Stealthbreed Posted February 15, 2012 Posted February 15, 2012 Right guys heres the story i could do with some fast help on, im going to be as honest as i can so i can get honest advice Background: We are both 21 years old. Me and my ex spent 1 year and a half together. We had been friends for quite a few years before that (about 3 or 4). We decided that we would go on holiday together just as friends but one thing led to another and we became quite intimate. We started dating when we got back. I go to university so it was quite hard seeing her from september - june due to living far away. But we still saw each other once a month for a week. I was happy with that, and so was she. We have had a bumpy road. In the past 1 and a half years i have been very insecure (im ashamed to admit it). She is beautiful and i always thought people where trying to flirt with her. The start of my insecurities was when she told me that she was bisexual. This should not have been an issue but i thought she would leave me. I also created some lies to make myself look like the 'guy every girl likes' because i wanted her too not loose interest (i stopped doing this round summer last year) We also used to play games via the Playstation 3 together. It was ok but last summer i started getting a bit too competitive, and i took things too far sometimes and it got to the point where she couldn't play games with me because i just wanted to win all the time. Ok the good stuff. I was really caring and loving for her. even though i was a bastard with some of the stuff i did i never cheated, i gave her my whole heart. SHe is the fist girl iv ever fallen in love with. WE went on two holidays together and even she said they where amazing. She even says we had some really good times. Just a month ago when i went home we met up (we was still dating) and she said it was good. We got along so well and she was genuinely happy. But a few weeks ago i started getting competitive again on the PS and she had enough. Since we have broken up (the past 2 weeks) i have hated myself, Im such a monster. since being away from her i have realised what i have done, and why i even had these insecurities. It just seems all so silly why i used to get upset over things that wasnt even happening. I was just too caught up in the relationship and i started to obsess over it. Never clingy but i started to stalk some of the forums she went on... But i realise where i have gone wrong and all as i want to do is get back with her and show her how i have changed and realised stuff. I know some of you are going to think im disgusting but all as i want is to be back with her. I see her as my future wife. I put so much time and effort into her family (she is chinese) so i learnt some of the lingo, and attended a few of her family meals. I would like to add that i have had a total of 4 professional counselling sessions and i feel i have made progress. The here and now: now that i have realised where i have gone wrong i have to go home tomorrow for a dentist appointment. She lives near my house so i was thinking about popping round and having a talk with her. Yes i really want to get back with her and that will be what i talk about. I don't want to come across as desperate but i really really want her back so much. I cannot get rid of the memories as we have had such a good time together and she said last summer was amazing (i was home from uni then). with the continuation of these professional counselling sessions i can get even better and once they are over and i feel confident again, i could ask her if she would be willing to get back with me then to try things? one thing i might add is she said "if we ever break up i cant get back with the person i used to date". This should be something telling me that i shouldn't go back, but i KNOW that she still has feelings for me! I know this is a pretty f**kd up situation but i really need some advice from this community
pie2 Posted February 18, 2012 Posted February 18, 2012 By "pop around", do you mean call her up and ask her if she wants to meet? I probably wouldn't just show up unannounced, but you could see if she wants to meet for coffee or something. People say many things that they don't end up following through with once they're in the situation (i.e. never dating someone once broken up). She might still have feelings...don't give up. And time heals many wounds. So just be patient, and focus on your own growth/maturation. Also, don't forget that you're very young still, and this relationship may be very significant at this time in your life...but she may not be your ultimate life-long partner. If she does not end up wanting to continue in a relationship with you, try to really hold on to the wonderful memories, and the ways she helped you grow into the person you are becoming now. Just appreciate the relationship for what it was...not what you think it would/could/should have been.
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