big_leagues Posted February 14, 2012 Posted February 14, 2012 I am totally lost. Of course quick backstory. Met girlfriend 7 months ago at job. Friends instantly, 3 months later I went for it and kissed her. We were inseparable. She told me after 3 weeks she loved me. I felt the same. We both have 2 kids, both divorced. I have never, ever been so happy with someone. I truly love her. A few weeks ago, we got transferred and don't see each other daily. Last week I went home for a funeral. Few texts, and barely any calls. She seemed really distant. Came home saw her, was great. Next day, she.called me and said her and mom were going out. Never called me that night and her mom was with her all weekend. She only texted me once, saying she.couldn't talk but she loved me. Today, I found out her mom thinks her priorities are messed up and she doesn't know if she can stay with me. She said its not over, but doesn't know what to do. Every text ended with I love u. Then she didn't call after work, saying she.got.busy. said she loves me and will try to meet for breakfast...then I love u??? I'm crushed thinking its over...am I jumping too quick. She keeps saying she.doesn't know what to do.....please help!
ja123 Posted February 14, 2012 Posted February 14, 2012 Not having heard all of the details ... is it possible that her mother has a point? Has your GF been neglecting her parental duties? Does she put you ahead of her kids? (Or do you, for that matter?) If not, then ... Honestly, I find it really weird that a grown woman with two kids has let her mother sway her like this. It sounds like they have some kind of codependent type of relationship going on - the genesis of this, of course, is not your GFs fault as she was raised by her mother; but, as an adult it's up to each of us to work through these issues. There's not a lot you can do ... just tell her how all this makes you feel. Keep it simple, non-judgmental, and from your perspective. No point in trying to get involved between this woman and her mother: it's not your job, first of all, and it sure ain't fun. Give her space and keep yourself busy. Wait to see how she handles it. Maybe she'll break away from her overbearing mother, maybe not; but this ball is not in your court.
Author big_leagues Posted February 14, 2012 Author Posted February 14, 2012 Ya it.doesn't make sense. She says she won't let her control her.. Supposed to meet for breakfast. I guess if she doesn't show up that says a lot.
Author big_leagues Posted February 14, 2012 Author Posted February 14, 2012 We met. She sat down in my car, grabbed my hand. Talked for a little then she wanted to hug for awhile. Didn't talk about anything. Kissed me a few.times and said she loved me and happy valentines day...
kaylan Posted February 14, 2012 Posted February 14, 2012 Something seems fishy dude. Women dont just let things come between them and a guy they really like that easily. They espeically wont let their parents do it if they really want the guy. Im thinking she doesnt really want this and/or may be eyeballing someone new.
Author big_leagues Posted February 14, 2012 Author Posted February 14, 2012 I've been really worried about that, hoping its not true. She wants to see me tmrw , so I am terrified I am walking into a good-bye speech
Author big_leagues Posted February 14, 2012 Author Posted February 14, 2012 One more dumb thing..haha..she continues to play words with friends even though we aren't really talking...just to make it more confusing
Author big_leagues Posted February 14, 2012 Author Posted February 14, 2012 One more dumb thing..haha..she continues to play words with friends even though we aren't really talking...just to make it more confusing. And when I texted.her I left her valentine present in car , she said its okay you will see me tmrw? Wouldn't she say she didn't want it??
Author big_leagues Posted February 14, 2012 Author Posted February 14, 2012 Any last thoughts,heading to her house tmrw morning. She didn't really text today...dammit I'm nervous
Saxis Posted February 14, 2012 Posted February 14, 2012 I just went through 11 days of a similar situation where my GF wasn't communicating or making time for me. She finally told me she loved me for the first time, it scared her and she needed to "think about things". Yes, it hurts not knowing... Just keep yourself busy for now, try not to think the worst, have an open mind and listen to her concerns tomorrow.
Author big_leagues Posted February 14, 2012 Author Posted February 14, 2012 I got one text when I told her I forgot her Valentine gift in my car, she said, don't worry u will see me tomorrow. That's a good text? I don't know
Oxy Moronovich Posted February 14, 2012 Posted February 14, 2012 Any woman that can't make decisions for herself and needs her mommy to make relationship decisions for her isn't gf material.
daphne Posted February 15, 2012 Posted February 15, 2012 Relax and breathe. Your negative energy could inadvertently push her in the wrong direction and to make a decision to go away. You need to prepare for the worst, but hope for the best. In other words, try to relax around her and DO NOT BE AFRAID of losing her. If she wants time to herself or to go away, agree with her. Then pull away. There's not much more you can do, and it helps to preserve your dignity. She may just be going through a bad time, and if you're too attached to how she handles it, it could apply pressure negatively. Try to be upbeat and happy and don't think it's the end. Stay calm and try to be fun. See what happens.
Author big_leagues Posted February 15, 2012 Author Posted February 15, 2012 Having fun is gonna be hard, but I'll try my best
Author big_leagues Posted February 16, 2012 Author Posted February 16, 2012 Worked out well! She explained why she backed off, and we talked a lot of stuff out. Even ended on a good note ..
Author big_leagues Posted February 18, 2012 Author Posted February 18, 2012 Just when I think we're good, she calls me at 5am. Says she loves me, few texts today but she was busy. So after work, no call. No text, no wwf, nothing. I think everything is fine, and then this? Am I nits or do you guys think it sucks? Do I give her this.space she needs or try to figure out whats up? She seemed fine last time I saw her...
Author big_leagues Posted February 18, 2012 Author Posted February 18, 2012 Wake up this morning, and shes playing words.w friends and sending other people messages on facebook!!?? Wtf !!??!!??!!??
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