AD1980 Posted February 17, 2012 Posted February 17, 2012 I think the problem is that some women will live their whole lives without seeing actresses or models that look like them, whether it is body type, or facial features, or (historically) skin color and hair type. There may be plenty of variation, but if you never see anybody you can relate to, I can see how that would be discouraging. nobody looks like me either whos a hot male actor lol who cares Women put way too much stock in tv and the media to get their judgements or self worth
xxoo Posted February 17, 2012 Posted February 17, 2012 nobody looks like me either whos a hot male actor lol who cares Women put way too much stock in tv and the media to get their judgements or self worth Very good point!
kaylan Posted February 17, 2012 Posted February 17, 2012 I think the problem is that some women will live their whole lives without seeing actresses or models that look like them, whether it is body type, or facial features, or (historically) skin color and hair type. There may be plenty of variation, but if you never see anybody you can relate to, I can see how that would be discouraging. Ill agree that certain traits are pushed more by the media, but that doesnt mean there is no variation. At the end of the day, those who are physically in good shape will be seen as attractive, be they men or women. And they will have varying traits. I really didn't mean it that way. I simply meant that he appreciated the opportunity to have sex with this woman. Not that it was some incredible stroke of luck, lol Hence the term "getting lucky"...am I right? lolz nobody looks like me either whos a hot male actor lol who cares Women put way too much stock in tv and the media to get their judgements or self worth Im gonna have to agree with this. Im black and the vast, VAST majority of "hot guys" in the media do not look like me. But I work with what I got. I focus on staying in good shape, working with what I got, and keeping a style I like. Sure I wont be the hottest guy or having every girl trying to screw me...but I will get by ok and enjoy myself.
ThaWholigan Posted February 17, 2012 Posted February 17, 2012 Ill agree that certain traits are pushed more by the media, but that doesnt mean there is no variation. At the end of the day, those who are physically in good shape will be seen as attractive, be they men or women. And they will have varying traits. Hence the term "getting lucky"...am I right? lolz Im gonna have to agree with this. Im black and the vast, VAST majority of "hot guys" in the media do not look like me. But I work with what I got. I focus on staying in good shape, working with what I got, and keeping a style I like. Sure I wont be the hottest guy or having every girl trying to screw me...but I will get by ok and enjoy myself. Interesting. I have a very unique look, I'm aware that I don't quite look the same as other guys, even as a black dude. I personally don't know whether it's attractive or not, but my dad always says that all I would need to do is get in shape and I'll be "terrible":laugh:. I think it's important to have a style that you like and identify with, that's something I have yet to nail down really, I admit that I don't really dress as well as I should. As for the other part of your post, I agree with it, I see many variations of women on TV and Movies who are touted as hot for whatever reason, and none of them look the same to me.
AD1980 Posted February 17, 2012 Posted February 17, 2012 (edited) Ill agree that certain traits are pushed more by the media, but that doesnt mean there is no variation. At the end of the day, those who are physically in good shape will be seen as attractive, be they men or women. And they will have varying traits. Hence the term "getting lucky"...am I right? lolz Im gonna have to agree with this. Im black and the vast, VAST majority of "hot guys" in the media do not look like me. But I work with what I got. I focus on staying in good shape, working with what I got, and keeping a style I like. Sure I wont be the hottest guy or having every girl trying to screw me...but I will get by ok and enjoy myself. I think the black male has come along way in that regard that you now have a lot of black male actors entertainers etc that are sex symbols, old spice uses the black guy with no shirt on to sell sex but i definitely get your point You shouldn't tie your self worth to images on a tv screen used to sell sex or as the image of beauty becasue it doesnt speak for everyone or even necassarily the majority Plus if you cant be happy with the idea that you may not be the single most attractive person on the planet then you live a sad existence and need to reevaluate things Edited February 17, 2012 by AD1980
somedude81 Posted February 17, 2012 Posted February 17, 2012 I dont feel lucky to get a girl naked. Its not hard at all to get sex. I really wish women would stop thinking all men are fiends who are so hard up for sex that they are grateful for whatever they get. Just because it's not hard for you, doesn't mean it's not hard for everybody. There are millions of men out there who are dying to get laid.
ThaWholigan Posted February 17, 2012 Posted February 17, 2012 Just because it's not hard for you, doesn't mean it's not hard for everybody. There are millions of men out there who are dying to get laid. Meh. I think it's more because we make it hard for ourselves to get laid.
somedude81 Posted February 17, 2012 Posted February 17, 2012 Meh. I think it's more because we make it hard for ourselves to get laid. Sure that's part of it, but there is much more to it than that.
ThaWholigan Posted February 17, 2012 Posted February 17, 2012 Sure that's part of it, but there is much more to it than that. Disagree, that's all there is to it in my opinion. If I allowed every bad event in my life to affect me I wouldn't do anything. The same applies to dating. If I allowed every rejection to render me inefficient at even finding a mate, how will I ever proceed? Get out of my head, and most of the battle is won IMO. I think you mean it's not as simple as that, rather than more to it. Obviously if you think a certain way, it's hard to shift your reality out of that mode of thinking. I'm of the belief that our thinking shapes our reality, and if how we experience reality has complete influence over our thinking, then we our controlled by our reality instead of controlling it. It may be harder for you because you're 30, I dunno, but I would at least attempt to condition myself to not allow myself to be so inept socially and romantically.
zengirl Posted February 17, 2012 Posted February 17, 2012 Attraction is more than just looks. I found my ex hot not only because I liked how she looked, but how we got along and how she made me feel. This is the crucial point I think the "hot is everything" people are missing. If someone loves you, then retroactively (even if it wasn't at first), you become the hottest girl/guy in the room. That's just how love works. But again, that means that the only hope for lesser-attractive women is that the hot girls have awful personalities. If a hot woman has a great personality, why would a guy NOT choose her? Why would a guy then choose the lesser-attractive-equally-good-personality option? No, as Mme. said: It's not about good/bad personalities. It's about personalities that match. If attraction is so subjective, then why do the hot actresses, models and porn stars (in other words, the women men idolize) all look the same? Skinny with big boobs and big lips. Maybe some hips or an ass. If male attraction was subjective, you'd see a lot more diversity in those types of women. What? First of all, porn stars look nothing like models who look nothing like many actresses (though some actresses were models first). And models from different types of modeling don't even look alike! And actresses have a hugely diverse range of looks, even those considered "hot" (which not ALL actresses are---there are character actresses too, just like there are character actors). I think the problem is that some women will live their whole lives without seeing actresses or models that look like them, whether it is body type, or facial features, or (historically) skin color and hair type. There may be plenty of variation, but if you never see anybody you can relate to, I can see how that would be discouraging. Now, that I could see, but it's a different conversation.
somedude81 Posted February 17, 2012 Posted February 17, 2012 Disagree, that's all there is to it in my opinion. No, what you and Dust are forgetting is that women have a say in this as well. I could do everything right, but if the woman has her own issues then nothing is going to happen. There is so much more to in than just what is going on with me.
verhrzn Posted February 17, 2012 Posted February 17, 2012 The answer to this question is obvious; guys approach the girl that to them is the hottest. If they don't approach you then they aren't that into you physically. There is this book "He Isn't Into You"... If he doesn't approach you but someone else he ain't into you. You're not hot enough for him. Doesn't bother me since I go for hot guys myself.... Anyways, I am guessing 95% of the time, guys determine the women they go up and talk to by who is the HOTTEST; most sex appeal, prettiest face, curves. These things can depend on the guy but of course there are some females that the majority of guys will think are hot. Doesn't bother me cause I think I'm pretty damn hot. If guys aren't approaching you then you aren't hot enough. Some women delude themselves "men are intimidated by me" or "he must be shy". That could be true in some cases but if no one ever hits on you that means no one thinks you are hot. Sorry but life isn't fair. *Points* At least someone is honest...
Mme. Chaucer Posted February 17, 2012 Posted February 17, 2012 *Points* At least someone is honest... Quit calling people liars.
ThaWholigan Posted February 17, 2012 Posted February 17, 2012 No, what you and Dust are forgetting is that women have a say in this as well. I could do everything right, but if the woman has her own issues then nothing is going to happen. There is so much more to in than just what is going on with me. Of course women have a say, but that doesn't mean we have to stop and get all moody and hide away from them just because a few of them say no. That's what I'm trying to say.
Badsingularity Posted February 17, 2012 Posted February 17, 2012 I am a female and do the same; I pick the hottest guy I can get. Do you think I am going to pick an ugly guy when I can get someone better? Heck no. If I were to start a conversation with a guy at a random place OF COURSE I am going to pick the hottest one. I'm not going to pick the ugly one. BOTH genders do this. I don't get why you say it like it is a BAD thing to pick the "hottest" person to talk to; it's only normal. I don't care how hot a girl is. If she has a nasty personality I wouldn't give her the time of day. I would gladly pass her to go talk to the nice average looking girl with a good personality.
Badsingularity Posted February 17, 2012 Posted February 17, 2012 Of course women have a say, but that doesn't mean we have to stop and get all moody and hide away from them just because a few of them say no. That's what I'm trying to say. True. Doesn't mean you stop trying
A O Posted February 17, 2012 Posted February 17, 2012 BOTH genders do this. I don't get why you say it like it is a BAD thing to pick the "hottest" person to talk to; it's only normal. Indeed, its hardly a gender specific trait. Bad only comes into play if someone thinks otherwise. As for what constitutes "hot"...hot to me all about one's physique, their body foremost, their facial looks next. Hence, I'm most attracted to beautiful women - a beautiful face. A beautiful woman can be hot, a hot woman may not necessarily be beautiful. Hot, depends a lot on choice of clothing. Seen many a hot woman look the part one day and decidedly average the next depending on their choice of attire. Beauty rules, everything else-behaviour/personality being equal. .
fortyninethousand322 Posted February 18, 2012 Posted February 18, 2012 This topic is who guys choose to APPROACH before they even know the girl. Obviously you wouldn't know who has the better personality until you talk to the person. Why would you assume someone would have a bad personality because they are just hot? In some cases, some very hot individuals can also have amazing personality. If you have an average person and a hot person both with the same great personality then most people would pick the hotter one of course. Body language could play a role, or if the "hot" girl looks otherwise occupied or something like that. Or, if you're like me and attracted to a pretty wide variety of looks maybe everyone is more or less the same level of attractiveness.
ThaWholigan Posted February 18, 2012 Posted February 18, 2012 Of course; it is the entire package. Having a great body but an ugly face does not constitute "hot" in either gender by any means. The only people that get offended by the fact that most people choose who to approach based on looks are those who are not considered "hot" because they don't get approached. This is how people become bitter after time (feel insecure about other women, angry that men only approach hot females and no one goes up to them). You don't see any "hot" people complaining. True. How do you think they should alleviate their position or get a partner??
counterman Posted February 18, 2012 Posted February 18, 2012 I am curious how many other men think like 49thousand or if it's different for you. If so, explain how. I know from my own experiences that I've seen guys across the room that I liked and wanted to talk to and we would make eye contact but they wouldn't come and talk to me, only to see them talk with other women. What makes you approach one girl over another? I usually choose to approach the girl I'm more attracted to. If a girl makes eye contact and smiles at me but I don't find her attractive, I won't approach her. If she's attractive and smiling and laughing and making eye contact, I would approach her, rather than any 'hotter' girls. But most cases, I approach one girl over another because I find her more attractive.
ThaWholigan Posted February 18, 2012 Posted February 18, 2012 Make themselves hotter; makeup, hair, work out, dress sexy. You can transform features with makeup; make your nose look smaller, make your face look smaller etc with cool makeup tricks. I don't do those things to get men btw but because I love makeup and fashion; it is my hobby. However, many bitter women find it demeaning to work hard to fit an ideal that most men like and then start complaining about porn and a bunch of other off-topic things that are irrelevant. Even before VHS existed men always approached the hottest; that is just how it is. For those women I guess there is nothing to do to alleviate their position except complain on LS. I believe that men are different in what they find hot at times, I think that women just need to find a style that they are comfortable with and accentuate the most physically attractive features. That, coupled with staying in moderate physical condition (don't have to be gym freaks at all), should be enough to guarantee attention from all but the pickiest guys. I know that I need to make myself more attractive physically, even though I feel I have attractive features, and dressing better etc. I know that I need to better myself, not just to date, but for my own personal happiness. I also feel optimistic about my chances with women in the future. So I'm not discouraged by discussing these things, although I know some men and women here are.
Lonely Ronin Posted February 18, 2012 Posted February 18, 2012 This topic is who guys choose to APPROACH before they even know the girl. Obviously you wouldn't know who has the better personality until you talk to the person. Why would you assume someone would have a bad personality because they are just hot? In some cases, some very hot individuals can also have amazing personality. If you have an average person and a hot person both with the same great personality then most people would pick the hotter one of course. You can learn a lot about a persons personality by observing them interact with others. 1
Badsingularity Posted February 18, 2012 Posted February 18, 2012 Obviously you wouldn't know who has the better personality until you talk to the person. Not always true. I can read people pretty well and just observing how they interact with and talk to other people for a few minutes is enough to tell if their personality sucks. Even their body language and facial expressions can give it away sometimes. Why would you assume someone would have a bad personality because they are just hot? I wouldn't. See above. In some cases, some very hot individuals can also have amazing personality. Very true. That describes me pretty well:lmao:
Mme. Chaucer Posted February 18, 2012 Posted February 18, 2012 We can all go round and round and round with this forever, as some obviously intend to do. The truth is: average, ugly, old, disfigured, disabled, pretty, hot, obese, and all other kinds of people can be found in relationships. Some of them are relationships that are happy and loving. We all know it. Sure, some have advantages when it comes to attracting other people. So what.
Mme. Chaucer Posted February 18, 2012 Posted February 18, 2012 It's ironic that there's a sister thread to this one (and verhrzn's ongoing threads) from the opposite perspective - a woman who thinks she is gorgeous and has every desirable attribute, but still is not approached by men.
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