Grinder88 Posted February 13, 2012 Posted February 13, 2012 (edited) Okay here's my story I met a girl through a friend. I was, or maybe i still am the guy who lived for the one night stand and clubbing and bars everyweekend. My current girlfriend was never the one night type of girl. We kind of hit it off and started dating it was a month before we had sex. I really like her maybe even love her i'm not sure... This is my first real official relationship and I am starting to hate it. I think Im still not over the last girl i was involved in I don't know if its because i've been "free" for so long or what. But I feel suffocated It seems like a can't make a move without talking to her first and if I go an hour without texting her she will ask me what is so important that i cant respond, from the time i wake up till the time i go to bed. sometimes i just like a nap in the middle of the day but i cant without my phone going off. Last night i hung out with my friends for the first time in about a month(first time ive seen them since weve been dating). She seemed so supportive when i told her on friday what i was doing on the weekend. Then today when she asked if i was coming over today (she lives about 30mins away) and i said i couldnt she got upset. I just got off my phone with her and told her what i did all day and her response "that was why you couldn't see your girlfriend?" I really trying to guilt me up. she was also trying to get hints of what we were doing on valentines day.....i kinda got the vibe like "oh is that it?" I mean im a broke college student with 6 bucks in the bank... I've had just about all i can take from this girl. There are times when I really do love her but then other times I just want to tell her its over, and she seems really attached to me and tells me i mean the world to her and shes so lucky to have me so I feel like im in a hard place and don't know what to do. Addition: she has this insecurity that she isnt pretty even though she gets compliments all the time. And I get the feeling she doesnt think shes the only one because i used to be such a partier and she has a strange what seems like obsession of keeping my phone while we're together and the other night she was blatently reading my texts......ughhhhh I think I know what I have to do but I still need some advice on what i should do. Edited February 13, 2012 by Grinder88
TheFinalWord Posted February 13, 2012 Posted February 13, 2012 LOL Oh man bro. Not trying to laugh, but she epitomizes "the old ball and chain". Doesn't she have a life outside of you? Man, she needs to find other things to do. You're dating, not married. Communication is important, but that is over the top. A relationship is work, but it should be a positive force in your life. When its sucking the life out of you it isn't healthy IMHO. You can try telling her she is smothering you to death if you want since you said you love her. Maybe give her a chance to loosen up. I doubt she'll change though. But if not, you're gonna have to let her go.
Author Grinder88 Posted February 13, 2012 Author Posted February 13, 2012 LOL Oh man bro. Not trying to laugh, but she epitomizes "the old ball and chain". Doesn't she have a life outside of you? Man, she needs to find other things to do. You're dating, not married. Communication is important, but that is over the top. A relationship is work, but it should be a positive force in your life. When its sucking the life out of you it isn't healthy IMHO. You can try telling her she is smothering you to death if you want since you said you love her. Maybe give her a chance to loosen up. I doubt she'll change though. But if not, you're gonna have to let her go. Hahaha yes! I feel like I'm her main connection to the outside world and if I dont see her she can't do anything.....I swear Ill leave after spending the entire day with her and shell get physically ill and say she misses me 30 times within the following 24 hours.....god the more I write it out the crazier she gets hahah
FitChick Posted February 13, 2012 Posted February 13, 2012 You can try telling her she is smothering you to death if you want since you said you love her. Maybe give her a chance to loosen up. I doubt she'll change though. But if not, you're gonna have to let her go. At least try to work this out. Tell her she needs to eliminate her beliefs of "I'm not good enough" and "I'm not important" on the Lefkoe free trial website. Tell her if she doesn't make an effort you are definitely leaving so if she loves you she needs to do it. Why not try eliminating one of the beliefs yourself (the third one is "mistakes and failure are bad") so at least you can say, "It's pretty cool. You should try it. I feel so much better."
ascendotum Posted February 13, 2012 Posted February 13, 2012 Its a real shame you got this type of girl for your first relationship. Don't set this as the norm for what is typical behaviour for a gf. I have to assume that this need for continual contact, was not so prevalent during the first month together, and has probably come on strong since you cemented the relationship with sex, otherwise I dont think she would have ended up with GF tag. You liiked her enough to want to be in a relationship with her, just sit her down and lay it on the line to her, what you want + expect in the relationship. Give it a shot, as you know she wont change otherwise and it aint going to last.
silvermercy Posted February 13, 2012 Posted February 13, 2012 Well, I suppose you got unlucky for choosing this type of girl as a partner. Actually you both did. You are very different relationship types (like 2 extremes) if you like. If you feel "suffocated" after just a month it's not a good sign. If you break up, do it now, before she gets more attached to you.You can then both of you find relationships closer to your own type.
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