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Still give Valentine's gift?


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Posted

So, I've been seeing this girl for about 2-3 months. As of a couple days ago, we decided to take a break for awhile but it was mainly my decision. It really comes down to her not having much time for the relationship and it's caused some recent arguments.

 

My problem is that I got her a gift several days ago. So, do I still give the gift tomorrow? Or should I stand strong behind my decision that we shouldn't talk for awhile. Please keep in mind that I really want things to work with her in the future.

Posted
... keep in mind that I really want things to work with her in the future.

 

Then give her the gift!

  • Author
Posted

I also had plans to cook her favorite dinner. I think it's important to make this day special for her, yet I don't want it to overshadow my other concerns right now and allow her to think everything that she's doing is okay. Thoughts?

Posted (edited)

I could be wrong about this, but you already sound much, MUCH more interested in the relationship than she does.

And confused.

 

Let me reflect this back to you:

 

You're seeing someone for a brief time (2-3 months).

 

She already, during this honeymoon phase, is not making time to see you.

 

You're upset and suggest a break (after just a handful of weeks).

 

She agrees.

 

You want to refrain from talking so as to not dilute whatever message you're sending with this break.

 

You want to stand firm!

 

Yet you also plan to have her over and cook her favorite dinner and give her a present.

 

My thought is, either you're in or you're out.

 

Invite her over tonight, reconcile, find an understanding, give her the present, go forward

 

OR

 

Break your vow of silence briefly to wish her a Happy Valentine's Day and tell her you hope to talk soon.

Edited by cerridwen
Posted

I think you should stay with your break. Cooking her dinner and giving her a gift will appear to be groveling. Doing these things after breaking it off with her sends a confusing signal and makes it seem like the "break" is sort of punitive for not spending enough time with you.

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