LaraAnna Posted February 13, 2012 Posted February 13, 2012 (edited) Hi everyone, i just don't know what to do. I have been in a ldr for 1.5 years and its been long distance since the beginning. Last Sunday, I broke up with my bf, but I still don't know if it was the right thing. I didn't break up with him, because I didn't love him anymore, but because I love him so much, I cant stand the waiting and being alone time... I live in Germany and he lives in Belgium and we used to see each other every 4 to 6 weeks. The break up was hard because there are still feelings and I've been miserable ever since, so that makes me wonder if my decision was the right one! Is it really better to be without him than to be with him, but feel bad during the time apart? He doesn't have the problems I do. He thinks the time will go by quickly if i think positively and in 2 years he could move to Munich for the last year of College, and then well be together. But the thought of going through this for the next two years is really stressful for me. So I guess, what I was wondering if anybody was in the same situation or knows if it gets better, or what you would do..Give it another try? thanks, laraanna Edited February 13, 2012 by LaraAnna
Forever Learning Posted February 13, 2012 Posted February 13, 2012 I bet you will find thread upon thread, page upon page, of situations just like yours in this section. It is the nature of the Long Distance Relationship. It'll make you crazy if you let it! As you said yourself, the situation is making you stressful. Humans in love, are not meant to be apart. Hence, the stress, agony, and ecstasy of the Long Distance Relationship. You are not alone in your confusion regarding such a relationship. I would say it's a much easier type of relationship when you are older and have many other obligations to distract you (like in your 40's like myself). Kids, job and basic survival are biggies that keep everything in perspective. But not so in your 20's, when everything is lust and hormones! There is no right or wrong answer I can give you. I will tell you that you are very lucky to have the lovely people of LoveShack here to chat with and seek comfort and advice from. Sooner or later you will figure out, on your own, what it is you are supposed to do regarding your relationship with this fellow. Life is meant to be experienced and enjoyed, not a painful misery of unhappiness and isolation. Been there, done that! Learned it's not a fun way to live. So, figure out what you can do to find happiness, and go out and make it happen. All the best to you dear.
pettie Posted February 13, 2012 Posted February 13, 2012 That was lovely advice, FL. I think we all in a LDR have been through this. It's certainly not easy, but as FL says, keeping yourself busy will make time go faster. Me and my SO are also in our mid 20's and one of the things we both are learning is to be patient. You have an advantage, when it comes to be living so close in Europe - same timezone, cheap flights/trains, no visa issues. For us, we both live in the wrong side of the pond ie- 5/6 h difference, looong flights and on top of that, visa issues. So meeting is not that easy. We've been together for a year by now, most of it being LDR (separated by my job) and we are meeting in a month and a half, after so many months apart. I think one of the things that has kept us sane is that we both have hectic schedules and are very busy with work and life in general. I, like you, have had low moments and have thought on giving up since, at the moment, there is no end for the distance part in the near future (at least, not in the next 3 -4 years), but then, just talking with him again will bring back home that all this waiting is worth the patience. IMO, 2 years will go by so fast that you will barely notice them - look how long you've been together already! I believe you just have to be honest with yourself. Like FL, I also cannot tell you what to do, so I just share my experience so this might give you a little bit of optimism. I sincerely hope all the best for you two.
Fasteddie Posted February 13, 2012 Posted February 13, 2012 i met my very first gf online when i was 17 in a chat room, back then we didn't have skype and webcam. she was 5000 miles away, we made it work for 2 years which costed me so much money just on phone bill, but sadly we both drifted apart when we entered university. until about 4 years ago i went back to my old email address just out pure chance, i found that she sent me an email saying how i was doing and i replied, mind you she sent that a year or so ago as well. And she luckily checked her old email a year or so later, which is pure luck coz she said she in fact forgot her password. So yeah we did reconnect and now as we are older and mature, both of us can really see a future. I am moving there in a few month imo, younger generation can try it but mostly it will fail as they want instant gratification plus there's social pressure. but that's my two cents.
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