AD1980 Posted February 16, 2012 Posted February 16, 2012 That's why my opinion is based not only on myself but what I see from my friends and women around me. How hot are the women around you? they may not go for 10's because they cant get them Most people are with people close to their own attractiveness level so both genders are equally shallow.. You dont see a bunch of fat dudes with models unless it's a tv sitcom
Anela Posted February 16, 2012 Posted February 16, 2012 How hot are the women around you? they may not go for 10's because they cant get them Most people are with people close to their own attractiveness level so both genders are equally shallow.. You dont see a bunch of fat dudes with models unless it's a tv sitcom My sister's fiance has a huge belly, and is more than twenty years older than her (dude); he isn't rich, and she could have been a model - she would be a ten or pretty close, and guys would fawn over her. Those close to my attractiveness level, are trying for younger women and trying to convince them that they don't look or act as old as they are. That isn't attractive, and most aren't having much luck (even if they are attractive-looking); only one has got themselves a relationship with a girl just under thirty.
Lonely Ronin Posted February 16, 2012 Posted February 16, 2012 Do you approach and ask out women you are NOT attracted to? Any guy that does this is screwed up... IMO guys that do this kind of crap are either d-bags just looking to add notches to their belt, or have mental issues that need addressed. If I approach a women it's because I'm physically attracted to her, she has either given me positive vibes or at least no negative ones, and she is not showing any signs of mental/social issues.
Eclypse Posted February 17, 2012 Posted February 17, 2012 Can you talk more about "moving down"? How attracted are you to these women? Do you approach and ask out women you are NOT attracted to? How does it work out? Well usually I pick out the 3-4 hottest women in the room. Usually I like one more than the other. This might be for some random reason, such as the way her hair is styled or I like her smile the most. Then I will attempt to strike up a conversation. If I sense she's not digging it then I'll try and leave without embarrassing myself. I'll then move down to the next 2 or 3 women and give it a go. If its going good then I'll stay with her. If not then I'll probably just call it quits for the night. Nothing turns off girls like desperation and if they see you've been rejected by 10 others it looks bad. Also I stop feeling in the mood to hit on girls at that point. I am attracted to all the women I hit on and to answer your last question no I don't approach or ask out girls I am not attracted to. Of course I will still talk to them as friends but no I wouldn't make any moves on them. I don't think there is much point in forcing yourself to be with someone whom you don't find attractive. I think that would be unfair for her as well and it would breed resentment.
Eclypse Posted February 17, 2012 Posted February 17, 2012 I think it means he's attracted most to the one he calls "hottest" first and then considers it moving down and "downgrading" to the next best option. Most guys probably pine for the hottie while banging whatever is availble to them. Or they just think about things from porn so they can stay hard enough to do it with someone they consider less attracitve. Or they suggest to look at porn with this person so they can keep it up to do it with her but it's not really about her so much as it is the other women he is thinking about or visually looking at. *shrug* Not entirely true. I think my girlfriend is one of the hottest girls I've ever seen. She has an amazing body and the cutest face in the world. Sure some guys would do what you describe but I can't imagine it being very fulfilling. I don't think I'd do it personally (and believe me I've had plenty of offers from a lot of girls before my gf). I suggested to her that we look at porn together as part of foreplay but she didn't want to. That's ok though it's her choice. She has no problem with me watching it when I'm not with her. If it ever got to the stage where I had to watch porn just to get hard enough to have sex with my partner I'd be really disappointed and seriously reconsider the relationship. Of course all this is just my own experience and for other guys it may vary.
Eclypse Posted February 17, 2012 Posted February 17, 2012 I'm really hoping he (or other men) respond, because I know that's what V thinks....and I think it is completely different. I think most men feel very lucky to get a girl naked, and are turned on by her body, even if she wasn't the first girl he was attracted to in the room. I really doubt they have to think of other women to stay hard when there is a naked woman right in front of them. I also don't think they would approach at all if they didn't have any attraction. I guess we'll see! Yep that is true! If the opportunity came to be with an average looking woman then most men would be quite happy just to be with her. I definitely wouldn't have to think about other women and I've never done that in my relaitonship. Of course when it comes to approaching first most men would likely approach the hottest girls unless they were all taken, in which case they would go for the next best. There is a line though and I would rather go home alone than with someone I really don't find attractive.
kaylan Posted February 17, 2012 Posted February 17, 2012 This is what I do as well. What if the girl you were attracted to most gets chatted up in the meantime by another guy? Don't you regret talking to the other girl who was giving you looks but you didn't like that much? No regrets. Thats the luck of the draw. I mean all I am really going on in these situations is initial attraction based on looks and body language, so its not like Ive invested anything where I should need to feel any regret. Its possible that I hit it off great with the girl who shot me looks. Its also possible that theres no spark and that Ill just move on for the night. It is what it is. If anything, I can go up to the girl I first noticed sometime later if shes not preoccupied.
kaylan Posted February 17, 2012 Posted February 17, 2012 (edited) I think it means he's attracted most to the one he calls "hottest" first and then considers it moving down and "downgrading" to the next best option. Most guys probably pine for the hottie while banging whatever is availble to them. Or they just think about things from porn so they can stay hard enough to do it with someone they consider less attracitve. Or they suggest to look at porn with this person so they can keep it up to do it with her but it's not really about her so much as it is the other women he is thinking about or visually looking at. *shrug* So wrong. I dont desire other women when I am having sex with the girl I am with. My focus is solely on her. And porn is the last thing on my mind during sex. I am focused on the body of the woman I am with, as well as the entire experience of sex. I only have sex with women I find very attractive. I dont need to have my mind elsewhere in order to maintain an erection. You really have no idea about how most guys think. All I am reading is what I deem insecure speculation. Do you not think you are good enough for a guy to stay hard or something? Plus I have never looked at porn with a woman. I dont need it while we have sex. If I ever was to watch porn with a chick though, it wouldnt be because she couldnt get me aroused. Itd be because we both think watching sex is hot. I'm really hoping he (or other men) respond, because I know that's what V thinks....and I think it is completely different. I think most men feel very lucky to get a girl naked, and are turned on by her body, even if she wasn't the first girl he was attracted to in the room. I dont feel lucky to get a girl naked. Its not hard at all to get sex. I really wish women would stop thinking all men are fiends who are so hard up for sex that they are grateful for whatever they get. Also, in the hookup scene most men and women dont end up with the first person they were attracted to that night when scanning the room. Many dont get the person they find the hottest either. I really doubt they have to think of other women to stay hard when there is a naked woman right in front of them. I also don't think they would approach at all if they didn't have any attraction. I guess we'll see! Correct. Edited February 17, 2012 by kaylan
Author Disenchantedly Yours Posted February 17, 2012 Author Posted February 17, 2012 Not entirely true. I think my girlfriend is one of the hottest girls I've ever seen. She has an amazing body and the cutest face in the world. Sure some guys would do what you describe but I can't imagine it being very fulfilling. I don't think I'd do it personally (and believe me I've had plenty of offers from a lot of girls before my gf). I suggested to her that we look at porn together as part of foreplay but she didn't want to. That's ok though it's her choice. She has no problem with me watching it when I'm not with her. If it ever got to the stage where I had to watch porn just to get hard enough to have sex with my partner I'd be really disappointed and seriously reconsider the relationship. Of course all this is just my own experience and for other guys it may vary. But you already describe your girlfriend as "one of the hottest girls I've ever seen". How is that different from what I said? Think about what it's like for women that aren't the "hottest girls ever seen" who are the "next option" or who's man is looking at porn of really hot women.
Author Disenchantedly Yours Posted February 17, 2012 Author Posted February 17, 2012 So wrong. I dont desire other women when I am having sex with the girl I am with. My focus is solely on her. And porn is the last thing on my mind during sex. I am focused on the body of the woman I am with, as well as the entire experience of sex. I only have sex with women I find very attractive. I dont need to have my mind elsewhere in order to maintain an erection. You really have no idea about how most guys think. All I am reading is what I deem insecure speculation. Do you not think you are good enough for a guy to stay hard or something? Plus I have never looked at porn with a woman. I dont need it while we have sex. If I ever was to watch porn with a chick though, it wouldnt be because she couldnt get me aroused. Itd be because we both think watching sex is hot. But you and other guys keep talking about your girl is the 'hottest". Frankly I am now curious what your girlfriends look like. And I have no doubt in my mind that a lot of men think of other women while they are banging another. Or get hard over other women while looking at porn and think it's a great thing and "finish" themselves off with their partners. Anyway, I really don't see what I said that is different then what you guys rae saying. A man picks the hottest girls he can. If she turns him down, he goes for the next best option..then the next..then the next. It's all about who is the hottest. End of story.
aj22one Posted February 17, 2012 Posted February 17, 2012 A man picks the hottest girls he can. If she turns him down, he goes for the next best option..then the next..then the next. It's all about who is the hottest. End of story. Some guys do no doubt. But let me tell you, there are some pretty hot women who just can't cut it as good girlfriends or somebody that would be cool to date. Some hot women are just horrible in bed, some have weird neurotic tendencies that make you run away as fast as you can. And some hot women are just no fun. I'm just not interested in having someone who's nice to look at but is annoying as hell otherwise.
Cracker Jack Posted February 17, 2012 Posted February 17, 2012 I don't see what's wrong with men thinking highly of their girlfriends. I think it's quite important to think of the woman you're with as the hottest. It doesn't have to be an opinion generally agreed upon, either. There's plenty of men out here who think very highly of their woman while others believe the guy is delusional (when it comes to her looks) for having such an opinion. So really, it has nothing to do with men thinking of other women for sex. There are people in general who do such thing.
kaylan Posted February 17, 2012 Posted February 17, 2012 But you and other guys keep talking about your girl is the 'hottest". Frankly I am now curious what your girlfriends look like. Attraction is more than just looks. I found my ex hot not only because I liked how she looked, but how we got along and how she made me feel. A girls attitude towards sex can also factor into a dudes attraction to her. To some guy who love their chicks and are super attracted to her, she will be the hottest in his eyes. She might not be empirically hot...but that wont matter to him. Ive said it time and time again in several of my posts. My ex was not empirically hot. She was cute and attractive, and most guys would label her a solid 7. One of my guy friends told me when I was going after her this: "I dunno bro...shes alright....not that hot...You can do better...but if you like her do your thing" and another one of my guy friends didnt find her cute. A lot of this had to do with her attitude though. I feel they were more hard on her because they didnt like her when we starting dating. Either way, to me she was a 10. I havent been more attracted to any girl in my life. Love can do that sometimes. Sure I needed to find her attractive initially, but the way we clicked pushed my attraction for her into overdrive. Doesnt hurt that she had a very nice body though lol. If you wanna know what she looked like Ill describe. 5'2" tall, 100 lbs, size 2, b cup, petite with a little curve, and a little bubble butt. She had long dirty blonde hair, a good bit of acne, light grey eyes, straight teeth but not the most white, and very Italian nose lol And I have no doubt in my mind that a lot of men think of other women while they are banging another. Or get hard over other women while looking at porn and think it's a great thing and "finish" themselves off with their partners. Think what you want, but you are no authority on the subject. Most guys do not do this. Guys talk about stuff like this and its not as common as you think. We are too focused on the naked girl in front of us, so we dont have time to waste our focus on using our imagination. Anyway, I really don't see what I said that is different then what you guys rae saying. A man picks the hottest girls he can. If she turns him down, he goes for the next best option..then the next..then the next. It's all about who is the hottest. End of story. You asked who guys pick if they are in a room full of people. Id assume this is a bar or lounge since those are the places you will usually have men going up to women they find attractive. In those atmospheres men AND women will want the person they are most attracted to since you notice looks mostly in these places. Its not like people are really trying to figure out who fits them best compatibility wise when they are simply scanning the room with their eyes. Be real here. If a guy or gal was taking the time to get to know everybody, then things would change. Until then we go with whos most attractive to us. looks wise This differs by person since whats attractive is subjective and variable. You could give me two girls in a bar...Girl A might be more 'hot' than girl B, but I might go after girl B because shes got a style Im more attracted to. It goes like this...I can admit I find Megan Fox or Gisele Bundchen to be VERY attractive. I can admit that they are pretty than most girls. This doesnt mean Ill be most attracted to them vs other girls.
verhrzn Posted February 17, 2012 Posted February 17, 2012 Some guys do no doubt. But let me tell you, there are some pretty hot women who just can't cut it as good girlfriends or somebody that would be cool to date. Some hot women are just horrible in bed, some have weird neurotic tendencies that make you run away as fast as you can. And some hot women are just no fun. I'm just not interested in having someone who's nice to look at but is annoying as hell otherwise. But again, that means that the only hope for lesser-attractive women is that the hot girls have awful personalities. If a hot woman has a great personality, why would a guy NOT choose her? Why would a guy then choose the lesser-attractive-equally-good-personality option?
Cracker Jack Posted February 17, 2012 Posted February 17, 2012 Wouldn't something like that go both ways? That entire question can be reversed. Also, attraction is totally subjective.
aj22one Posted February 17, 2012 Posted February 17, 2012 But again, that means that the only hope for lesser-attractive women is that the hot girls have awful personalities. If a hot woman has a great personality, why would a guy NOT choose her? Why would a guy then choose the lesser-attractive-equally-good-personality option? All things being equal, yes, a more attractive person is going to be chosen above a lesser attractive woman. But here's the beauty, we don't live in an "all things being equal" world. Everyone has their own sense of what's attractive and what they're looking for. Some guys want women who are into comics and sci-fi whatever, other guys like girls who are into sports, some guys don't give two craps about either. Some guys like blondes, some like brunette, some guys have weird racial fetishes. Some guys want a girl who has a career, others are looking for a stay at home housemaker. This process we call dating which is basically trial and error is how we figure out exactly what we think is best for us. It's like going into a grocery store and seeing 10 different types of bread. If everything was equal about each loaf of bread the cheapest bread would be bought and all others left on the shelf. But that's not really the case in real life. Some people prefer cheaper store brand bread, others like Sunbeam, or Wonderbread, or whatever other brands there are. 1
Mme. Chaucer Posted February 17, 2012 Posted February 17, 2012 But again, that means that the only hope for lesser-attractive women is that the hot girls have awful personalities. If a hot woman has a great personality, why would a guy NOT choose her? Why would a guy then choose the lesser-attractive-equally-good-personality option? Because a "good" personality does not equal a good, compatible match. Plus, all people (except 2, evidently) are comfortable with the idea that somebody might be very "hot" or whatever, but clearly not their type.
verhrzn Posted February 17, 2012 Posted February 17, 2012 Wouldn't something like that go both ways? That entire question can be reversed. Also, attraction is totally subjective. If attraction is so subjective, then why do the hot actresses, models and porn stars (in other words, the women men idolize) all look the same? Skinny with big boobs and big lips. Maybe some hips or an ass. If male attraction was subjective, you'd see a lot more diversity in those types of women.
somedude81 Posted February 17, 2012 Posted February 17, 2012 But you and other guys keep talking about your girl is the 'hottest". Frankly I am now curious what your girlfriends look like. I'm curious that you are actually questioning this. Maybe you're not aware, but strong feelings for somebody can make them more attractive in your mind. The fact that there are hotter girls out there doesn't even register. A man picks the hottest girls he can. If she turns him down, he goes for the next best option..then the next..then the next. It's all about who is the hottest. End of story.I've actually never asked out a hot girl first because she was hot. Most of the women I've gone out with / asked out, were people I met from work, class or school club. In those places I talk to a lot of girls, but I keep coming back to the ones I have the most fun with. Then I ask them out, it has nothing to do with how hot they are. Of course a girl has to meet my minimum and the girls who don't are very few in number.
kaylan Posted February 17, 2012 Posted February 17, 2012 If attraction is so subjective, then why do the hot actresses, models and porn stars (in other words, the women men idolize) all look the same? Skinny with big boobs and big lips. Maybe some hips or an ass. If male attraction was subjective, you'd see a lot more diversity in those types of women. Youre kidding right? Not all actresses and models look a like. If you think so then you are out of touch with reality. Many of those women are different races, heights, breast sizes, hip sizes, hair color, etc. There is plenty of variation. The only thing they have in common is that they arent overweight and are in shape. Other than that, they are not clones of one another. You wanna tell me that Natalie Portman, whom I find very attractive, looks exactly like Zoe Saldana?
Cracker Jack Posted February 17, 2012 Posted February 17, 2012 If attraction is so subjective, then why do the hot actresses, models and porn stars (in other words, the women men idolize) all look the same? Skinny with big boobs and big lips. Maybe some hips or an ass. That just means a large amount of men find those attributes attractive. Most models and actresses look different, anyway. It doesn't mean male attraction isn't subjective--especially when you see so many people with varying sizes and shapes in relationships. We all know "tall, dark, and handsome" are some of the things many women seek in a man, but it doesn't mean their attraction isn't subjective, simply because we see women going for other types of men as well. Same with men. Generalizing really isn't needed. Some people are just attracted to certain people.
AD1980 Posted February 17, 2012 Posted February 17, 2012 If attraction is so subjective, then why do the hot actresses, models and porn stars (in other words, the women men idolize) all look the same? Skinny with big boobs and big lips. Maybe some hips or an ass. If male attraction was subjective, you'd see a lot more diversity in those types of women. Have you asked every guy what he finds attratcive?Its much more diverse then you think It's usually gay men who set trends to market what is supposenly attratcive in women It's an image,just like Men in commercials for certain things are tall handsome and have six pack abs its an image to sell it doesnt mean women are only attracted to those men
xxoo Posted February 17, 2012 Posted February 17, 2012 Youre kidding right? Not all actresses and models look a like. If you think so then you are out of touch with reality. Many of those women are different races, heights, breast sizes, hip sizes, hair color, etc. There is plenty of variation. The only thing they have in common is that they arent overweight and are in shape. Other than that, they are not clones of one another. I think the problem is that some women will live their whole lives without seeing actresses or models that look like them, whether it is body type, or facial features, or (historically) skin color and hair type. There may be plenty of variation, but if you never see anybody you can relate to, I can see how that would be discouraging.
ThaWholigan Posted February 17, 2012 Posted February 17, 2012 Wouldn't something like that go both ways? That entire question can be reversed. Also, attraction is totally subjective. EXACTLY!!!!! Entirely subjective in fact, I don't know why girls think different, it baffles me. If attraction is so subjective, then why do the hot actresses, models and porn stars (in other words, the women men idolize) all look the same? Skinny with big boobs and big lips. Maybe some hips or an ass. If male attraction was subjective, you'd see a lot more diversity in those types of women. No, you mean if the Media was more subjective in what they decide to broadcast in terms of beauty. And even then, it's more subjective. It's nowhere near as black and white. These are the women that are given the air time, the exposure they get is the reason for the seemingly overwhelming amount of adulation they get, which isn't even that much and is exaggerated. Youre kidding right? Not all actresses and models look a like. If you think so then you are out of touch with reality. Many of those women are different races, heights, breast sizes, hip sizes, hair color, etc. There is plenty of variation. The only thing they have in common is that they arent overweight and are in shape. Other than that, they are not clones of one another. You wanna tell me that Natalie Portman, whom I find very attractive, looks exactly like Zoe Saldana? Agreed. and even outside of the movie industry and the music stars etc. men aren't as discriminating about what they find attractive as women think they are. It's one big giant myth. 1
xxoo Posted February 17, 2012 Posted February 17, 2012 I dont feel lucky to get a girl naked. Its not hard at all to get sex. I really wish women would stop thinking all men are fiends who are so hard up for sex that they are grateful for whatever they get. I really didn't mean it that way. I simply meant that he appreciated the opportunity to have sex with this woman. Not that it was some incredible stroke of luck, lol 1
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