JuJulie Posted February 14, 2012 Posted February 14, 2012 I have been going out with my long-distance boyfriend for a year and a half. He used to be this kind, sweet, romantic guy, who would do anything for me but now he treats me like I'm this giant pain in his ass. He has gotten considerably worse since we last saw each other face to face. Nothing went wrong when we did, in fact it went quite well but since he came back to his country, he hasn't wanted to skype with me, he says seeing or hearing me makes him miss me too much. He is quickly losing his libido and is always cold towards me. He is depressed because he has no friends (or one friend who's not really present in his life) so I don't really know what to do anymore. I've told him I think he should get therapy or see a doctor but he says he's been to one years ago and it didn't help (mainly because the doctor didn't actually diagnose him with depression...). He hates it every time I bring it up and basically tells me the only thing that could help him, is me coming to visit him. I am planning to do that this summer but I don't want to go through what I already did after I leave. I don't know what to do anymore, especially since he mentions thoughts of suicide
jerbear Posted February 17, 2012 Posted February 17, 2012 Sounds like you two are young and he is underemployed? Depressed because of his situation? Suicide, well you could refer him to his country's services and "be there for him." He has to get out of his rut himself. You can only help.
leannesagoodman Posted February 17, 2012 Posted February 17, 2012 This is a really difficult situation. I know how you feel - even though me and my ldr have unfortuantely split, when we were together last year she used to get very down, as did I, but it was very difficult for us both. The only times we were truly happy was when we were seeing one another properly, in person. Counselling and therapy don't always work, it has to be said - I think it depends on the person. It's worth a try in any case but it can be quite hard to convince your partner that it's a good idea, especially if he's not had good experiences of it in the past. Other things that you can do is get him to try to take up a hobby and to have less free time on his hands. He may already do this but that can help. To start feeling better though, I suppose he's got to be ready to start to want to feel better. I mean he probably doesn't want to feel so down all the time, but there's got to be that motivation to turn things around, and that might take some time. But everyone's different, so different things work for different people. I hope he does start feeling better though because it sounds like you two are very good for each other
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