quankanne Posted February 16, 2012 Posted February 16, 2012 again, it all comes back to what feels natural. I can't say I can recall my husband opening my car door in a good while, but he's VERY good about making sure it's unlocked the first thing before he buckles up or starts the ignition. In my case, that's more important because I'm used to letting myself in and I want the dang door to open when I pull that handle. people have different ways of showing their graciousness. Find what yours is and use it. Someone will be happy that you did, and you'll feel good about doing something kind and considerate.
quankanne Posted February 16, 2012 Posted February 16, 2012 true that ... what really made me appreciate my husband (not that I already didn't, but this just magnified the feeling) was how well he took care of my mom whenever she visited or when we'd go to see her. He treated her like his very own, not fawning over her or kissing up, but being a good and loving son. Same thing with my dad, especially when Daddy was dying and came to live the last few months with us. I know it was hard on him, but it made me realize just what a treasure I have in my husband. Because I loved my parents, him loving them the same manner makes me cherish him more :love:
Feelin Frisky Posted February 16, 2012 Posted February 16, 2012 Why would you date a chick that doesn't know how to get comfortably seated by her own self? Get the crap outta here with that priviledge crap, you living doormat. Do you wipe your chick's butt too? Your parents know you're playing with the computer? That's a child-sounding attitude. When you grow up, you realize that it's the little things you do for each other that make your time together the remedy for everything else and not the source of some new tension. It's simple. You get your's back in sweetness from her in other many ways. What else is there? It's good stuff. 2
Ruby Slippers Posted February 16, 2012 Posted February 16, 2012 You know, I love to bake my man cookies sometimes, cook him a nice meal, sew a button on his shirt for him. All that "woman stuff". What a sad loser I would be if I turned my nose up at doing these things for him sometimes, because "he has arms". 2
sooniechan Posted February 16, 2012 Posted February 16, 2012 I think it is awkward getting doors opened for me. I feel like I can do it myself. I sometimes find it a tad weird when my bf insists on doing it. I used to tell him not to, but I just let him now since it seems to make him happy lol.
Els Posted February 16, 2012 Posted February 16, 2012 Your parents know you're playing with the computer? That's a child-sounding attitude. When you grow up, you realize that it's the little things you do for each other that make your time together the remedy for everything else and not the source of some new tension. It's simple. You get your's back in sweetness from her in other many ways. What else is there? It's good stuff. I'd love to see a woman tell this guy that he can just get himself laid. Doesn't he have hands? Seriously, FF, I think the majority of mature men and women approach chivalrous gestures with the mentality of it just being a sweet and nice gesture, and trying to reciprocate each others' nice gestures. You're evidently one of them. Don't let guys like this get you down.
Els Posted February 16, 2012 Posted February 16, 2012 I do agree with Woggle, though, that men should only do all this for women who appreciate it. Certainly if a woman makes it plain that she does not like or appreciate it, why would you bother? And while we're at this, yes, I do know a few women who make a point of getting all bitchy and annoyed and feminism-lecturing whenever men try to do this. Not classy at all, IMO. I've no idea how those women managed to construe feminism as 'being mean to people who are trying to be nice to you'. If a guy went all 'look, I can do this for myself, I have hands' if I tried to cook for him, I certainly would never cook for him again.
Woggle Posted February 16, 2012 Posted February 16, 2012 I do agree with Woggle, though, that men should only do all this for women who appreciate it. Certainly if a woman makes it plain that she does not like or appreciate it, why would you bother? And while we're at this, yes, I do know a few women who make a point of getting all bitchy and annoyed and feminism-lecturing whenever men try to do this. Not classy at all, IMO. I've no idea how those women managed to construe feminism as 'being mean to people who are trying to be nice to you'. If a guy went all 'look, I can do this for myself, I have hands' if I tried to cook for him, I certainly would never cook for him again. Exactly. I hate to say this but the misandrists have made it hard for the women who just want some chivalry and romance. There are women who truly do think it is beneath them to do the things Ruby says she enjoys doing for their man. The point is that when it seems like a large percentage of women hate us it does not make men want to be gentlemenly towards the opposite sex. Just like men pay the price for all the cheaters and deadbeat dads and other kinds of no good men women pay the price for this. 1
Star Gazer Posted February 16, 2012 Posted February 16, 2012 Opening the car door for me has never ever ever ever been a requirement of any kind, and I do not look down on a guy who does not open the car door. But he gets MAJOR bonus points if he does. Major. 1
Ruby Slippers Posted February 16, 2012 Posted February 16, 2012 Exactly. I hate to say this but the misandrists have made it hard for the women who just want some chivalry and romance. There are women who truly do think it is beneath them to do the things Ruby says she enjoys doing for their man. The point is that when it seems like a large percentage of women hate us it does not make men want to be gentlemenly towards the opposite sex. Just like men pay the price for all the cheaters and deadbeat dads and other kinds of no good men women pay the price for this. I do sweet "woman things" for my man because I enjoy doing them, never because I think I have to. And if I were a man, I would do chivalrous "man things" for my woman because I enjoyed doing them, too. If a woman started griping at me for being sweet, that'd be a giant clue that she's not the kind of woman for me, and my interest in her would die. Now, if she laughed and said opening the car door was sweet but not necessary, and clearly didn't want me to do it, I wouldn't.
FrustratedStandards Posted February 16, 2012 Posted February 16, 2012 I think it's annoying when a guy opens the car door for you every time. However if my hands are full, or i'm wearing a really fancy dress thats long and needs carrying, then I would appreciate the gesture.
Lostinlife4now Posted February 16, 2012 Posted February 16, 2012 My cute face and toned body get me laid. YMMV lolz Cute Kaylan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!;)
ScienceGal Posted February 16, 2012 Posted February 16, 2012 I dated one guy that would be standing outside of the car with the door open waiting for me when he picked me up for dates. He was a total sleaze and acted like a gentleman only to get into bed with women easier and quicker. Luckily, people who knew this came forward and warned me, I kept dating him, but I never slept with him. So, if a guy did that again, I'd be a little skeptical just because of this experience. I don't think it's necessary at all though, but it's sweet if done with good intentions.
elaina Posted February 16, 2012 Posted February 16, 2012 I feel so cheesy doing it on dates I don't. I will get doors going into buildings or pull a chair out for them to sit in no problem. Do you really think not opening the car door for them has a negative impact on their impression of me? P.S. This is just a curiosity question. I'm not losing sleep over this. lol I think it's romantic. My husband doesn't do it often, but when he does, I feel extra special! So, unless the woman expresses her dislike for it (whether verbally or by facial expression), why not do it once in awhile?
elaina Posted February 16, 2012 Posted February 16, 2012 The point is that when it seems like a large percentage of women hate us it does not make men want to be gentlemenly towards the opposite sex. That's a good point. Makes perfect sense.
make me believe Posted February 16, 2012 Posted February 16, 2012 My husband opens the car door for me EVERY single time we get in the car together. He always has. His dad does the same for his mom. I think it's a wonderful way to remind the girl you're with that you care about her.
ScienceGal Posted February 16, 2012 Posted February 16, 2012 My husband opens the car door for me EVERY single time we get in the car together. He always has. His dad does the same for his mom. I think it's a wonderful way to remind the girl you're with that you care about her. This is wonderful!
Disenchantedly Yours Posted February 16, 2012 Posted February 16, 2012 I think in most cases, it's when you are walking to the car that the door openning happens. Not when you are getting out of the car. A man can jerk himself off too, doesn't mean he doesn't like it when someone else does it for him. 1
Oxy Moronovich Posted February 16, 2012 Posted February 16, 2012 I have never had a guy open the car door for me. I simply walk out at the same time once the car is stopped. I don't sit there and wait like a damsel in distress for someone to open it for me because I am FAST. I already open it before someone can get to it. Opening doors is not important to me; I'm modern. I also have no problem paying for myself (even with someone I like). I like to take care of myself. You must be really slow at exiting a car if the guy even has enough time to stop the car and walk out to get to you. I generally open the door right away when the car is stopped. I like doing things myself. Smartest post by a female in this whole thread.
Disenchantedly Yours Posted February 16, 2012 Posted February 16, 2012 Smartest post by a female in this whole thread. Does that mean you only enjoy masturbating yourself and you don't enjoy when a woman participates and does a sexual act for your pleasure? 1
Emilia Posted February 16, 2012 Posted February 16, 2012 I have never had a guy open the car door for me. I simply walk out at the same time once the car is stopped. I don't sit there and wait like a damsel in distress for someone to open it for me because I am FAST. I already open it before someone can get to it. Opening doors is not important to me; I'm modern. I also have no problem paying for myself (even with someone I like). I like to take care of myself. You must be really slow at exiting a car if the guy even has enough time to stop the car and walk out to get to you. I generally open the door right away when the car is stopped. I like doing things myself. Me too. Once I was given a lift by someone much older and I knew it mattered to him that he should open the car door so I went along with it. It's not my thing though, I find it too paternal. You should only open the car door for a woman if you do it for a man too.
carhill Posted February 16, 2012 Posted February 16, 2012 I picked the habit (opening car doors/standing up when a woman enters the room/pulling a lady's chair out, etc.) up from my father. Modern women broke me of it. Life goes on.
make me believe Posted February 16, 2012 Posted February 16, 2012 Wow, I feel bad for the girls who date you guys who seem totally outraged at the idea of opening a freakin car door for your girlfriend/date/wife. Breals, I don't NEED my husband to open the door for me. Obviously I'm not incapable of doing it myself. But he sometimes does things for me -- and this may shock some of the people in this thread -- just for the sake of being nice. AND, I do things for him too! Just to be nice! Imagine that... 1
denise_xo Posted February 16, 2012 Posted February 16, 2012 I don't like the car door thing at all. I've only met one man who it really mattered for, so I went along with it to please him. But I just find it weird.
Emilia Posted February 16, 2012 Posted February 16, 2012 I hate anything paternal. I find it very patronizing. Even though I'm a girl I've held the door open for men before like co-workers a few years ago. I was ahead of them and didn't want the door to slam in their face so I held it open for them and let the guy enter first like I was the man. 100% always without fail men who insist on opening the car door for you expect you to be in a way too that they see as feminine. We are all different and have our expectations from the opposite sex but men who imply any helplesness on my part are usually not comfortable with my level of independence. That's pretty annoying. Unless, as I said, they do it to men as well. In that case they are just extremely polite.
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