fortyninethousand322 Posted February 15, 2012 Posted February 15, 2012 Living with flatmates isn't much more expensive than living with parents, especially if the houseshare is larger. I know I would have trouble relating to someone who didn't want to assert their independence fully as soon as they started earning a wage. I dated men in the past who moved back home when it made financial sense or after a divorce but that sort of made them come across a bit sheltered. Not a quality I find attractive in a man. This makes perfect sense. So why was I criticized when I said I had to wait until I had my own place and a good job before I started dating?
Emilia Posted February 15, 2012 Posted February 15, 2012 This makes perfect sense. So why was I criticized when I said I had to wait until I had my own place and a good job before I started dating? Waiting around doesn't make sense at all. Everyone is different, some people are more accepting as you can see on this thread.
fortyninethousand322 Posted February 15, 2012 Posted February 15, 2012 I agree whole heartedly. Youth itself is desirable, and you can miss out on it, by being so focussed on working/studying. All the money and status in the world won't bring that back (though some people try with cosmetic surgery). There's nothing attractive about an unemployed 24 year old who's living at home I can tell you that much. So the reality is that there are some things I have to do first before I can be considered dateable.
Emilia Posted February 15, 2012 Posted February 15, 2012 There's nothing attractive about an unemployed 24 year old who's living at home I can tell you that much. So the reality is that there are some things I have to do first before I can be considered dateable. You can still talk to girls. In general it's not a good idea to look for excuses as to why you can't do something.
fortyninethousand322 Posted February 15, 2012 Posted February 15, 2012 Waiting around doesn't make sense at all. Everyone is different, some people are more accepting as you can see on this thread. I never said everyone has to wait. I was saying that I should given the facts of my life. And in response most people were very negative which didn't make much sense to me.
ThaWholigan Posted February 15, 2012 Posted February 15, 2012 There's nothing attractive about an unemployed 24 year old who's living at home I can tell you that much. So the reality is that there are some things I have to do first before I can be considered dateable. He's not wrong . It's not so bad if you are studying though, they're much more forgiving. However if you're unemployed AND not studying, you've got problems......
Emilia Posted February 15, 2012 Posted February 15, 2012 He's not wrong . It's not so bad if you are studying though, they're much more forgiving. However if you're unemployed AND not studying, you've got problems...... I see plenty of those guys that manage to get the ladies pregnant somehow nevertheless Not suggesting that you should do that though obviously
zengirl Posted February 15, 2012 Posted February 15, 2012 Living with flatmates isn't much more expensive than living with parents, especially if the houseshare is larger. I know I would have trouble relating to someone who didn't want to assert their independence fully as soon as they started earning a wage. I dated men in the past who moved back home when it made financial sense or after a divorce but that sort of made them come across a bit sheltered. Not a quality I find attractive in a man. I think it's fine if you'd have trouble relating to them! I'm just saying I don't think it's the same thing as a failure to launch if they are contributing or a functional part of their family.
ThaWholigan Posted February 15, 2012 Posted February 15, 2012 I see plenty of those guys that manage to get the ladies pregnant somehow nevertheless Not suggesting that you should do that though obviously I know lots of guys like that too. You have to have some serious game though. Besides, a significant portion of those guys date these women because they do have the money (i.e. they sell drugs )
monkey00 Posted February 15, 2012 Posted February 15, 2012 I always wanted the living at campus experience, but don't live far away enough. I feel like I really missed out in that respect. You wouldn't want to live at home if you have really conservative parents like I do. I commuted from home for college with conservative parents, it wasn't all that bad. If what you think you missed out on was the frat life, sorority girls, and parties, there's more to life than just that. I find campus life to be over rated.
spookie Posted February 15, 2012 Posted February 15, 2012 My parent had no respect for my privacy and I could not wait to move out. I do so at age 18 and have never been back. Im 25. If they lived closer to me now I would consider it on a temporary basis. It would be nice to spend some time with them (we only see each over a couple times a year) and I would love to save some money on rent. With how many people in my generation are still living with their folks, I don't think there is the same stigma as there once was about that.
Titania22 Posted February 15, 2012 Posted February 15, 2012 There's nothing attractive about an unemployed 24 year old who's living at home I can tell you that much. So the reality is that there are some things I have to do first before I can be considered dateable. There is if he is a gamer, and maybe likes watching anime. Actually when my girlfriend was around 30 she met a man also around 30, who was unemployed and living with his parents. They ended up getting married and are still together. It gets better, she had a mortgage for a unit she had been paying off for a few years, and when they married she didn't even hesitate, put him straight on the deed and mortgage too. Now yes he did had to find some sort of job before their wedding day, but he met her and wooed her all while appearing as the hopeless loser with no ambition. I mean he didn't even pretend he was trying to find a job for most of there early relationship, he had a nintendo or an xbox, and his mum brought him food right to his bedroom.
Els Posted February 15, 2012 Posted February 15, 2012 There is if he is a gamer, and maybe likes watching anime. Actually when my girlfriend was around 30 she met a man also around 30, who was unemployed and living with his parents. They ended up getting married and are still together. It gets better, she had a mortgage for a unit she had been paying off for a few years, and when they married she didn't even hesitate, put him straight on the deed and mortgage too. Now yes he did had to find some sort of job before their wedding day, but he met her and wooed her all while appearing as the hopeless loser with no ambition. I mean he didn't even pretend he was trying to find a job for most of there early relationship, he had a nintendo or an xbox, and his mum brought him food right to his bedroom. Ughhhh. Different strokes for different folks, I guess. I love gamers, current bf used to play competitively. But I'd never want a guy like that. Not even TRYING to find a job or go to university or do anything? Ick. People like that give others a bad impression of gamers IMO. It's entirely possible to play video games as a hobby and NOT let your entire life go by the wayside. I think it's important to make a distinction between people who are working/studying and just living with their parents to save money, and people who are literally not doing anything other than being served by their parents and playing xbox all day.
Sanman Posted February 16, 2012 Posted February 16, 2012 There's nothing attractive about an unemployed 24 year old who's living at home I can tell you that much. So the reality is that there are some things I have to do first before I can be considered dateable. Well, I find that fewer quality women will be interested in dating you, but those who are tend to be more desirable as they will stick with you. The opposite is true when you have money and things. You are easily liked when you can wine and dine a woman and bring her back to your posh place, but look how many disappear if the money does as well.
Titania22 Posted February 16, 2012 Posted February 16, 2012 Ughhhh. Different strokes for different folks, I guess. I love gamers, current bf used to play competitively. But I'd never want a guy like that. Not even TRYING to find a job or go to university or do anything? Ick. People like that give others a bad impression of gamers IMO. It's entirely possible to play video games as a hobby and NOT let your entire life go by the wayside. I think it's important to make a distinction between people who are working/studying and just living with their parents to save money, and people who are literally not doing anything other than being served by their parents and playing xbox all day. I don't think that guy was really a gamer, I think he was just bored. He had worked before but got retrenched and was happy just living off the payout for a while. Look he wasn't my cup of tea. The point was to 49K that there are women who will be interested. In her case, it was all she could get and she realised it. She didn't want to spend her whole life alone.
phineas Posted February 16, 2012 Posted February 16, 2012 I got my own place when I got my first REAL job after college & paid off most of my loans. Maybe 26. My cousins all lived at home into their late 20's. My parents lets me pretty much do what I wanted as long as I helped out at home. I still got laid. Just not at home. If I dated a woman with her own place we went there & she never minded. If I dated a woman that still lived at home, that made things difficult but back then I drove a conversion van so it wasn't THAT difficult. LOL!
FitChick Posted February 16, 2012 Posted February 16, 2012 I commuted from home for college with conservative parents, it wasn't all that bad. I had a friend in college who commuted and so, obviously, she needed a car which her parents provided. They thought they were keeping tabs on her because she had to come home every night. However, what they didn't know what that this car had a big backseat and she kept a pillow and blankets in the trunk. One time she had to rush to get home and her dad was waiting up. She went upstairs and noticed that she'd put on her dress inside out. Dad evidently wasn't fashion savvy so hadn't noticed. This woman was the biggest slut on campus and her parents were clueless.
fortyninethousand322 Posted February 16, 2012 Posted February 16, 2012 There is if he is a gamer, and maybe likes watching anime. Darn. I'm into neither of those things. Sports and academic lectures on youtube are my hobbies. Maybe I've got that market cornered, who knows. I think it's important to make a distinction between people who are working/studying and just living with their parents to save money, and people who are literally not doing anything other than being served by their parents and playing xbox all day. Yeah I was staying at home while in college (I worked too). But I haven't been able to snag a job and I think maybe it's made me depressed because I've stopped trying to find one the few weeks. But right now, I'm unemployed, living at home (and sharing a 9x10 room with my brother) and I don't have any kind of plans or anything. So, I really understand that for most women that's a deal breaker. And to be honest, it'd be a deal breaker for me too if the shoe was on the other foot.
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