lilyblue Posted February 13, 2012 Posted February 13, 2012 So I was hanging out with my ex who I dated prior to the ex who brought me here today. We're friends and neither one of us have any interest in getting back together. At one point he said jokingly "happy 6 months" - and we figured out it has been exactly 6 months since we broke up. That part is fine, but it just got me reflecting on how bad the last 6 months have been. First I was dating my very good friend who would eventually disappear on me and go back to his ex-wife without telling me and never speak to me again. I still can't move past this. I spent 3 months incredibly depressed before seeking medical help, and in that time seemingly alienated many of my what I thought were good friends. 2 of them don't even talk to me anymore at all and one of them barely does. The one that barely does had moved away and was back to visit for 6 weeks and made time to see me twice. My brother also started being mad at me for being sad all the time, meanwhile none of my family cared that I was crying every time I saw them. Then my dog died, and my mom was diagnosed with cancer. And one of the friends I had left told me he didn't want to talk to me or see me anymore and told me he couldn't trust me because I was friends with a woman he would like to be in a relationship with and it hurts him too much to know we're excluding him. This is clearly manipulative (he wants me to tell her she should talk to him because I miss him or something). I have done absolutely nothing to deserve this from him, but sometimes it's hard not to take it personally. Everything has just piled up and I'm so unhappy. I don't have anyone left to talk to and although nothing hurts as much as the ex did, so many rejections in the past few months have cumulatively hurt me a lot. I don't know where to go from here or how to make things better when things just keep going poorly. Any advice would be appreciated.
CopingGal Posted February 13, 2012 Posted February 13, 2012 Hello Hun, Sorry you are feeling so alone. It sucks, I know. Sorry about what your ex did to you. He sounds like a cruel bastard. I'll give you the advice I've given other people here...find a volunteer job or project that doesn't take up too much time, but can allow you to help someone who wants and need help (ex: hospital, senior center, school program, afterschool program, home for children, etc., etc., etc.). Be around people who will appreciate your help. This has helped me tremendously. Also, check out what I wrote here http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t313322/
Author lilyblue Posted February 13, 2012 Author Posted February 13, 2012 Hello Hun, Sorry you are feeling so alone. It sucks, I know. Sorry about what your ex did to you. He sounds like a cruel bastard. I'll give you the advice I've given other people here...find a volunteer job or project that doesn't take up too much time, but can allow you to help someone who wants and need help (ex: hospital, senior center, school program, afterschool program, home for children, etc., etc., etc.). Be around people who will appreciate your help. This has helped me tremendously. Also, check out what I wrote here http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t313322/ Thanks for your reply, I appreciate you taking the time. I agree that helping people can help, I already volunteer coaching kids about 25 hours a week. It does help at times, but overall things are just still bad.
CopingGal Posted February 13, 2012 Posted February 13, 2012 Do you have time for any hobbies? Maybe reading non-fiction books would be good too- learn about clouds, the sky, etc. Start a blog and write words of encouragement to people who are going through what you are going through.
Scottdmw Posted February 15, 2012 Posted February 15, 2012 Hi Lilyblue, That's really awful that so many things have happened in a short period of time. Especially your poor dog! Sometimes it seems like the universe is just piling on right? Do you think there is anything you might be able to do to try to mend some of the broken relationships? Of course, if others choose not to be in a relationship with you there’s nothing you can do. But, maybe some of these people in your life will come around eventually. If not, it's a good time to try to get out into the world and build new relationships. Maybe there is something you're interested in that you haven't had time for up till now? Scott
Author lilyblue Posted February 18, 2012 Author Posted February 18, 2012 Hi Lilyblue, That's really awful that so many things have happened in a short period of time. Especially your poor dog! Sometimes it seems like the universe is just piling on right? Do you think there is anything you might be able to do to try to mend some of the broken relationships? Of course, if others choose not to be in a relationship with you there’s nothing you can do. But, maybe some of these people in your life will come around eventually. If not, it's a good time to try to get out into the world and build new relationships. Maybe there is something you're interested in that you haven't had time for up till now? Scott Thanks for your reply Scott. I'm hurt by all the people who have distanced themselves from me enough so that I don't really want to re-establish a relationship with them (aside from the ex, which seems dumb but is true). It just makes me sad and mad, and alone. They left me when I needed support the most. I have plenty of time and (maybe unfortunately) I don't really feel like there's anything I have missed out on. Nothing sounds that appealing to me either. I just keep waiting for things to get better. Doesn't seem to be happening.
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