgasm?
Leigh 87 Posted February 17, 2012 Posted February 17, 2012 Um, I was not at all inconsiderate. My boyfriend said that he never liekd oral, apart from once, with a girl he was falling in love with. I told him to either learn to like it, or I would rather us just be friends, as I could not be happy without oral. He happily said " I am happy to learn to like it". Obviously, his aversion was not so strong, so as to totally shut him off. I cut him some slack - he had only tried it 2 other girls; once when he ws very young, and it was a smelly vagina and it REALLY turned him off oral. The other girl he did it with, because she was the most amazing girl hwe had met thus far, and out of the 3 mnths together, he only did it one time that he actually enjoyed it. ..... I think it isfair enoughm that I told him that it would not work for me, if he did not leanr to enjoy it.... My point, is that my boyfriend had a great attitude: he said he could seehimself learning to like it more and more. .. And he did. Not all guys will be the same, of course. I am just aying,t here is hope for some guys, who previously DID NOT LIKE IT.
kaylan Posted February 17, 2012 Posted February 17, 2012 There are 3 types of guys, relating to oral: 1 - guys who LOVE IT. Obsessed with it. Cannot get enough of it. Will go down on a girl they find attractive the first time they hook up. 2 - guys who hate it, but are willing to try it for girls they LOVE, or if they land a super model, they " cannot help themselves" 3 - guys who flat out will never be able to stomach it, and are not open people to trying new things. Or maybe the 1% of guys who are adventerous in other ways, for some reason, have a dead set AVERSION to oral, despite their otherwise OPEN MINDED nature.. I am guy number 1....giggity P.S. - Im not a man whore....swear lolz
Els Posted February 17, 2012 Posted February 17, 2012 There are 3 types of guys, relating to oral: 1 - guys who LOVE IT. Obsessed with it. Cannot get enough of it. Will go down on a girl they find attractive the first time they hook up. 2 - guys who hate it, but are willing to try it for girls they LOVE, or if they land a super model, they " cannot help themselves" 3 - guys who flat out will never be able to stomach it, and are not open people to trying new things. Or maybe the 1% of guys who are adventerous in other ways, for some reason, have a dead set AVERSION to oral, despite their otherwise OPEN MINDED nature.. Honest-to-goodness, Leigh, your bf is the ONLY guy I've ever heard to even say the bolded.
Cypress25 Posted February 17, 2012 Posted February 17, 2012 Would you still like sex if you didn't orgasm? Yes. What does that have to do with it?
Leigh 87 Posted February 17, 2012 Posted February 17, 2012 It depends on the sub culture of guys u associate and talk with. I have met a type of guy, that do not much care for oral, however: they have done it for girls they love. Some of them learn to LOVE it on girls they deaply love:) Two guys told me that, although they do not care for oral and never give it unless they are IN LOVE: they have landed a super model once in their lives, and they felt like giving it to the super model, becasue she made them so horny. My boyfriend says for him, oral is a LOVE thing. He has enjoyed doing it to me and the other girl the one time, because he LOVED/ LOVES Us. He said when he thinks of super models, he does not literally even THINK of oral on them. He said it is not something that turns him on, unless he has feelings for a girl. HE DID eventually say that, if it were a super model he would probably give oral, because it is a once in alifetime chance that u would land such abeautiful women. Generally though, I have met guys who flat out HATE oral: and guys who do not NORMALLY give it, but do enjoy it on a slect few women.. girls they LOVE, or only really, sseriously hot girls.
Leigh 87 Posted February 17, 2012 Posted February 17, 2012 Yes. What does that have to do with it? I enjoy sex without orgasm; I cannot get off through just sex, unless my cit is stimulated a lot. I only have sex for love, though.. I enjoy sex for the closeness factor with my boyfriend. I had never previously enjoyed sex. Sex is a love thing only for me. HOWEVER: I still need oral from a relationship. Otherwise, I will not be happy. I love oral too much.
Titania22 Posted February 17, 2012 Posted February 17, 2012 Yes. What does that have to do with it? It was just a random question, thanks for answering.
kaylan Posted February 17, 2012 Posted February 17, 2012 (edited) Um, I was not at all inconsiderate. My boyfriend said that he never liekd oral, apart from once, with a girl he was falling in love with. I told him to either learn to like it, or I would rather us just be friends, as I could not be happy without oral. He happily said " I am happy to learn to like it". Obviously, his aversion was not so strong, so as to totally shut him off. I cut him some slack - he had only tried it 2 other girls; once when he ws very young, and it was a smelly vagina and it REALLY turned him off oral. The other girl he did it with, because she was the most amazing girl hwe had met thus far, and out of the 3 mnths together, he only did it one time that he actually enjoyed it. ..... I think it isfair enoughm that I told him that it would not work for me, if he did not leanr to enjoy it.... My point, is that my boyfriend had a great attitude: he said he could seehimself learning to like it more and more. .. And he did. Not all guys will be the same, of course. I am just aying,t here is hope for some guys, who previously DID NOT LIKE IT. Lol...ten bucks says he really doesnt like it but just does it to appease you. What he tells you and what he tells his bros is two different things. They prolly here a different story and guys are generally super honest and open with their bros about sex. Sounds like you "ultimatum'd" him into a having a relationship the exact way you wanted it to be. I could only imagine the responses women here would have if a guy tried to pull this on a chick. And I also dont see how you can truly enjoy something you practically forced someone to do in order to be with you. As I said, I wouldnt be surprised he still doesnt like it, but just does it to make you happy. Edited February 17, 2012 by kaylan
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