Wes Posted June 4, 2004 Posted June 4, 2004 Alright, sorry if this is long, especially for such a dumb, irrelevant question I'm 18, I'll be 19 in November, and I'll start my second year of college in August. During my senior year of high school, I had a few senior friends who played volleyball, so I started going to all of their games. Since I was at nearly every game, I met everyone on the team and got to know each one of them a little. In doing that, I met this one girl, Crystal, who is the smartest, funniest, nicest, most beautiful girl I've ever met. At the time, she was 15 and a sophomore, while I was 17 and a senior. Something just struck me about her the very first time I saw her, and I really started liking her once I started talking to her. However, that kind of lead to a problem: I'm a shy guy, and if I really like somebody, it's hard for me to talk to them, so it was REALLY hard for me to talk to her much after I started liking her. We never really hung out or anything, we just talked some and said "hey" in the halls every now and then, but I was so shy that I couldn't bring myself to ever ask her out...plus, she was so beautiful that I was kind of intimidated by her, if that makes sense. Anyway, this went on for months, until prom came around. I wanted to ask her, but of course, I didn't, especially when I found out that she was talking to this guy, Matt, who was a junior and a football player. After finding that out, I gave up and decided that I wasn't going to go to prom. However, a few days later, my parents saw her parents at a restaurant and they started talking (my dad knows her step-dad because they went to high school together). During the conversation, I guess her mom recognized my dad's last name and she asked him if I was his son. When he said yes, she said "Oh, my daughter just loves him....she thinks so highly of him." Well, after I heard about that, I decided to ask her to prom, but the next day, I found out that Matt already had, and she said yes. They had a great time at prom, they ended up going out, and they're still together (even though he just graduated). Just as a rant, Matt is the popular-jock-football-player type who likes to party and drink every weekend, and he just doesn't seem like her type AT ALL. He's the "bad boy" I guess you could say. He's not smart, he's goofy, he's had "relationships" in the past with girls that were just his "f--- buddies", and he's really not that great looking, yet they've been going out for nearly a year. Oh well....anyway... Well, before school ended, I asked her for her screen name just so I could keep in touch with her in the future. We talked every now and then last summer, but only like three or four times, mostly because she turned 16 and got a car, so she was kind of hard to get a hold of online. Once her school year started, she was online often, but I would try to IM her, and I would never get a response. So I figured she just didn't want to talk to me anymore, so I gave up.....until about three months ago. Sometime in February, I emailed her just to see how she was doing and ask her what was up. She did respond to my email and she was very friendly. Since then, I've only talked to her just a few times, once at a game. Anyway, here's where my question begins. It might seem weird, but I'm the kind of person that only has to be told something one time, and I can remember it forever. I'm really good with names, numbers, and dates of special occasions, but she doesn't know that. Last summer, I saw her driving in her car, and I talked to her online that same day and asked her when she got it. I remember the date I was talking to her (June 13) because it was Friday the 13th. Anyway, when I asked her when she got it, she said, "On my birthday Monday", which would have been the 9th. So I'm GUESSING that her birthday is June 9, and I really want to send her an email wishing her a happy birthday on that day, but there are a few problems: 1. I'm pretty sure, but not 100% sure that June 9 is her birthday. I DO know that it's close to that, though. 2. Telling her happy birthday might be kind of weird, especially since she probably doesn't even remember telling me. 3. She only told me once, and that was a year ago, so the fact that I would actually remember might be kind of creepy, too. 4. I'm pretty sure she knows I like her, so that might make this whole thing seem even more weird. So, what should I say in my email? Should I even do it? I just know first-hand how much it means for someone to wish you a happy birthday because 99% of the people that I know always forget mine and remember everyone else's. Last year, my own DAD forgot my birthday, and my mom was the only person that said "happy birthday" to me. Just as a side note, you're probably thinking that I'm weird or pathetic for liking a girl that is two years younger than me and still in high school, but the truth is that I really do care about her and I think that she's a good person. Most of my friends say "You're in college now...forget about her"....but it's not that easy for me. I guess in the back of my mind, I still sometimes hope that I could have a relationship with her one day, but all I really want to do right now is just try to establish a friendship with her and try and talk to her more. Any help would be appreciated.
pocoestrella Posted June 4, 2004 Posted June 4, 2004 Wes, Well from what you've said you really seem like a sweetheart Listen heres the deal... nothing ventured, nothing gained you know? You are still kicking yourself for not asking her to prom... don't let another opportunity pass you by here Wes! I think it would be fine for you to send her a birthday card, it doesn't have to be a big thing IF you don't make it that way... Select a card you like (that isn't to mushy) and write in it that you had remembered her telling you her birthday was in June... tell her you hope she has a great birthday, sign your name and *click* send it! At this point Wes, I don't think you've got anything to loose... see where it goes from there. If she responds great... if she doesn't your still not really out anything right? Good Luck
Author Wes Posted June 4, 2004 Author Posted June 4, 2004 Originally posted by pocoestrella Wes, Well from what you've said you really seem like a sweetheart Listen heres the deal... nothing ventured, nothing gained you know? You are still kicking yourself for not asking her to prom... don't let another opportunity pass you by here Wes! I think it would be fine for you to send her a birthday card, it doesn't have to be a big thing IF you don't make it that way... Select a card you like (that isn't to mushy) and write in it that you had remembered her telling you her birthday was in June... tell her you hope she has a great birthday, sign your name and *click* send it! At this point Wes, I don't think you've got anything to loose... see where it goes from there. If she responds great... if she doesn't your still not really out anything right? Good Luck Thanks for your reply, pocoestrella. Just a couple of questions: 1. So you don't think it would be weird that I remembered her telling me about her birthday a year ago? Also, I haven't talked to her, or had a chance to, for that matter, since April. Just to get a girl's perspective, what would you think if someone you haven't talked to in two months sent you an email saying happy birthday....and you don't even remember telling them the date of your birthday? But I guess it's like you said: nothing ventured, nothing gained. 2. You gave the suggestion of sending a card. Do you know of any that I can send that I can check the status of? Or is there any way I can send one through AOL, like as an attachment or something.....just so I can know whether or not she read it? I don't think I'd be able to stand not knowing if she read it or not. Thanks.
pocoestrella Posted June 4, 2004 Posted June 4, 2004 [font=times new roman][/font] Wes, You're welcome for the response... hope it helped. To answer your questions... do I think it would be wierd if I didn't remeber telling someone it was my birthday but they remembered it... not at all! Honestly people (all people) are flattered when you remember things about them:) An idea for a greeting card via emai... there is a site called http://www.beatgreets.com it has all kinds of music cards that are pretty cool (especially if you might have some idea of what type of music she likes) and I believe they have an option on there for an email notification when the card is picked up and read they let you know. You can do this! Good Luck, and let me know how it goes:)
SilverAngelus Posted June 6, 2004 Posted June 6, 2004 Whats worse... Saying somthing and wishing you haddn't or Saying nothing and wishing you had? Angel
Author Wes Posted June 6, 2004 Author Posted June 6, 2004 Originally posted by SilverAngelus Whats worse... Saying somthing and wishing you haddn't or Saying nothing and wishing you had? I'm not sure.....is that a trick question? This is my last question about this situation, I promise. I'm still going to do it, but I just started thinking... Like I said, I think her birthday is on the 9th...I'm pretty sure, but not 100% sure. That is the day I'm sending the card, though. Just in case June 9 isn't the right day, what should I write? "Hey, sorry if this is the wrong day...I just remember you telling me last year that your birthday was around this time in June"??? That would be embarassing if it wasn't the right day , so I gotta say something just in case. I know that I'm probably thinking wayyy too much into this, and I'm trying not to, but I just want to do it right, ya know? Once again, thank you for your help, and I'll let you know how it goes in a few days. Wes
pocoestrella Posted June 6, 2004 Posted June 6, 2004 [font=times new roman][/font] Wes, LOL you can ask questions for as long as you want or need to on this:) Since you're not 100% sure it it's the 9th or not just say that you had remembered her telling you her birthday was in June and you thought you had remembered her saying it was the 9th... IF it is then whoo hoo go wes go wes! LOL but even if it's not... she isn't going to be upset... you still remembered her:) Don't over think things (like you said) I really think it says a lot that you remembered her bday for june regardless of the date... Keeping my fingers crossed for ya:)
Author Wes Posted June 15, 2004 Author Posted June 15, 2004 Hey pocoestrella, I have a short update to give you. I'd rather send it by PM, but for some reason I can't send PMs to anyone yet, but once I get that fixed, I'll give you an update.
lovinlife2 Posted June 15, 2004 Posted June 15, 2004 So Wes, did you send it? I hope so. Listen, what everyone said is right, first off, remember for the rest of your life, not just in relationships either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained is true and lastly, all women recognize and appreciate that a man remembers something...especially when it is about them! good luck. Oh, and she's 2 years younger than you while you're in college? Doesn't mean a thing. You may both have found the love of your lives, but if you don't put in a little effort, you'll always accomplish nothing. Update us!
Author Wes Posted June 19, 2004 Author Posted June 19, 2004 Sorry pocoestrella and lovinlife2, I haven't been online since my last reply. Oh well....looks like I won't be able to send PMs for a while, so I'll just post it. OK....on her birthday, I decided to send it around 7 a.m before I left for work...otherwise I wouldn't have been able to send it until like 5 or 6 that evening. To be honest, I really wasn't expecting a reply because for one, I haven't talked to her in a couple of months; two, I haven't even seen her online in like a month; and three, I figured she would probably think it was weird that I remembered. So when I got home and got online, I saw that she had replied with an email. I noticed that she had read my email, replied, and signed off all within like two minutes, so I was kind of worried about what it would say. In her email, she said that she was leaving right then and that she was kinda in a hurry, but that she wanted to say "thank you" to me. Since I wasn't even expecting anything, I was just pleased that she replied. Plus, if she really was in a hurry, the fact that she took the time to say thanks makes me glad that I did it. I should be seeing her in a month or two when her school's summer sports thing starts, and I'm going to try and go watch her play. Since I know everybody that plays, it won't be obvious that I'm going to see her. The only problem is that if she's still going out with her boyfriend by that time, I probably won't be able to talk to her. Thanks again for all your help and advice. I'm glad I have people to ask about this situation.
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