robed Posted February 15, 2012 Posted February 15, 2012 Hi everyone! This is my first post here and I really could do with some help! So I'll get straight to it: Basically, I met a girl at a nightclub late last year (She's 19 I'm 21), she knows some of my sisters friends and me and mates were partying with my sister and her mates, so we met through that. I noticed her but was so drunk I didn't get to talk to her much! Anyway I found out her name so I added her on facebook, which she accepted. After a while I messaged her and she replied, after a bit of talking I asked for her number, she gave me it and we got texting. I then asked if she wanted to meet up and she said yes - so far so good! The texting her been quite forward from us both and we were getting on great so I was feeling pretty confident about meeting up! About a week or so later we met up, went for a meal and a few drinks, then ended up sleeping together and spending the night at her dad's flat (which he rarely uses) so you could say the date went pretty well! After this we texted most days, and seemed to be getting on well and carrying on well from the first meet. However getting her to meet up with me for the second time was proving difficult, and she kept telling me when she couldn't meet up rather then suggesting when she could! So I rightly thought she didn't want to meet up, and said to her 'are you sure you want to meet up? Getting the feeling you don't wanna, if not just let me know it's not a problem!'. Her reply was that she did wanna meet up she was just really busy and she hoped I believed that that was the reason! So we carried on texting and talking and everything was going great, we were texting every day and that. Throughout this she was nice to me, saying if I ever wanted to talk about anything she was there, she couldn't wait to 'steal me away from my mainstream laugh' we had a laugh, she confided in me as well, so It seemed like it was going well. We had also agreed on meeting up again either Wendesday (today) or Thursday. Now, the other day we were talking about what we wanted and what we were, and I asked her what she was looking for, and what we were. She said she was wanting a relationship but didn't wanna rush things, which was fine with me, then she said she liked to think we were seeing each other ( The saying for sort of dating but not quite together) which I was fine with aswell! Anyway a couple of days ago we were texting in the morning and everything was fine but then she had work so we stopped texting. In the evening I was in bed napping cause I'd barely slept the night before, and I got a text from her. It said she needed to talk to me, that she had been thinking and she thought she was ready to go into a relationship with me but wasn't, needed to sort her head out before trying a new relationship otherwise it'd end horribly and she was really sorry! After a bit of texting I said I'd leave her alone, and if she wanted to meet to let me know, if not then nevermind! She texted again saying she was really sorry again but I ignored it! Now what do you make of that! Im a bit confused so what do you all think happened? Like what do you think is really going on? And what should I do? I'm sorry about the essay but i'm really confused and any advice/insight would be appreciated! Cheers!
Author robed Posted February 16, 2012 Author Posted February 16, 2012 Would really appreciate some help guys!
chryssy83 Posted February 16, 2012 Posted February 16, 2012 Either she's not that interested or sleeping together right off was too much for her and now she's not sure how to date you without being so careless about the sex?
Titania22 Posted February 16, 2012 Posted February 16, 2012 I don't know what to make of it. I suggest you just move on.
Author robed Posted February 16, 2012 Author Posted February 16, 2012 Thanks for your responses! In terms of the sex thing, I said to her that I didn't expect her to sleep with me, that we could again when she wanted to sort of thing, but I guess it could still be a problem for her. And yes, I am already considering just leaving it to be honest! I assumed she wasn't interested as well, but I have an update: I spoke to one of my sisters mates who knows her quite well. She said she's been messed around by guys before so is probably stressed, and that she wouldn't do or say all that if she didn't like me, (and that there wasn't another guy, which was my other suspicion). Then she said she'd talk to her, without giving away it was me asking of course! She also said to give her time (which I'm doing anyway). So yeah! I have to say I'm finding all this quite stressful!
Oxy Moronovich Posted February 16, 2012 Posted February 16, 2012 I think she was interested in you right up to the sex, but after the sex she lost interest. I'd say there's a good chance there's someone else. She was tiptoeing around the idea of dating you because that someone else wasn't serious with her. Now she's gotten serious with someone else she dumped you. My suggestion: move on.
just-me12 Posted February 16, 2012 Posted February 16, 2012 From what you have said and updated, I would say don't spend your time waiting for her, just do whatever you want in your everyday life if it happens it happens, just message in a week or so, ask how she is and that but don't ask about the whole situation, don't push anything.
Author robed Posted February 16, 2012 Author Posted February 16, 2012 Thanks for the advice and replies again guys! I will wait to see what her friend that knows me as well has to say then I'll take it from there I guess!
veggirl Posted February 16, 2012 Posted February 16, 2012 OP, keep in mind we have ALL been "messed with" by the opposite sex. Your gf isn't special in that way. It doesn't prevent most of us from still having relationships. Trust me, she will be OKAY for a guy she REALLY likes. If she is truly diggin a guy she isn't gonna be all "ooh I've been hurt too badly in the past". Sorry you aren't that guy for her though I'd go NC and forget about her. You don't need the drama.
Author robed Posted February 18, 2012 Author Posted February 18, 2012 (edited) veggirl - In my heart of hearts I know the truth of what you're saying, I just really liked her, and for obvious reasons - thought she really liked me! But yeah if she liked me that much, it would happen. I'm not sure what 'go NC' means haha but yes I shall forget about her! Thank you for the advice, I really appreciate it! . Edited February 18, 2012 by robed Used wrong word!
veggirl Posted February 18, 2012 Posted February 18, 2012 veggirl - In my heart of hearts I know the truth of what you're saying, I just really liked her, and for obvious reasons - thought she really liked me! But yeah if she liked me that much, it would happen. I'm not sure what 'go NC' means haha but yes I shall forget about her! Thank you for the advice, I really appreciate it! . Sorry, NC means No Contact. Good luck, you seem like a nice guy!
Author robed Posted February 18, 2012 Author Posted February 18, 2012 Veggirl - I am a nice guy, that's the problem;). (Thanks though!)
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