My ex said the most horrible thing about me in an internet forum!! A rant

[ditzchic]

Is it justified that I kill him over this?? I would really like to go ape on his car with a sledge hammer right now....

 

So the ex is the guy that actually brought me to loveshack. I had a real tough time getting over him.

 

So here's the story. I was never sure about him when we were together. My spidey sense was tingling the whole time and I basically froze up on him. I felt really bad about that after it all ended. But I finally got over it...

 

If you're not aware of my backstory let me enlighten you. I used to be a really large girl. I lost 130 lbs in about 16 months time. My body is still adjusting to the weight loss, I'm not perfect. I have some really saggy spots on my body. It's nothing I like but all in all I'm proud of what I've done. I never really had any complaints about it in the bedroom and I dated some really good looking athletic guys that were actually pretty into it. One guy (a competitive cyclist) even thought my uniqueness was hot. He called it my battle scar and kept going on and on about how amazing what I did was.

 

Well this one changed all that and my self esteem has just taken a nose dive. I actually really liked this guy too. He wasn't super hot or athletic like some of the other guys I dated. He was 5'10 and 205lbs so pretty chubby himself. But when the clothes came off with him, he just kind of froze. It was absolutely apparent that he was not happy with the way my body looked. He kept his eyes tightly closed the whole time, he barely touched me, he barely did any work. After the first couple of times we had sex I decided that it was probably best to cut things off since I could feel myself getting more and more self-conscious about it and my self esteem was taking a hit. No man is worth that. He was also kind of obsessed with porn stars and strippers and actresses with perfect bodies and stuff which exacerbated the problem and frankly made me resentful... it was just too much. I told him that I just thought we were incompatible and he begged me not to leave him. He begged. But nothing changed in the bedroom. Things just took a nose-dive and he ended up dumping me about a month later saying that we were incompatible. My heart was broken but hey, it happens.

 

This was a few months ago that the break up happened and I moved on. Plenty more fish in the sea. Last night I got an e-mail about a new message from a website forum that I used to frequent when we were together. He actually convinced me to sign up for it. He must have forgot that I had an account because I was scrolling through the threads and there was one there about dating girls who used to be fat but are now hot. I was reading all the comments and there was one that said (this is copy and paste) "Hold off on calling them hot until you get their clothes off. I dated a girl that lost 150 lbs in a year and a half and she looked awesome in clothes but when they came off she had loose skin EVERYWHERE! She was really self-conscious about it. And with good reason. It was pretty revolting." Looked at the name of the poster to see who would post something so mean spirited and lo and behold it was my ex.

 

 

Ok, seriously??? I mean that guy was cute and funny but he wasn't anything that would make you break your neck, ya know? Plus he was kind of a weirdo and really immature so I'm not thinking he has lines of girls banging down his door to get in.

 

My skin is already better looking than it was when I was with him. And it's only going to keep getting better the more I keep working at it. His personality will probably be sh*tty for the rest of his life.

 

I don't know why I care so much. But I have a feeling this is going to rear it's head with the next guy I date now.

 

Would burning his house down be too much???

[Cmac]

Sorry to hear that. The guy sounds like a proper arsehole, seems like you've had a lucky escape. Don't let it get you down, like you already said, you've been with other guys who didn't mind and appreciated how you looked. There will be plenty other guys out there too who also will appreciate and respect you. Don't let one arsehole crush your self esteem after all the work you did to lose weight and get healthy.

[carhill]

Sorry to read that, OP. I can empathize. I still cringe a bit when hearing from friends what my exW told them about me during our M. But, hey, I've heard and felt a lot worse so it is what it is. Same with this guy. The good news is he's on another planet now, one you won't be visiting. It all works out.

 

Congrats regarding your weight loss and best wishes for continued good health.

[chelsea2011]

My lord...thank goodness he's out of your life. You dodged a bullet because he is a total d*ck! I know it hurts, but just consider the source and move on. He's a shallow a**.

[Mohanson]

I am so sorry he posted that about you, that's absolutely horrible. Some people are just shallow and void of character. Apparently he's one of them, that's an amazing thing you did losing all that weight and he the best he could do was call you out about something you have no control over.

 

He did you a favor, at least you see his true colors you really dodged a bullet on that one. Things will continue looking up for you, where as I am sure the next chick that dumps him will probably post on a forum about how chunky and awkward he is.

[smudge21]

I've seen this type of behaviour before and it's happened to me. I found out a previous ex had been telling everyone she knew how much she hated me (along with giving reasons) yet at the same time she was trying to get me back, but I wanted none of it (she cheated). I guess it was a defense mechanism to protect her from the reality that she'd lost me.

 

For all you know, this is the same - he may be putting you down in public to make himself feel better as he's missing you or regretting it's over. People only realise what they've got once it's gone, but by then it's too late.

 

Either way, whatever his reasons, they're not your concern. It's an internet forum full of strangers. They have no bearing in your life and are about as important as he is. Now go live your life safe in the knowledge that it's his loss and there truly is more, and better, fish in the sea.

[Emilia]

I'm really sorry OP. I had a guy I slept with once who was also a colleague at the time (yeah, I know!) who told people stories about it after because he knew I thought the sex was s**t.

[gaius]

He's more expressing disgust with himself then he is with you ditz. I have a fat male friend who rants about fat women all the time, it's the way he vents because it's not acceptable to genuinely rag on yourself as a man. Those in shape guys who were totally happy with you weren't lying, and are in the majority of men. Don't let his personal issues cloud the way you think of yourself.

 

I'm sure the cops would understand if you burnt down his house though.

[Sugarkane]

People who say these sorts of things are usually no oil painting themselves. Am I right? Or really ugly on the inside.