chevronone Posted February 14, 2012 Posted February 14, 2012 (edited) I recently came out of a 6 month relationship less than one month ago. Our relationship moved very fast and we were inseperable for the time we dated. A few times he would end up in tears saying how he is the luckiest guy in the world to have found me. During our relationship, my current boyfriend was very uncomfortable that I maintained a friendship with an ex that I dated years ago. He would often say that this particular past ex and I had a lot of unfinished business with one another. About one month ago, we broke up. I was under the impression we broke it off because he was paranoid and very uncomfortable that I was maintaining a friendship with someone from my past. He told me that I had unfinished business and that he grew to love me like a friend. He ignored me for a few weeks, and I took the break-up very well. We maintained No Contact, until out of the blue I contacted him to see if we could talk about why we broke up. He spoke through text messages and I was surprised to find out that he left NOT because he lost feelings for me, but because he was arrested on a DUI charge. He told me that he was embarassed and ashamed and that he was having too much going on in his life at the moment to be in a relationship. He asked me for his space and I did not contact him for two weeks. I figured I'd let him deal with his legal situation alone. He said he could not handle a relationship at the time and that he was also paranoid and crazy about me being friends with one of my exes. It has now been two weeks...and I really do miss him. I cut the past ex out of my life for good (not for him, but for me) and I wrote him a letter. In nut shell it says that I understand and accept that he left me and respect that he wants his space (which is why I am writing a letter and not calling/text). I told him that he was correct in saying my previous ex and I had unfinished business and I can understand why he got paranoid. I informed him that my previous ex is no longer part of my life in any fashion and that in the past month I have worked on myself. I went on to say that I would have been there for him through his legal situation and would not have left him. I guess the letter was to say how much I cared about him, that I will leave him alone and I wish him the best. Should I add that I would like the chance to speak with him in person about the matter? Do you think I should or should not send the letter? Edited February 14, 2012 by chevronone
chados Posted February 14, 2012 Posted February 14, 2012 "I recently came out of a 6 month relationship less than one month ago. Our relationship moved very fast and we were inseperable for the time we dated. A few times he would end up in tears saying how he is the luckiest guy in the world to have found me." this could be him having a rough time and in need of someone to be there for him. 6 months isnt a long time and maybe he didnt have any feelings for you. moving to fast is never good, and i can tell you from my own experience that guys really have a problem breaking up with girls "During our relationship, my current boyfriend was very uncomfortable that I maintained a friendship with an ex that I dated years ago. He would often say that this particular past ex and I had a lot of unfinished business with one another" if i would have been in his situation i wouldnt be bothered as long as i felt that i could trust the other person and be sure there wasnt anything going on. "He ignored me for a few weeks, and I took the break-up very well. We maintained No Contact, until out of the blue I contacted him to see if we could talk about why we broke up. He spoke through text messages and I It has now been two weeks...and I really do miss him." do you really want him? this sounds that after he ignored you, you wanted him back. which is normal and nothing that people choose. its just that your feelings is mixed up with the loneliness and the fact that someone didnt see the value in you. "I went on to say that I would have been there for him through his legal situation and would not have left him. I guess the letter was to say how much I cared about him, that I will leave him alone and I wish him the best. Should I add that I would like the chance to speak with him in person about the matter? Do you think I should or should not send the letter?" no you shouldnt do anything, never chase someone that doesnt want to be chased. he made it clear for you that he needs space.. get this, breakups are almost never completely honest. breakups are selfish and people are taking the easy way out. and sometimes they dont know exactly why they broke up with you. he told you that he broke up with you because you stayed friends with your ex. he should at least tell you that he couldnt handle it before breaking up. that doesnt make any sense to me. he also told you that he felt ashamed because of that legal situation. if he cant talk about this with you, dont you think he might as well find other reasons to break up with you again. i honestly believe that he doesnt have these feelings for you. he's just insecure with something in life. however if you do want to try again, i wouldnt definitely tell you to stay away and let him contact you.
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