KJauron Posted February 16, 2012 Posted February 16, 2012 I have a really good friend, one of my closest girlfriends actually. We have a lot in common, play the same sports, and get along really great. There's just one issue I have with her... I think she's a pathological liar. Last spring she told me she was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. At 16. Naturally I was stunned and frightened, until a week later, when she told me that it had already been taken care of... I don't know a lot about cancer, but that seemed a little soon to me. Also the other day she told me that she was pregnant (her period was two months late, never was irregular...) and she coincidentally happened to get it ten minutes later. Granted, those could be true or actual coincidences. But there's one that really got me... She told me a long time ago that her biological father committed suicide when she was a baby. Her step-father is living with her and her mother right now. She told me a month or two ago that her mother had lied to her and that her real father really just left. She told me that she was going to meet him that weekend. She never mentioned it again, and later in the next week when I remembered, she looked at me like I was crazy and said she had no idea what I was talking about. I guess what my question is, do you think that she's lying? I don't want to think that, but I'm afraid to me, that it seems like that. And if she is, is there any way that I could subtly hint to her that I don't believe her, but manage to keep her as a friend? Or should I just end my friendship with her?
pie2 Posted February 18, 2012 Posted February 18, 2012 From what you've described, yes, it seems like she has a problem with lying. You don't have to end the friendship, but it seems pointless trying to hint that you know she's lying. The girl has deep issues, and you are not going to solve them by trying to expose her. She needs professional counseling, and I think that's up to her and her family to pursue. If you want to remain friends, I think you have to have a very clear understanding that you have to take what she says with a very big grain of salt, and pretty much not rely on what she says at all. Try to define ways she can be a great friend to you, and don't break out of those areas too much with her at all. For example, she's probably a great teammate when you're playing sports. That's great! Just keep your activities together focused on that. But realize that if she can lie about her father, her health, an unborn child, etc... she can lie about you too. So maintaining a relationship with her can be risky. But if you're comfortable with those risks, then try to enjoy her company in a more limited, and somewhat guarded way.
whichwayisup Posted February 18, 2012 Posted February 18, 2012 Something may have happened in her young childhood and whatever is going on she's in denial about, hense the lying. It's a coping mechnism she's learned and lying is her way of protecting herself. She has issues obviously, but isn't ready to face them. I wouldn't say anything to her about it though.. If she is a good friend, then just enjoy her company, be a good friend back. Hopefully her parents are aware of this lying and will get her help for it.
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