tiredofhim Posted June 4, 2004 Posted June 4, 2004 I really dont know what to do. I have been with this guy for 3 1/2 years, engaged for 2 1/2, and fighting for the past 2. He doesnt trust me and he is very insecure. Today, he admitted to going through my cell phone, and he saw the number for one of my male friends. This caused an aweful fight, and all sort of nasty allegations were thrown around. Now this guys whose number is in my phone is a friend of a friend, I met him at a get together that the fiancee didnt come to. He has a girlfriend who was there that night, and the 3 of us got along pretty well. They have even invited me to hang out since that night, but I always say no. I never even call them. Well, my fiancee doesnt like any of my friends, and he refuses to spend time with them, and he doesnt want me hanging out with them by myself. Most of my friends are guys, and I asked my fiancee several times to just meet them and be friends. I have known most of them for more than 10 years, and have no attraction to any of them. They are just good friends and i dont think its fair that I cant even see them. He wants to try to make me choose between them or him and on top of that he treats me like crap. Now, he feels like this is a good enough excuse to go to the strip club (he says its a pool hall, although he doesnt know where it is or what its called) with his cousin. Hes also accused me of being jealous of his brother and fiancee, because they got engaged last month and are planning a wedding soon. I guess I do envy them though, because they are truly in love, and respect each other a lot. My (ex)fiancee tells me to shut up all of the time, yells at me, and calls me B@*&'s all of the time. I really dont know what to do. I have never cheated on him, never even looked at another man. I gave him everything and he is still so jealous. I cant even have a conversation with him, its like talking to a chair. He lies and keeps stuff from me. He doesnt have any friends, only his cousin and brother, so he doesnt understand what its like to have to keep yourself away from your friends. I spend every weekend at his house, from friday until sunday. I have no life outside of him, I feel like a caged animal. Please help me figure out what to do. I have invested almost 4 years in him, I really want to work it out.
magda Posted June 4, 2004 Posted June 4, 2004 You invested 4 years in figuring out exactly what kind of man you don't need in your life. Now find the kind of man you do. The choice is obvious.
amyfrank2442 Posted June 4, 2004 Posted June 4, 2004 You have the same problem that I have with my HUSBAND but now that that im up here with him alone dont know where to go how to get there or even I dont know anybody here! and thats the way he likes it ! He hates all my friends and swears to me that one day he is gonig to beat the living s*** out of one of them ! he never trusted me with always thought I was cheating on him when I was with them! Always thought there was a guy with me or something really stupid. I think you should set him stright! tell him if you cant see your friends then he cant hang out with his cousin or his brother! and if that dont work leave any way he wil soon realize what he has done and tell you he is sorry! Good Luvk! Amy
WomenAreNuts Posted June 4, 2004 Posted June 4, 2004 Originally posted by tiredofhim I really dont know what to do. I have never cheated on him, never even looked at another man. I gave him everything and he is still so jealous. I cant even have a conversation with him, its like talking to a chair. He lies and keeps stuff from me. He doesnt have any friends, only his cousin and brother, so he doesnt understand what its like to have to keep yourself away from your friends. I spend every weekend at his house, from friday until sunday. I have no life outside of him, I feel like a caged animal. Please help me figure out what to do. I have invested almost 4 years in him, I really want to work it out. Speaking from a guy's point of view....TELL HIM WHAT YOU JUST TOLD US...if you have and he refuses to listen, then break it off. He'll come crying back to you. I say this because you stated that he has no friends. So i'm safe to assume that his life revolves around you and his work perhaps? Again, tell him exactly what you wrote in your post. I have to ask, if you're so damn unhappy with him, why are you still his fiance? You have to stop procrastinating and confront the situation now...not next month..not after the wedding..now.
Shasta Posted June 4, 2004 Posted June 4, 2004 You need to put on your running shoes and run away from this relationship as fast as you possibly can. You don't need someone so controling! One thing will lead to another, and I don't want you to get married and end up posting on here that he hits you or something. Seriously, look at this relationship with an outside P.O.V. and just break it off.
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