KJauron Posted February 14, 2012 Posted February 14, 2012 (edited) I was in a relationship with a guy for nearly 4 years. I'm only 17 now, so we started dating young. I know that it might sound silly, but I really did think that he was "the one"... I ended our relationship last weekend. I still have mixed feeling about it, but I know that it was for the best ultimately. I mean, I didn't feel appreciated, or respected anymore. It didn't feel like he really loved me anymore. I felt like I was the only one trying to hold us together. Part of the reason was that I didn't feel like I could trust him. He would go to his father's house for a week or two (or for the entire summer), and I would never hear from him. (His father did not like me at all, and probably was a factor in that) I understand he was spending time with his father, but to me, it just seemed common courtesy to send a quick text or call for a couple of minutes when there's down time. I don't need to know what he's doing every minute of the day, but he shouldn't have ignored me for six weeks straight. That was one summer, he promised not to do it again, it happened the next summer. Also he never told me anything. He would go off to concerts or parties with his friends, and I would have no idea unless someone let something slip. I felt like he was trying to hide things from me, and I didn't like it at all. It seemed like his father was controlling him completely too, and when he's going on 18 soon, that's not really good. He was also irresponsible. He's smart, he really is. But he was just so lazy, and didn't care. He would fail classes by the quarter, but pass them overall with a near perfect final exam score. It was all because he wouldn't ever do his classwork or homework. Whenever we had a date, he would always come late, or bring me home late. I couldn't rely on him. Also is the immaturity aspect... he was a lot more mature than most of the people in my high school, but still immature. I couldn't take that. For my age, I am a very mature young woman- I can't wait to go to college so I'll be around people that are more mature, this high school is driving me nuts.Also he was a little pushy. We both wanted to wait until marriage to have sex- we agreed on that long before our relationship got serious. And we stayed true to that (as far as I know), but he kept hinting about it and wanting to mess around constantly, I couldn't take it all the time like that. There's a time and a place for things like that, and he never seemed to understand that concept. Christmas was another heart-breaker. He went to his father's house for Christmas, and I was a little worried because of the past two summers. I asked him to please not ignore me the entire vacation (especially since Christmas is my birthday). He promised that he wouldn't multiple times. I believed him. The 23rd, he told me that he was going hunting with his dad on Christmas Eve. I was a little worried, especially with the fact that he had never hunted before, and I only got more worried when he never talked to me on Christmas Eve. Or Christmas day. He did call on Christmas day, but it was late at night. I was extremely upset, and we talked for a while... and I don't know whether it was him saying the right things, or with my own low self-esteem, but eventually I started feeling bad for being so upset. He promised that it wouldn't happen again. He talked to me the next day, trying desperately to make it up to me. Then he ignored me for the rest of the week-long break. I was furious. He told me that his phone charger wouldn't plug into the outlets at his father's house (I knew it was a lie, and a week or two later he told me a different story). Another thing that hurt was the fact that he never got me anything for my birthday. I wasn't so upset about that-I'm not really one to require presents... but the fact that he never did, didn't talk to me, and still hadn't gotten anything from the time we had ended it (2 months later), it was a little much. I miss him. He won't talk to me or even look at me. I miss what we used to have. He's going to college full-time next year, and in my senior year I'm taking college classes, so I'll be going back and forth between the high school and college..... I had been trying since Christmas to try and fix things so that they were how they used to be, and it felt like he wasn't doing a thing. I wasn't happy, I was tired of making excuses for his behavior, I didn't feel appreciated or respected, and I felt like I was being taken for granted, and advantage of. I still love him, but I didn't love being in a relationship with him. It wasn't worth all of the hurt. I haven't been single in almost four years.... I'm really sorry for rambling this much, it just feels really good to get this all out, but I just need to know... Did I make the right decision? Based on what I've written here? Was I being taken for granted? Thank you very much for answering, anybody, and again, I'm sorry it's so long! Edited February 14, 2012 by KJauron
Author KJauron Posted February 16, 2012 Author Posted February 16, 2012 I do feel better right now, and have felt better than I have in a long time... I'm just still confused if I did the right thing, or if I should have just stuck it through and tried more to work things out...
Frank13 Posted February 16, 2012 Posted February 16, 2012 I feel you did the right thing. I don't see a single thing about this guy that makes him worthy of your love or affection. He was taking you for granted. Not calling or even a simple text for weeks at a time? He may have wanted out of the relationship and this is how he went about it. I would go no contact and move on. You are so young. There will be others in your life who will treat you like you deserve. Then you will look back at this guy and wonder what you ever saw in him.
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