Desensitized Posted February 15, 2012 Posted February 15, 2012 Hey guys, Been with my girlfriend for a while now and I'm not really feeling it... at least not as strong of a connection as I had with my first true love. Friends have been telling me to give it a bit longer, but I don't know. I never felt like I had to "give it a bit longer" in my last relationship. What do you guys think? She's a cute girl, but sort of childish and irresponsible? Only difference that I really like about this girl is that she appears to be a normal girl, whereas my ex was borderline psychotic. Should I give it some more time and see if I become more attached? Thanks.
Cypress25 Posted February 15, 2012 Posted February 15, 2012 Stop comparing your current gf to your ex. Every relationship is different. How did you fall in love with someone who's borderline psychotic anyway?
whichwayisup Posted February 15, 2012 Posted February 15, 2012 Stop comparing your current gf to your ex. Every relationship is different. How did you fall in love with someone who's borderline psychotic anyway? I agree. You're not doing yourself any favours by comparing your girlfriend to your ex. What you feel should be different! You had an unhealthy relationship and your ex was 'off' slightly and dramatic.. Unless you like that intensity and game playing, chill out and just accept your current gf as she is and learn about her, understand her and let your heart take over. If you can't do that and enjoy your gf then end it so she can find a guy who loves her and wants to be with her.
Tybalt Posted February 15, 2012 Posted February 15, 2012 The psychotic stuff made the highs really high and the lows really low. It is easy to get caught up in that almost as an addictive cycle. One craves the highs and feels desperate to relieve the lows. If that becomes the norm for a person, they may come to believe that anything that doesn't mimic that pattern or provide the highs lacks "passion" and is thus less real. It might be less intense to relate to an emotionally stable person, but it is certainly more viable long term and supportive of personal growth than the other scenario. That being said, just because someone is normal or stable it doesn't mean they are the right match for you. I'd say don't lead this girl on and say things you don't mean, but do the introspection on what you truly value in a relationship and do what is honest and fair by her and for yourself.
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