Disenchantedly Yours Posted February 15, 2012 Posted February 15, 2012 Originally Posted by fortyninethousand322 Whenever I go and chat up women it's usually at random or by physical proximity. Like I'll talk to a girl nearby rather than go all the way across a room for another girl. It's never because girl A was better than girl B. I am curious how many other men think like 49thousand or if it's different for you. If so, explain how. I know from my own experiences that I've seen guys across the room that I liked and wanted to talk to and we would make eye contact but they wouldn't come and talk to me, only to see them talk with other women. What makes you approach one girl over another? 1
fortyninethousand322 Posted February 15, 2012 Posted February 15, 2012 I'd like to add some context to this. I only mean if all other things are equal. Like, if I saw a girl with a Ron Paul shirt on or an Orioles shirt or something I'd be more likely to go across the room because there'd be something obvious to talk about. I'm not always good with spontaneous conversation with women so I need a primer. The only girl I ever "dated" was a girl I met accidentally after trying to talk to another girl who had been staring at me in class. And, let me tell you, I probably would have married accident girl if she would have agreed, she ended being a lot better than the other girl. 1
Cracker Jack Posted February 15, 2012 Posted February 15, 2012 I approach a woman if I'm attracted to her and she appears to be approachable. Wouldn't matter if she's across the room or 4 yards away from me. 1
blueskyday Posted February 15, 2012 Posted February 15, 2012 Well, I think many guys are too shy to come across the room. They don't want to get shot down or misinterpret interest and then be embarrassed when a woman says, "What the heck?" with a surprised look. Sadly, I've seen that happen. If I see a guy I like across the room, I will smile at him a few times. Then I will get up and walk to the bathroom, shooting him a glance. Many times, when I come out, he's waiting close by, and strikes up a conversation. Or, I will walk over close to where he is, ostensibly to get a napkin or something. If I see he has walked over to get a napkin himself, then I might walk over there, too...to get a straw. One guy told me he wanted to walk acrooss the room to talk to me, but he was too intimidated by my group of women friends. Who could blame him? Yikes. 1
kaylan Posted February 15, 2012 Posted February 15, 2012 I am curious how many other men think like 49thousand or if it's different for you. If so, explain how. I know from my own experiences that I've seen guys across the room that I liked and wanted to talk to and we would make eye contact but they wouldn't come and talk to me, only to see them talk with other women. What makes you approach one girl over another? I speak to whomever peaks my interest, whether their physical proximity is close or far.
fortyninethousand322 Posted February 15, 2012 Posted February 15, 2012 I speak to whomever peaks my interest, whether their physical proximity is close or far. This. But assuming there are multiple people who peak your interest, what then? On what criteria do you decide who to speak to first? 1
blueskyday Posted February 15, 2012 Posted February 15, 2012 What things peak your interest when you see a woman? 1
fortyninethousand322 Posted February 15, 2012 Posted February 15, 2012 The one who peaks my interest most. In what way though? Based on looks? Or what? For me it'd be completely random there's no attribute that I value more than others. 1
verhrzn Posted February 15, 2012 Posted February 15, 2012 The one who peaks my interest most. AKA, the hottest one. Ta-da! 1
Lonely Ronin Posted February 15, 2012 Posted February 15, 2012 Off the top of my head I have not approached women who appear normal because: 1. It look like she didn't want to talk to anyone. 2. It seemed like she was in a hurry. 3. It looked like she was waiting on someone. 4. She was sitting in a group of other women. 5. no chair/stool open close to her 6. she was chatting with someone else 1
aj22one Posted February 15, 2012 Posted February 15, 2012 What makes you approach one girl over another? I immediately scope out all the Indian/Middle Eastern looking women, I'm not lying here. Then I decide which ones look single, interested in dating, and interesting and go from there. 1
ThaWholigan Posted February 15, 2012 Posted February 15, 2012 I speak to whomever peaks my interest, whether their physical proximity is close or far. ^^^^ this. This could range from anything to the fact that I like the way she looks and dresses, her demeanor. I would say that if she looks approachable in some way that is always a plus. Also, it depends on the setting. Like, if I'm at a coffee shop, and a girl is reading a book I like, I'll talk about the book to start off. That's something that could peak my interest at first. Range of things really. It's not often I approach a woman anyway, I was always too chicken . Still trying to break out of it.
TheBigQuestion Posted February 15, 2012 Posted February 15, 2012 I am curious how many other men think like 49thousand or if it's different for you. If so, explain how. I know from my own experiences that I've seen guys across the room that I liked and wanted to talk to and we would make eye contact but they wouldn't come and talk to me, only to see them talk with other women. What makes you approach one girl over another? It's spelled "Quote," not "Qoute" In my single days, who I approached depended on the environment. If it was a crowded party or bar, I wouldn't go all the way to the other side of the room just to talk to someone. It was a different story in a less crowded location. Most of the time, I never did much approaching. Women generally approached me OR I somehow just fell into FWBs/relationships.
ThaWholigan Posted February 15, 2012 Posted February 15, 2012 I immediately scope out all the Indian/Middle Eastern looking women, I'm not lying here. Then I decide which ones look single, interested in dating, and interesting and go from there. This is interesting. I normally approach black and mixed raced girls predominantly. I don't think I've ever approached a white girl. Ironically, white girls show the most interest ...... Not all the girls I have approached have been stereotypically hot, but I always thought they were attractive, I don't really care about what anyone else considers to be hot, I like what I like
somedude81 Posted February 15, 2012 Posted February 15, 2012 Off the top of my head I have not approached women who appear normal because: 1. It look like she didn't want to talk to anyone. 2. It seemed like she was in a hurry. 3. It looked like she was waiting on someone. 4. She was sitting in a group of other women. 5. no chair/stool open close to her 6. she was chatting with someone else If a girl is otherwise occupied I'm not going to approach her no matter how hot she is. Only a player would attempt something like that.
Sanman Posted February 15, 2012 Posted February 15, 2012 I get what 49thousand is saying and I agree with him to a degree. If I were at a bar and there are a buch of cute girls how do you decide which one to approach? Some go for the easiest target. No shame there in my eyyes as the easiest target is usually the most interested. Personally, I will take a walk around and see if there is anyone who catched my eye. I prefer cute, nerdy, rocker chicks. So, if she is wearing a rubex cube shirt or a vintage nirvana t-shirt we can have a convo. If no one is standing out to me, I look for women or groups who are easy to talk to and go from there. I am long past the point in time where I will pick a girl and go after her. I will work a room and talk to everybody with my friends,I will make proud asses of us at the karaoke bar, really anything to get us noticed in a positive fun way. Then I see who is attracted to us, having fun, and open to some conversation and that them up. This way I make it easy for women who are into me to approach and they don't feel I am creepy or annoying because I talk to everyone.
aj22one Posted February 15, 2012 Posted February 15, 2012 This is interesting. I normally approach black and mixed raced girls predominantly. I don't think I've ever approached a white girl. Ironically, white girls show the most interest ...... Not all the girls I have approached have been stereotypically hot, but I always thought they were attractive, I don't really care about what anyone else considers to be hot, I like what I like Yeah, I have a fetish . It used to cause me a lot of grief because I kept trying to date women who were going to get arranged marriages or wouldn't date outside of their culture. Thankfully though, I think my search is over
somedude81 Posted February 15, 2012 Posted February 15, 2012 I get what 49thousand is saying and I agree with him to a degree. If I were at a bar and there are a buch of cute girls how do you decide which one to approach? Some go for the easiest target. No shame there in my eyyes as the easiest target is usually the most interested. Personally, I will take a walk around and see if there is anyone who catched my eye. I prefer cute, nerdy, rocker chicks. So, if she is wearing a rubex cube shirt or a vintage nirvana t-shirt we can have a convo. If no one is standing out to me, I look for women or groups who are easy to talk to and go from there. I am long past the point in time where I will pick a girl and go after her. I will work a room and talk to everybody with my friends,I will make proud asses of us at the karaoke bar, really anything to get us noticed in a positive fun way. Then I see who is attracted to us, having fun, and open to some conversation and that them up. This way I make it easy for women who are into me to approach and they don't feel I am creepy or annoying because I talk to everyone. For some reason, I really hate the thought of having to do this. I don't want to "work the room," talking to a whole bunch of people and hoping that one says yes. Man, I really feel that I'm not cut out for this game.
fortyninethousand322 Posted February 15, 2012 Posted February 15, 2012 I get what 49thousand is saying and I agree with him to a degree. If I were at a bar and there are a buch of cute girls how do you decide which one to approach? Some go for the easiest target. No shame there in my eyyes as the easiest target is usually the most interested. Personally, I will take a walk around and see if there is anyone who catched my eye. I prefer cute, nerdy, rocker chicks. So, if she is wearing a rubex cube shirt or a vintage nirvana t-shirt we can have a convo. If no one is standing out to me, I look for women or groups who are easy to talk to and go from there. I am long past the point in time where I will pick a girl and go after her. I will work a room and talk to everybody with my friends,I will make proud asses of us at the karaoke bar, really anything to get us noticed in a positive fun way. Then I see who is attracted to us, having fun, and open to some conversation and that them up. This way I make it easy for women who are into me to approach and they don't feel I am creepy or annoying because I talk to everyone. Yup that's exactly what I was saying. Verhrzn was making it sound like whoever you approached first was your "first choice" and if you approach anyone after that it means you were "settling". Which was a completely ridiculous statement.
Sanman Posted February 15, 2012 Posted February 15, 2012 For some reason, I really hate the thought of having to do this. I don't want to "work the room," talking to a whole bunch of people and hoping that one says yes. Man, I really feel that I'm not cut out for this game. If you won't work a room and you won't talk to a girl who is busy, you won't get anywhere. If a girl likes you, she will make time to get to know you. It should not take more than a couple of sentences to get her interested and talking.
Imajerk17 Posted February 15, 2012 Posted February 15, 2012 I just pick up the nearest girl I find cute and throw her over my shoulder. Which means that if there are two cute girls between me and you, you're out of luck no matter how hot you are. I only have two shoulders!
Author Disenchantedly Yours Posted February 15, 2012 Author Posted February 15, 2012 It's spelled "Quote," not "Qoute" I seem to always switch those two vowels. But you could just respond to the topic without giving me a spelling lesson. If it came from someone like Dust, it would be cool. But given our history, this isn't cool for you to do. Yup that's exactly what I was saying. Verhrzn was making it sound like whoever you approached first was your "first choice" and if you approach anyone after that it means you were "settling". Which was a completely ridiculous statement. Yeah, I don't think that's the best way to look at it either. But it's nice to know that a man approaches you for more then just closing his eyes and pointing to a group of attractive girls and just landing on any ole one
blueskyday Posted February 15, 2012 Posted February 15, 2012 Oh, the ol' cave man woman over the shoulder move!
ThaWholigan Posted February 15, 2012 Posted February 15, 2012 Yeah, I have a fetish . It used to cause me a lot of grief because I kept trying to date women who were going to get arranged marriages or wouldn't date outside of their culture. Thankfully though, I think my search is over Well, I'm a black dude so I feel black & mixed are in my culture firmly. The thing is, where I am from, a lot of white girls are into black guys. I would not have too much of a problem dating a white girl except that my mother is very pro-black so bring them home is a problem For some reason, I really hate the thought of having to do this. I don't want to "work the room," talking to a whole bunch of people and hoping that one says yes. Man, I really feel that I'm not cut out for this game. Working the room doesn't necessarily mean asking a girl out in the conventional way that we think of it (doesn't mean we should automatically make friends), but it's simply just about being relaxed when talking to people. Yup that's exactly what I was saying. Verhrzn was making it sound like whoever you approached first was your "first choice" and if you approach anyone after that it means you were "settling". Which was a completely ridiculous statement. Agreed. It's ridiculous really. First impressions may count, but don't always ring true, regardless of what people say. If you won't work a room and you won't talk to a girl who is busy, you won't get anywhere. If a girl likes you, she will make time to get to know you. It should not take more than a couple of sentences to get her interested and talking. Again, very accurate post this is.
Lonely Ronin Posted February 15, 2012 Posted February 15, 2012 If a girl is otherwise occupied I'm not going to approach her no matter how hot she is. Only a player would attempt something like that. The woman in the group was at a table with like 8 or 9 other women for what I'm pretty sure was a girls night out. I caught her watching me a few times, and we shared mutual signs of being attracted, but when I went to the bar for a refill, she didn't come over and she never left the table so I passed. The other woman was talking to a guy, not flirting with or being hit on by. For all i know he was her brother, but regardless she was occupied so I passed.
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