How many of us are living at home currently?

February 14, 2012

All our kids have made it clear that they still want their rooms whether they are there or not! Our priority is that sooner or later we will be accommodating whoever outlives the other with my Hubby's parents. This part of our lives really is about spending time with them as they are very aged now. Hubby sees them most days.

Thankfully we are able to extend our new home for such eventualities but I am against adult children staying in the home who don't do anything, or just bitch all the time.

Personally I grew up in care so did not have a home. Hubby moved out of his parents home at age 27, after he got married first time around.

Take care,

Eve x

February 14, 2012

I lived at home until age 27. I know some think that's too long, but I had a good family life and my post-college working time was shakey...so I stayed home and moved out when I saw I could financially handle it.

Unfortunately, the post-dotcom recession sent me back home at age 30, and I stayed there until 35. I had spent that time starting grad school, landing a solid FT job, and saving up a down payment on a condo.

I applaud those who move out at a younger age and manage to make it, but I don't condemn those who couldn't. It's hard out there, and the answers aren't as easy as some make it out to be. If you have a good family who has your back, you have solid plans and are sticking them, and you're working hard, then stay home until you can do a solid launch.

I even think some people staying home will make for stronger families in the US. For a country that keeps talking about "family values", we seem to have many who want to move far away at age 18, stay far away, have groans when they have to go home to visit family, and later toss their parents into a home rather than take them in. That's even more messed up than someone living at home longer than 18.

The only thing I ever feel we as a society need to work on is this new epidemic of prolonged adolescence. The 25 and up folk who still live like teenagers, and seemingly have no notions of really "growing up".

February 14, 2012

It would be a nuisance for a lot of relationships to have folks around

As for the guy or gal living at home, I guess it wouldn't be so bad as long as he or she can look after themselves in the same way that someone living by themselves can (i.e. do the laundry and shopping all by themselves).

This discussion would have been quite different about five years ago IMO. In some parts of the world, there's just not enough work out there (I can give a slamming-good explanation as to why high unemployment is persisting, though here is not the place) and younger people often just don't have a job or enough income. Given this, I would not think that living at home should carry the stigma that it once did.

February 14, 2012

You're the friend who doesn't care about privacy right!

I've lived on my own since I was 18 you big baby! If I find out your Cer I'm going spank you bare ass with my belt.

When I was 11, I had a full-time job and a house with a 2nd mortgage!

February 14, 2012

I left home at 18 to go to university which was paid for by me, scholarships and student loans. I lived in the dorm and with roommates in off campus housing during the summer when we all worked to save for the following year. After graduating, I worked as a waitress to make money to travel around Europe by myself for three months. Best thing I ever did. I learned to take care of myself and have done so ever since. Never a property owner, which seems to have been a wise choice considering the dire straits most people are in.

I blame my generation for coddling their kids, so now it's instant karma as the birds come back home to the nest. When the parents die, what will these adult babies do? They have no life skills. They will inherit the house but will probably squander it.

February 14, 2012

I immediately moved out after graduating and landing a job.

I followed that same path. I stayed at home until my final semester of college so I was 21 when I moved out. While living with my parents I did what I could to cover my expenses and worked 2 job at the time. I moved into my apartment at 21 and purchased a house at 22.

February 14, 2012

I've gone back and forth on this. I really really want to move out, and a big part of me wishes I had moved away for college. But, I went the fiscally wise way and went to a cheaper commuter school. But, I really don't want to work 3 jobs to afford a place which is basically what I'd have to do right now.

The vast majority of people I know live with their parents. Everyone is 25 or under though so it's not like we're in our thirties or anything, and most of them are doing pretty good with their romantic life.

In any case I've firmly committed myself to not dating or bothering with women until I have a great job and my own place. Maybe then I'll be interested in women and they'll be interested in me.

February 14, 2012

I followed that same path. I stayed at home until my final semester of college so I was 21 when I moved out. While living with my parents I did what I could to cover my expenses and worked 2 job at the time. I moved into my apartment at 21 and purchased a house at 22.

I probably didn't have to walk that path since my job and parents are in the same city. I think it was a personal choice to live independently. Had I lived at home I would've saved over 30k on rent alone over the past few years. I own a condo now but I would have been able to save much quicker if I lived at home instead.

It depends for each person whether money and saving is more important, or independence and learning to fend for yourself.

My parents gave me a lot of crap for moving out initially because they felt I was throwing money away on rent. Which is true. But are you really living?

February 14, 2012

I really don't think that just because someone doesn't live with their parents you can assume they "launched".

I've met a few guys that live with legitimate roommates but are still living like frat boys into their late 20's and early 30's. They spend all of their disposable income on beer, cigarettes, video games, the newest gadgets, going out on weekends. Their place is a mess, they may work a decent job but it's not going anywhere and they don't care, their 5 year plan is to simply not go broke. They basically live paycheck to paycheck and it's ok with them.

I live a pretty weekend warrior lifestyle but I've gotten past the age of overdoing it. Most times I drink water at the bar. My job doesn't pay all that much and there aren't many opportunities for advancement and that's why I'm constantly taking classes and studying to beef up my resume and applying everywhere I can. My apt is in order and I hit the gym or go for a jog to blow off steam instead of getting wasted or zoning out on the couch.

I would much rather date a guy that lives with family but acts like an adult in the other ways than an overgrown frat boy. Overgrown frat boys also always seem to tell stories about their "glory days" of high school and college, it seems like that's the phase of their life they are stuck in...

February 14, 2012

I've gone back and forth on this. I really really want to move out, and a big part of me wishes I had moved away for college. But, I went the fiscally wise way and went to a cheaper commuter school. But, I really don't want to work 3 jobs to afford a place which is basically what I'd have to do right now.

The vast majority of people I know live with their parents. Everyone is 25 or under though so it's not like we're in our thirties or anything, and most of them are doing pretty good with their romantic life.

In any case I've firmly committed myself to not dating or bothering with women until I have a great job and my own place. Maybe then I'll be interested in women and they'll be interested in me.

Hate to say this dude, but if you wait forever you might just be missing out on life.

February 15, 2012

When I was 11, I had a full-time job and a house with a 2nd mortgage!

You had a house?!? You were lucky! We lived in a shoebox in the middle of the road...

February 15, 2012

Hate to say this dude, but if you wait forever you might just be missing out on life.

I agree whole heartedly. Youth itself is desirable, and you can miss out on it, by being so focussed on working/studying. All the money and status in the world won't bring that back (though some people try with cosmetic surgery).

February 15, 2012

You had a house?!? You were lucky! We lived in a shoebox in the middle of the road...

You had a shoebox?!

I lived for 3 months in a rolled up newspaper in a septic tank. I used to have to get up every morning at 6 o'clock and clean the newspaper!

February 15, 2012

Shrugs, I know many youths with great jobs who live with their parents. Doctors, lawyers, you name it. Maybe it's an Asian culture thing - they and their parents figure that since they live nearby anyway, might as well live at home and save the dough instead of paying a 3rd party landlord $500/month. So they live at home til they marry, at which point they have usually saved up enough between the two of them to put down the down payment on a house, which is an investment instead of solely expenditure. Those who live with their parents generally also tend to have a very close-knit family and understanding parents though.

Those, like me, who'll never see eye to eye on most major issues with their parents, moved the hell out as soon as they could find an excuse to do so.

February 15, 2012

You had a shoebox?!
I lived for 3 months in a rolled up newspaper in a septic tank. I used to have to get up every morning at 6 o'clock and clean the newspaper!

Tell kids that today and they wouldn't believe you!

February 15, 2012

Shrugs, I know many youths with great jobs who live with their parents. Doctors, lawyers, you name it. Maybe it's an Asian culture thing - they and their parents figure that since they live nearby anyway, might as well live at home and save the dough instead of paying a 3rd party landlord $500/month. So they live at home til they marry, at which point they have usually saved up enough between the two of them to put down the down payment on a house, which is an investment instead of solely expenditure. Those who live with their parents generally also tend to have a very close-knit family and understanding parents though.

This is a good point. The notion of individualism and nuclear families is a new one that only exists in European cultures (I include North America, Australia and other European colonised territories). It's pretty much the exception not the rule. The extended family and communal living are much more common elsewhere in the world and our own history.

February 15, 2012

This is a good point. The notion of individualism and nuclear families is a new one that only exists in European cultures (I include North America, Australia and other European colonised territories). It's pretty much the exception not the rule. The extended family and communal living are much more common elsewhere in the world and our own history.

It is true. Often times it can be a cultural thing on whether or not it is acceptable as a norm. All my asian friends still live at home and are in relationships where their gfs are also, and it is acceptable by both sides. None of them are rebellious or independent in the Western sense, so they still follow traditional values set forth by their parents. With the cost of living being so high where I am, the thought of spewing out rent to a landlord every month just sounds plain dumb in hindsight.

Edited February 15, 2012 by monkey00

February 15, 2012

I probably didn't have to walk that path since my job and parents are in the same city. I think it was a personal choice to live independently. Had I lived at home I would've saved over 30k on rent alone over the past few years. I own a condo now but I would have been able to save much quicker if I lived at home instead.

It depends for each person whether money and saving is more important, or independence and learning to fend for yourself.

My parents gave me a lot of crap for moving out initially because they felt I was throwing money away on rent. Which is true. But are you really living?

It isn't just about saving money though. Independent means you learn how to rely on yourself completely, gaining additional social skills when you live in houseshares is invaluable in my opinion. There is something quite immature about tiptoeing back to your parents' house at 2am in the morning because you don't want to wake them up. What if you want to bring people back to yours and carry on with the partying? Or just cook Sunday dinner for your friends on the spur of the moment?

I think living at home with your parents stops you from expanding your horizons and living as a fully grown adult. Not only because you don't have all the freedom you want - though that's important since you have to learn how to use that freedom - but also because you should be able to lead a fully functioning life all by yourself in my opinion. That ranges from knowing what to do when the boiler stops working and how to deal with troublesome neighbours to how to budget financially.

February 15, 2012

All my asian friends still live at home and are in relationships where their gfs are also, and it is acceptable by both sides. None of them are rebellious or independent in the Western sense, so they still follow traditional values set forth by their parents.

From a woman's point of view that's a complete nightmare. You move in with your in-laws from your parents' house overtaking many of the household duties that your mother-in-law used to be responsible for. It's not what I call living. As a woman you have very little voice in your parents' house and even less so in your in-law's house afterwards. No thanks.

February 15, 2012

I always wanted the living at campus experience, but don't live far away enough. I feel like I really missed out in that respect. You wouldn't want to live at home if you have really conservative parents like I do.

February 15, 2012

I always wanted the living at campus experience, but don't live far away enough. I feel like I really missed out in that respect. You wouldn't want to live at home if you have really conservative parents like I do.

You should live in a houseshare. You don't have to live on a campus to find like-minded people. I think it would be good for you to mix with people your own age more

February 15, 2012

I also think generational too. When my parents were my age, only one of my relatives finished year 12. Only one or two relatives actually went to university. Everything was on the job training then/ TAFE aka community college. Plus there wasn't any HECS fees. You never had to pay back the money that your schooling cost. The government paid for it. Alot different.

February 15, 2012

I moved out for college when I was 18, for three years. Moved back home when I switched schools to a school that was a 15 minute commute from my parents' house. Moved out again when things got serious with my ex and we decided to get a place together. Then when we broke up, about a year ago, I again moved back in with my parents, which is where I am now. I'm 24.

I get along great with them and privacy and respect of boundaries is never an issue. I pay them (very affordable) rent every month and contribute to grocery shopping. And lately I'm gone about 3 nights a week anyways, because I spend a good chunk of time at my boyfriend's place each week.

Looking to move out again this spring; getting a place with a good friend and her boyfriend. If you want to live in a decent area (and most of the ones close to where I work are) rent is just too expensive. For me, still getting rolling in my career, having a place of my own just isn't an option right now. However I think getting a place with some roommates is a step in the right direction.

Admittedly it's caused me a bit of anxiety in dating; especially when I met my very successful, very independent current boyfriend. I assumed he would look down on me or find it a turn off. I actually told him I was living at home on our very first date (but indicated that I had moved out before, and that I saw this as a somewhat temporary arrangement). He was completely understanding and said that financially, it's a very smart move, and I might as well save the money if I can. That was a relief.

Edited February 15, 2012 by kiss_andmakeup

February 15, 2012

I think that's what Star meant in her post? It's what I took from it, anyway, that people should want to move out, PERIOD, not just for dating reasons?

I think people should want to either move out OR contribute. I could never ever have lived at home with my parents after moving out, but that's me and the way I am. And it's mostly because I hate where they live! And because my Mom is very controlling and having me around all the time would cause her control issues to sprout up (she's way better at managing them now, and I'm proud of her for that).

I have lived in countries where it's the norm to stay at home for longer, some even till you get married. I don't think it's entirely a bad idea. Living alone has always seemed like an unnecessary luxury to me; I only lived alone when the housing was provided for me with my job, and those were very small Asian studios. Instead of living with the folks, though, I had roommates. But I know people who live at home and actually contribute to their parents' household, financially and logistically, and I don't think they are the same as someone who's "failed to launch."

I also know a lot of people who moved home for a year or two to pay down student loans or save for a house and then moved along with that plan. Granted, they didn't totally freeload on their families. They helped around the house or paid something or did something useful for their families. But they needed to save and had a plan to do so.

So, I think you have to assess each situation independently.

February 15, 2012

I also know a lot of people who moved home for a year or two to pay down student loans or save for a house and then moved along with that plan. Granted, they didn't totally freeload on their families. They helped around the house or paid something or did something useful for their families. But they needed to save and had a plan to do so.

So, I think you have to assess each situation independently.

Living with flatmates isn't much more expensive than living with parents, especially if the houseshare is larger. I know I would have trouble relating to someone who didn't want to assert their independence fully as soon as they started earning a wage. I dated men in the past who moved back home when it made financial sense or after a divorce but that sort of made them come across a bit sheltered. Not a quality I find attractive in a man.

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