bluewolf17 Posted February 15, 2012 Posted February 15, 2012 I am a female, 28 years old. I have been with my guy for six years, he is 30 and he just graduated from university. In July, we moved in together. We have moved fairly slow, partly because that's just the way I operate, and partly because of his financial situation. I have always worked a steady full time job, gone to school full time, had hobbies/friends. He has been on again off again employed. He suffers from sever depression at times that leaves him at home for months doing nothing. He takes prescription and sees a therapist and has improved. My heart is breaking. I do love him, but for a long time know I have struggled with the fact that were we are now at six years, is where I thought we would be at three years. He said he wants kids and a family, but his life situation makes it so that may not happen for a very long time. I have been depressed for months. Today I asked him where he sees us in six months, and he said he didn't know. I told him I cared for him, and wanted the relationship to work, but that I feel like I have been waiting for him for a long, long time, and it doesn't seem like we are any closer to getting married or of him becoming more financially sound. It breaks my heart. He tried to make it about him being better about going on dates, etc. But I told him that' not it, I am torn between sticking it out another 1-2 years, or ending things because I'm unhappy. I broke up with him 3 years ago (we were seperated for 9 months). I regretted ending things and I missed him terribly. I begged for him back (and got him) but I am starting to see that the main reason I broke up with him before is still there. He is really down about our conversation, and I agreed to have dinner with him tommorow. I just don't know what to do..It's not like I don't care for him, but I am feeling like I have make myself happy too.
Philosoraptor Posted February 15, 2012 Posted February 15, 2012 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/313460-full-circle You were not over, and even seeing, your ex and it caused a rift in your relationship. Don't shift the blame here, you need to accept that you still have healing to do from over 6 years ago and this current relationship never really stood a chance. You need time alone to cope and heal so that one day you can truly give yourself to another. But do not leap again and do not attach yourself to anyone else. You need to heal yourself or else you will just drag out your own pain and extend it to others. I wish you the best and hope that you find your path to healing. Be gentle and honest with this man you are ending the relationship with.
Author bluewolf17 Posted February 15, 2012 Author Posted February 15, 2012 When my current guy and I were making progress, I didn't think about the ex. Yes, seeing him did cause a rift in the relationship. But I feel like if my current relationship didn't have it's cracks, I might not have gotten caught up in my old flame. I took your advice, I left the ex alone. He texted and I still haven't responded. You are right that I don't need to jump into anything. You are right that I didn't let that heal and I am trying to do that now.
CaliBabe Posted February 15, 2012 Posted February 15, 2012 Atleast you realize it now and you are able to stick to your guns about not contacting your ex. I do agree that you need time to yourself, make yourself happy and find someone compatible who is also a happy WHOLE person.
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