kira11 Posted February 15, 2012 Posted February 15, 2012 hi, i have been married to my husband for 9 years. Last year he started playing this online game where he got chatting to a woman. I was fine with this until he started meeting her in secret. I found out and went mad and he said they are only friends (he first meet her in september last year).I have found flirty messeges on his phone and his skype. I couldn't help myself to look as i'm sure he is having an affair. He went mad at me for not trusting him but deep down i know something ain't right. He talks down to me,he isn't very loving anymore. He now claims this woman is his best friend. He tells her every argument we have. He is constantley talking to her 24/7,he hardly talks to me. It feels like he is very distant from me. I love him so much and i don't want to lose him to this woman. My sister says if we keep arguing he will go to her it will give him the excuse to move away but she said if we don't keep arguing and everything is fine at home it won't give him the excuse to move. He says he can talk and tell her things that he can't me. I haven't got a clue what he means xx please can someone help xx
Philosoraptor Posted February 15, 2012 Posted February 15, 2012 He's having at the very least an emotional affair and is treating you poorly. Hand him divorce papers and tell wish him the best with his new lady friend... you deserve better.
ENDGAM3 Posted February 16, 2012 Posted February 16, 2012 I can tell you from experience h e is cheating. In my last relationship my best friend was a woman. Now she is my fiancé. Open your eyes a little and you will see.
freestyle Posted February 16, 2012 Posted February 16, 2012 Read the book, "Not Just Friends" by Dr. Shirley Glass. And see if you can get your H to read it, too.Maybe it will open his eyes. Also, read up on doing the 180--you need to start playing hardball, if you're hoping to save your marriage. Your sister has given you bad advice---if you don't remain firm in your position, your H will respect you even less. His behavior is completely inappropriate for a married man.
PegNosePete Posted February 16, 2012 Posted February 16, 2012 If he is not cheating then I will eat my hat. Without ketchup. Seriously there are so many red flags here it is unbelievable. He is definitely, 100% having an affair.
Try Posted February 21, 2012 Posted February 21, 2012 My sister says if we keep arguing he will go to her it will give him the excuse to move away but she said if we don't keep arguing and everything is fine at home it won't give him the excuse to move. Your sister is telling you that it does not matter if he cheats, do not argue with him about or you will lose him. What she is missing is that if he is cheating what would I be losing? He is having an emotional affair (EA) for sure. It may also be a physical affair (PA). Put your foot down right now. Tell him to drop the friend. If he refuses then you know that it has already gone too far and you must be willing to walk away as your marraige will end soon enough anyway.
archer2012 Posted February 21, 2012 Posted February 21, 2012 never ever ignore a gut feeling. there is ALWAYS a reason you feel insecure. if you were completely innocent, and your partner came to you with a concern, wouldnt you do everything in your power to make them feel better rather than get angry? i would. in this scenario, anger = guilt. dont be a doormat. be tough and if he leaves then good riddance to bad rubbish. it will be hard and painful but youll make it through. 2
TheFinalWord Posted February 21, 2012 Posted February 21, 2012 hi, i have been married to my husband for 9 years. Last year he started playing this online game where he got chatting to a woman. I was fine with this until he started meeting her in secret. I found out and went mad and he said they are only friends (he first meet her in september last year).I have found flirty messeges on his phone and his skype. I couldn't help myself to look as i'm sure he is having an affair. He went mad at me for not trusting him but deep down i know something ain't right. He talks down to me,he isn't very loving anymore. He now claims this woman is his best friend. He tells her every argument we have. He is constantley talking to her 24/7,he hardly talks to me. It feels like he is very distant from me. I love him so much and i don't want to lose him to this woman. My sister says if we keep arguing he will go to her it will give him the excuse to move away but she said if we don't keep arguing and everything is fine at home it won't give him the excuse to move. He says he can talk and tell her things that he can't me. I haven't got a clue what he means xx please can someone help xx I'm very sorry. As soon as he started acting secrely with another woman he violated your wedding vow. That is uncalled for. Don't let him blame you. If he has an issue with your marriage, he should talk to you: his WIFE. Not another woman. There's no excuse for that. 1
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